After all, the negativity that is not manifested does not dissolve by itself - and, having no opportunity to go outside, directs its destructive force inward, negative human emotions and rudeness.
In recent decades, with the development of the science of psychosomatics, another idea is becoming increasingly popular: to openly express any (!) One's feelings, negative human emotions and rudeness. Unfortunately, some people believe that being open means splashing out your emotional problems on others.
Both these strategies of behavior of negative emotions of a person and rudeness are extremes, and the golden mean is to understand the nature of their emotions and either to find a constructive way out for them or to refocus the negative into positive. We suggest that you figure out how to act if destructive emotions harass you, your child, or when you are in a society of an emotional aggressor.
The nature of emotions
Psychologists know that the palette of negative emotions, negative emotions of a person and rudeness is much brighter and wider than joyful: this is the peculiarity of our psyche, conditioned by the history of mankind. In ancient times anger, fear, rage were vital: if properly, do not get angry before the battle, you will not overcome the enemy. And if you do not get scared in time, you will not have time to get away from the tiger. In addition, negative experiences are necessary for us to stabilize, balance our internal state: behind the joyful ascent inevitably follows a minor decline.
Anyway, we all experience from time to time bitterness, disappointment, resentment, anger, irritation, negative emotions of a person and rudeness. The main thing is that emotions should not lead us, but we them. The Bible says: "Do not sin when you are angry." In other words, experiencing anger is natural for a person. However, even staying in this state, you can and should act reasonably.
Learn to negotiate
Take for granted that you can not permanently remain in a state of love for peace and rejoice at absolutely everything that happens to you. There's always something that can get you out of the rut. However, it depends only on you yourself, on what you will direct your psychic energy: to destruction or to creation. First of all, stop being ashamed of your "wrong" experiences, negative emotions of a person and rudeness - they are part of you, and you have a right to them. When the wave of emotions fizzles out, try to analyze what happened and understand what kind of events caused the reaction of anger, fright or resentment on your part. Suppose the husband forgot about the anniversary of your wedding and you are offended. However, the triggering mechanism for such a reaction was not at all the fact of selective "amnesia" of the faithful, but the fact that you, most likely, felt unnecessary and insignificant. Think about how to avoid such negative manifestations in the future. Maybe it's worth reminding your spouse about the upcoming festivities in a few days - and that's the end of it? And stop "thinking out" for the beloved: he loves you, but he really forgot about the date!
Dismount the accumulated negative emotions of a person and rudeness in a constructive way. In society there are sanctioned forms of eccentric behavior: football or a concert where you can shout at your best; boxing, where you can blow the pear-opponent from the heart; various team games. Finally, in the heat of quarrel, when you feel that something impermissible is about to break from your lips, run into the next room and scream into the pillow, swim properly with your bare feet or whip off a soft toy - anger will literally flow out of the body and fuse for fights with loved ones will be diminished.
I would like to see the reasons for negative emotions of a person and rudeness become less and less? Try an exercise called total yes. For a minimum of three days, practice a position of complete agreement with everything that happens in your life. For example, you broke a car. Think about that, perhaps in this way, the Lord protects you from more unpleasant events on the road. In the meantime, the car will be under repair, you can leave the metro every day for a couple of stops earlier and walk them on foot, in a cheerful rhythm, with cheerful music in the player - a couple of weeks of such training, and there will be no trace of "winter" fat accumulation! At first, practicing the total "yes" will not be easy, there may be disruptions - do not despair, just return to the right path, as soon as you notice that you have left it.
For body and soul
Smile, you rude!
Eternally dissatisfied, easily irritated, all and all critical people seem to be motivated by a single goal: to pull the people out of themselves. Such "emotional vampires" are on any work and in any company, in a word, in any collective. They can not escape from anywhere - but you can and should learn to co-exist with them.
First, accustom yourself not to get involved in negative emotions of a person and rudeness in the emotional state of another person. As soon as you were indignant, answered the sharp remark the same - consider that the provocateur has achieved his: brought you out of balance. You do not like it? React otherwise. Subtle humor, calm, benevolent smile can disarm any boor. By the way, you, absolutely, do not have to compete with the offender in wit and spend time and energy on making a retort more ironically. Do not you know what to say? Just smile and shake your shoulders.
