Psychologist's advice: can I keep my husband a child?

Is it possible to keep a husband a child? Many ask themselves this question, besides, the answers to it are different. Some say it's possible, others that are not, thirdly, that everything depends on the man and the woman, their characters, the situation. Probably the most rational here is the third answer, because we can not determine this situation for sure. One man can stay for the sake of the child, and the other does not want to spoil his life for this. After all, why live with an unloved woman? It is much easier to go to another, beloved, or even stay alone, then to start a new, desired and beloved family. The article "Psychologist's advice: is it possible to keep a husband a child?" Will explain if it is worth doing, and if not - why.

Anyway, the advice of a psychologist: whether it is possible to keep a husband a child, will first consider what exactly we mean when we say "keep the husband a child". After all, situations are different, and not all of us can be judged equally. After all, there were cases when a girl, in order to keep a guy in an honest or dishonest way, became pregnant. It turns out that the guy must marry her ... Or the case when they were already married and had a big risk of divorce, then the woman decides to manipulate her husband, involves him in his game, playing on his moral values ​​and decides that the husband will not leave her, because that he will not be allowed a sense of duty, moral values ​​and conscience.

But in that case there is still a risk that the husband can leave you to another, divorce and pay alimony to his or her future child. Everything depends on the person, how much he is devoted to traditions and beliefs, how strong-willed and kind his character is. If you still manage to keep your husband, think about the situation itself, its consequences. Imagine that you still managed to do it.

First, the act itself is already immoral, you manipulate a person, play on his feelings and emotions and break his life. After all, if you want to keep a husband, you already have such plans and thoughts, it means that you feel that he has lost to you love and feelings, perhaps a person wants to divorce and leave, found another companion of his life. It happens: people do not agree with the characters, they make mistakes when choosing a partner, or an unplanned pregnancy happens, the partners were not ready for it, and there is no real love between them, and can not exist. The husband can also wish to leave you because of constant quarrels and conflicts, and simply because of the lack of love. In such cases, a person should simply be let go without holding it. Think for yourself how even it will be better for you: if the husband wants to leave because of the incompatibility of characters, constant quarrels, can you tolerate this all your life, accept it? How will such quarrels affect you, and can you live with the person you "hold back"? Will you be reconciled with the fact that this person does not love you, that he does not belong to you, and stayed with you only for the sake of raising a child, as a duty?

Secondly, think about your husband. If you can keep it, you understand that you interfere with the natural order of substances, and that you act against his will. If you love him and want to keep him, because you are so attached to him that you can not imagine your life without him, do not be so selfish, because true love is the desire of your loved one to be happy, healthy, love, he was all good. Love is not only a feeling that means burning with a passion for a certain object, wanting to live with it all your life. This is much more. And if you really love your husband, you must let him go. There are many other wonderful men in the world who will not make you suffer, they will really love you, and they will not have to be kept near you. Such a person will want to keep you, take care of you and stay with you for life.

Thirdly: think about your future child. The husband's love for a child depends on how much his mother loves him. If he does not have any feelings for her, the likelihood that he will adore your child is low. Moreover, the husband will remain in the family with the child not because of love for him, but because of the duty to educate him and his own inner duty to himself. Even if he will love your child, he will not be raised accordingly. After all, psychologists have long proven that a child should grow in love, and also be brought up in a family where mom and dad live in perfect harmony with each other. By their example, he learns to act when he grows up, shapes his consciousness and attitude, develops character and prejudices. A child who grows up in an inferior family, and also witnesses the father's mistreatment of the mother, the absence of their love, will not grow mentally stable. There is a high probability that he will begin to develop mental abnormalities, neuroses and stresses, and in the future, he will do the same. Do you want to expose your child to such a risk? Will you sacrifice them to keep your husband?

If you plan to keep him as a child, after years of marriage, consider whether this is a way out? Is this the right decision, are you ready to use the future child for such purposes? Yes, and the very desire to keep her husband, is already talking about the obvious problems in the relationship, which should be addressed in a completely different way.

First understand the reasons why your husband wants to leave, what are the secondary reasons that can push him to such an act? What blunders and shortcomings have appeared in your relationship recently and what has led to it? Try to find faults in yourself and correct them, ask what you did wrong, maybe sometimes you need to forget about your pride and principles, ask for forgiveness, because when a person is loved - it's not worth the trouble. In the case when your relationship is exhausted, the days turn gray - think carefully, how they can be revived, what to do, in order to correct this situation. Sometimes you should even just wait. If the relationship is overflowing with conflicts - avoid them, try to solve.

Is it possible to keep a husband a child? It's possible, but think about whether you need this, do you really want to solve your problems that way? There are many ways to solve conflicts. Think not only about yourself, but about other family members. Sometimes the more difficult method is the most correct - this is the advice of a psychologist.