Since then, much has changed, and now women's independence does not bother anyone. Moreover, she ceased to be considered a sign of an old maid or loser who can not build a personal life. Now the independence between a man and a woman is a blessing to which many seek. But it's not everyone who learns to live with it. So let's look at several types of independent relationships, and decide what can be done with them.
Emotional independence
Psychologists who study the breakdown of the family and marriage say that a significant part of the divorce on the initiative of the husband is due to the overly strong emotional dependence of the wife. When a wife puts her husband in the center of his own universe and his interests become important to her, the man strains. And when she brings herself to the point that she can not make the slightest decision without him, rejoices at every his kind word and becomes sad from an ill-considered act, a man begins to feel confused by his legs and hands. Paradox, but men usually do not want to be the only point of interest of their wife. Whatever they say in words, they really like it when the wife has other ways of realizing her emotionality, rather than communicating with them.
Emotional dependence can manifest itself in other, even more unpleasant forms. For example, if a woman grew up in a family where scandals were the norm, she and her husband try to provoke conflicts. He brings it masterfully, but not noticeable for himself, and then with joy and a sense of accomplishment reports to his friends that "all men are bastards."
It turns out that the ability to get emotions and the ability to spill them beyond the relationship between a man and a woman is an important factor of success in his personal life. If you want a long and happy relationship with her husband, go to theaters, to exhibitions, talk with friends and friends, read books, watch good movies, talk on the Internet. The main thing - do not get hung up on a man. They do not forgive this!
The emotional dependence of the philosopher Erich Fromm called "love-slavery." He believes that only "love-freedom" can give a person genuine happiness. The difference between them can be expressed in simple phrases. "I love you so much, that without you I can not", is "love-slavery". And if you can say with a clear conscience: "I love you so much, but I can do without you" - this is love-freedom. Fromm was confident that the most stable, stable, happy and harmonious relationships are in those pairs in which each of the spouses in advance "released" the other in freedom in his mind. In such pairs, usually neither man nor woman abuse their freedom, and do not try to hurt each other, violating the basic principles of healthy relationships, do not try to cause unreasonable jealousy and are jealous of themselves rarely.
Financial independence
Some women exclaim: "We fought-fought for feminism, now we're sorting it out." Probably, they mean that men have recently happily accepted the ability of a woman to be financially independent. They can easily entrust her to support her family and make vital decisions. Independently between a man and a woman, the guys found their use. And already the families in which the husband earns, and the wife sits at home with children, become an archaism.
In fact, nothing wrong with that. American psychologists have long noted the fact that in families in which each family member has his own pocket expenses, they experience fewer conflicts because of money. So it's normal for a healthy family, when it's not the wife anymore, and the husband does not keep the overall budget in his own hands. And when each of them contributes to the household budget, and everyone - including children from ten years old - has his own personal budget.
Here it is worth mentioning that there are periods when the division of budgets is inappropriate. Pregnancy and the birth of a baby make a woman objectively unable to support herself for some time. So it is not worthwhile to build in the cult and absolutize financial independence between a man and his wife. In everything there should be a "golden mean".
Sexual independence
That's what should be avoided in a relationship, so it's an open relationship. As studies of family psychologists show, only some marginal people can survive the trips "on the side" of their own spouse or spouse without psychological trauma. And even more so it's worth thinking about the consequences if you are offered a relationship in which each of the partners can have connections on the side.
Treason is generally considered a "point of irreversibility" in a relationship. This means that treason is such a critical period in the life of the family, which changes the relationship in it radically. Most couples sooner or later part after betrayal, even if for a while they are able to turn a blind eye to each other's antics. And men are more cruel in this matter than women. A man can say that he is not against having his wife or a beloved woman try sex with someone else. However, in practice, as soon as it comes to realization, he often expose the harlot for the threshold of his house. It is not difficult to verify this. If your man says that he is not against triple conjunctions, group sex and adventure on the side, offer him - at least for fun - sex for three. And you will see that for sex, in which he is present and two women, he will agree much more quickly and willingly than on sex, in which there are you and two men.
If you are not so brave to experiment with such provocations, then just trust the opinions of experts. Psychologists work a lot with people and see what types of relationships can lead a person to happiness and harmony, and which are a dead-end path to nowhere. Why should you check on your own skin what is checked by hundreds of pairs, and stuff your own bumps?