How to benefit from criticism, even if it is unpleasant?

Criticism always annoys us. Whether it's a matter of hearing what we are "white and fluffy". But if you do not learn to distinguish between hostile and friendly criticism, fair from unjust, it will be difficult to build any relations with others. In fact, what is criticism for us? This is an out loud disagreement or doubt in the motivation of our actions, and already our right to agree or not. Moreover, one must be able to find a sound beginning in the criticism and use it for its own good. Criticism from friends is the most valuable in life. We choose them ourselves, they are in some ways like us. The trouble is that a friendly note may not sound right on time (a friend will not stand on ceremony and adjust to your mood). Most of us will plug our ears, instead of calmly accepting criticism and using it.

Friends can not talk for years after a casual remarks, for example, about a too hasty wedding with a girl who does not really know anything. And only after a couple of years you are convinced how much a delicate friend, hinting at his doubts, was right. Friends need to be able to listen, their criticism is the most constructive. Ok, friends can be listened to, but criticism from parents is very difficult.

Most of the recommendations are aimed at linking the value orientations of fathers and children. On the one hand - respect for the views of the parents, on the other - the right to live their lives. But it is here zakopanoratsionalnoe grain of the very meaning of the relationship of adult children with not yet fallen into senile marasmus. The advice is simple - put yourself in their place. Who, if not you, know the life priorities of your mother, be able to understand the stubbornness of some of your father's positions! Criticism on the part of your parents may be biased, biased, but it clearly pursues the goal - to do you something good. Looking at yourself from their eyes, one can understand their concern, for example, in connection with your hobby to run in the evening for a "beer" for the sake of mugs of beer. And ask yourself, really, do not you want to take the second one after a cup in the hot summer? Asli winter, then keep warm vodka grams for a hundred? Already, something, and the life-prolongation of some initial misdemeanor, parents can draw in front of your eyes. Understand them to understand, by the way, you too are parents or soon will be them, and the same claims, but already with your language will be broken by the subjugation of YOUR children of some age boundary. A beautiful anecdote: "A mother chastises her daughter for being too easy, in her opinion, behavior:" I'm in your age ... ". Her daughter interrupts: "... In your years ... In your years ... Yes, in these years you have already been a year and a half!". Honor and praise to parents, they are able to point out something negative in your habitual positive, in your perception, being, listen to them, do not boil, half an hour think about what was heard (after all, it was not said), and make conclusions.

At work, criticism should be taken adequately, it can not be perceived automatically, as well as reject. From healthy criticism to intrigue, one step. If the criticizing party does not even make it difficult for the concreteness of the remarks, and bypassing common words such as "This is not good enough!", Then it is not worthwhile to enter into controversy. It will not lead to anything good for you. Here you can recommend a succinct answer in essence, so that the opponent does not catch on to your words and does not begin to untwist a new round of accusations. Ask them to specify non-objective reproaches. But if the criticism is fair, do not be afraid of it, healthy criticism is an incentive to your growth, anikak is not a threat. Honestly admit the mistake, thereby demonstrating your sanity, which will only strengthen your business reputation.