How to help your loved one find his place in life?

When we love someone, we always want this person to be the happiest. That's why, seeing that he can not find his place in life, we begin to try to ponder him, prompt him, convince him. But for some reason, not always our assistance is received with gratitude. On the contrary, he can get angry and angry, ask not to go into his own business. How to act in this case and how to properly help your loved one to look for a place in life?


Does he want anything?

First, in order for your help to go for good, and not to harm, you need to honestly answer the question: what does he want from life? That's it, not you. Many people think that from the side it is better to know what is better for a person. On the other hand, this statement is correct, and on the other hand it is false. Perhaps it is better for you to see what is better for him if you look at the situation from the financial side, and he looks at everything through the prism of his moral satisfaction. So, before you start to push him to certain actions, make sure that they do not exactly harm him. It happens that a woman seems: her man can not find a place in life, and he is unhappy. Therefore, the lovely lady begins all possible and impossible ways to push, pull and drag the young man to his happiness. And for some reason he does not want to go to him, and if he does, he becomes more unhappy. In this situation, the girl can not understand what happened, and what she did wrong. Some even start blaming the guys for being thankful. Although, in fact, they do not give thanks, then, because their life has become worse.

So if you really want to help your loved one, try to really understand him. Listen to what he says, watch how he acts. Only a maximum understanding of the person's wishes and goals makes it possible to really help find a place in life.

Undo

Everyone wants to make decisions independently. If you constantly impose your opinion on someone, sooner or later a person will begin to resist. Especially if it's a man. It is very important for the guys to decide for themselves what they want from life. When women decide for them, it's very insulting to men's dignity. Therefore, even if you are absolutely sure that you know how for a loved one it will be better, never force him to do what you want. Often this leads to confrontation: the man begins do stupid things, just do not go on about a woman. So if you want the guy to make the right choice, never talk about it directly. It is not for nothing that the proverb says that the man is head, and the woman is the neck. You must guide him, but so that the guy would think: he himself chooses this path. Therefore, if you want to help an affable person find their place in life, try not to rush and leave. Perhaps you will need more than one month to bring it to the right decision. So be patient and do not try to achieve one day. If you "drive horses", then, most likely, the guy simply will not listen to you or will accept your suggestions as an excuse to arrange a scandal. Therefore, never say everything at once and directly. On the contrary, try to express your opinion in such a way that it would seem that you are simply saying that you are trying to convince something in something. To do this, never start your speech sphraz: "I think you need ...", "I think it's time for you ...", "But Petya did that, not like you." It is necessary to speak in general terms, as if you are talking about unimportant things, you can say gossip. For example: "And you heard that Taras went to work in ...", "I would never have thought that Vovkasmo ...", "But Pasha is so fond of ...". It is these phrases that cause men to think about whether they themselves should change something in life, if other guys do it. For men, the opinion of the nominal sex is very important. Even if they do not admit it out loud, they still do not want to be worse than Vova, Petya or someone else. Therefore, by such conversations you can push the guy to change in his life. Just do not compare anyone, just tell.

Give praise support

If your man still decided to look for his place in life, always praise him and support him. By the way, at this moment it may turn out that he does not do what you expected at all. For example, they invented that he would become a famous programmer, and the guy suddenly began to paint pictures. Remember what we discussed at the beginning of the article: finding your place in life means to do what your favorite person wants, not yourself. So be ready to support any of his choices. Even if you consider it unpromising and unprofitable. Remember that to find a place in life is not necessarily to become a successful businessman-lawyer who pinches money with a shovel. To find a place in life is to feel the emotional comfort and enjoyment of what you are doing. So, if you feel that in fact, under the cover of help, want to bring your dreams and desires through the man, then stop. In other cases, you will expect constant resentment and disappointment, as, most likely, you will not get what you hope for.

Never let your loved one go in cycles with slips, but do not over-praise it. If you constantly repeat, how good he is and how everything is right, then in the end, turn into a worn out record, which either does not pay attention, or is perceived as a source of irritation. Therefore, remember that everything must be a measure. You can criticize a little, point out obvious mistakes, but it needs to be done so that the guy is clear: you say this only because you know - he can do everything better. And do not forget that each person has his own character and perceives everything in his own way. Someone needs to criticize, someone to praise, but someone is best to say once and more unrepeat. Therefore, trying to help your loved one, do everything with an eye on the peculiarities of his character, the perception of praise or criticism. Remember that someone with a hard criticism accumulates all their strength and rushes into the battle, and for someone it's a reason to stop and lay down their hands.

If you want to help your loved one find your own in life, then ask yourself first: but can you be with him when the search ends? Will it be just as attractive, intelligent, kind for you? Each of us has our own way of life and it is very important that those whom we love can walk along it at our own volition. If you know that you love and perceive your loved one no matter which path he eventually chooses, then you have already completed half of the work. When someone is looking close to someone who is looking at him in the same direction, this inspires the person to actions and makes a lot to achieve. Well, in addition to sharing the desires of your young man, tell me, but do not press, help, but do not take everything upon yourself. He must find his place in life himself, and you try to become for him a reliable and faithful companion who will help to go through all the obstacles and achieve what he so wants.