The benevolent person is psychologically much stronger and more secure than the one whose face is distorted by a grimace of anger. A healthy sense of humor relieves tension and instantly discharges the situation - and the unpleasant situation loses power over us.
If the insolent and the boorish meet on your way somehow suspiciously often, think about this. Random people and "passing" events in our lives do not happen: every meeting, every situation (even the most unpleasant) can teach us something important. In addition, the surrounding - this is our mirror: what most affects the other people is exactly what we do not accept and can not forgive ourselves. And maybe the aggressors appear in your life so that you finally learn how to clearly say "no" and defend the boundaries of your psychological territory? In this case, you should work on your self-esteem - when a person is radiant with inner confidence, the number of those wishing to "ride" on his neck is somehow sharply reduced.
Do not set yourself the goal of re-educating the aggressor: morals are boring by themselves, and irritable people do act like a red rag on a bull. In the end, we can not change the world - but when we change our attitude to what is happening, miracles happen!
If you feel that the discussion turns into a quarrel, negative emotions of a person and rudeness, try to leave the conflict zone: under a plausible pretext, leave for a few minutes from the room. If there is no way to do this, try to distance yourself from the abuser, start talking in a calm, muffled voice (a soft female female voice calms). Try not to stand (sit) strictly opposite to the opponent - it is better to stay a little sideways from him.
There is a problem? There is a solution!
Envy of more successful people
Stop comparing yourself to others! Instead of suffering because of the imperfection of your life, concentrate on developing your own merits.
Increased suspiciousness
With us happens what we expect, so strictly forbid yourself to scroll in your head negative. Learn to trust life.
Violation of plans (traffic jams, delays, etc.)
Be flexible and, building plans, always consider the probability of annoying accidents, negative emotions of a person and rudeness. Carry an audiobook or a mini-glider to fill your expectations.
Unjustified expectations
People around can not guess your desires - they are not telepaths. So let them know what you want - calmly and without complaint. And remember that other people do not have to meet all your requirements.
Unexpected rudeness
Crowded in a minibus or in line? Smile and throw it out of your head! Anger at you tear someone household? Refocus it on something pleasant and completely not concerning the dispute (scandalous husband offered to do a massage, disobedient child distracted by a fairy tale).
Time trouble on all fronts
From time to time "blockages" happen to each of us. You need to remake a thousand things at once, you try your best, you strain and, in the end, you feel that you lose control over the situation. How here to keep the ground under your feet? Relax! A lot of time is in place, who is in no hurry. So make a list of all your affairs, distribute them by importance and urgency and start with something one. So, without hurrying up, step by step you will deal with all your "debris".
The child does not obey
Just yesterday, obedient and affectionate, today the crumb turned into a stubborn man, who answers all your proposals: "No". It's normal - in the life of every young man there are periods when he goes through becoming as a person. Outbreaks of aggression and disobedience are observed
at many children, especially in three, six-seven years, and also at teenage age. And yet to agree with the little tomboy is real. Analyze the situation in the family, because the behavior of a son or daughter always reflects the microclimate in the house. Disobedience, fights, hysterics can be the result of overly strict, "army" education, constant quarrels between parents or, conversely, emotional coldness on the part of mom or dad. In this case, to solve the problem of negative emotions of a person and rudeness, parents need to revise, first of all, their own way of thinking.
Try to understand the child's feelings, to look at the situation with his eyes. Together with the baby, compose a fairy tale or discuss the drawing of a crumb. Ask him questions: "Why did the main character do this and so and so?", "What does he want?", "What does it take for him to get what he wants?". The answers of the karapuza will help you understand his true needs.
"Day on the contrary" is a day (for example, once a week), when everything is allowed: to walk before lunch in pajamas, do not wash, do not brush your teeth, eat ice cream for lunch, throw pillows and be painted with mother's lipstick. This approach allows the child to throw out the accumulated tension, removes the effect of the forbidden fruit, strengthens the trust between the parents and their child.
As a punishment for negative emotions of a person and rudeness, try not to use force. Of course, we are all people and every mother happened to spit out her impatience with the pope. However, do not get carried away with corporal punishment-in this case, the child's subconscious mind will be stereotyped: in response to force, you can apply even more force, and it will be, in your opinion. Better if as a punishment, not negative human emotions and rudeness (standing in the corner, slaps and cuffs) are applied, but depriving of something good (watching cartoons, buying a new toy, etc.).