What does a person with an overestimated self-esteem look like?
Today we will try to give advice to a psychologist for people with high self-esteem. If a person with low self-esteem, as a rule, is not determined, shy, takes with caution for different things, assesses his chances and success is lower than he really is, then a man with an overestimated self-esteem, on the contrary, overestimates his real successes and opportunities. Such a person estimates himself much higher than the evaluation that people around him give him. To the people around him, he usually is hostile. His malevolence is manifested by defiant, aggressive, arrogant or arrogant behavior with other people. So he wants to seem better than he really is.
A person with high self-esteem constantly tries to emphasize his services, likes to praise himself, while disapproving about other people and even can afford pejorative remarks. Such a person wants to prove to the surrounding world that he is the best, always and in all rights, while others, on the contrary, are all very bad and are always wrong. He very painfully and violently reacts to criticism. A man with an overestimated self-esteem, although not satisfied with himself in the depths of his soul, from others requires constant recognition of his superiority. It is difficult for him to be happy because of eternal discontent with something: the environment, the conditions of life, the realization of his sometimes unrealizable desires. This person is very difficult to change the idea of yourself, as it will require tremendous efforts both for the person himself and for his loved ones.
How to change?
To a person with an overestimated self-esteem to change, they need a fairly long period of time and, possibly, even the help of a psychologist. A psychologist can offer many different psychological tests and exercises, for example, such an exercise to correct an overestimated self-esteem: on a sheet of paper you need to write ten of your main merits and evaluate their severity on a five-point system. Ask them to do the same for their relatives or friends. Then compare the results. What is the difference in the estimates? Why can it be? You should try to determine the real cause of these discrepancies in yourself and your own behavior, and not in other people. Next, you need to write ten of your main shortcomings. Do they interfere in life? Do they disturb people around you? We need to think about this.
How does one behave with such a person?
The people surrounding such a person need not hesitate to put it in place. In the beginning it should be done gently and delicately. If this does not help, it is worth expressing it concretely and frankly. For example, ask him why he considers himself better than others? But in no case do not descend to insults and scandals. The task is to draw the attention of a person to his behavior. Do not raise your voice. On the contrary, we must maintain maximum serenity and even some kind of sympathy.
Usually people with high self-esteem are bad friends. They try to be friends only with those who can be of use to them, and the rest are frankly ignored. Humiliation from such people should not be taken to heart, because in fact, they are unhappy, because they can not be themselves and are constantly forced to play someone else's invented role.
Overstated or understated self-esteem of the person can turn into a real disease and bring a person to self-destructive behavior. Advice for people here is aimed at getting rid of selfishness and egocentrism. With overestimated self-esteem, one should learn to be positive about yourself and others, and also try to develop a manner of behavior and communication that is characteristic of a person with normal self-esteem.
The advice of a psychologist in this situation is as follows:
- Listen to the opinions of the surrounding people, both approving and disapproving: often they can give a true assessment, than it is possible to do it yourself.
- Calmly treat criticism, without aggression and scandals.
- Not having coped with the charged affairs it is necessary to search for the reasons in itself, instead of in people from an environment or other circumstances.
- Learn to understand the sincerity of this or that praise, how much it is deserved and whether it corresponds to reality.
- Compare yourself with the most successful people in a certain kind of activity or in life in general.
- Carefully analyze your capabilities before you take on any business or assignment, making the right conclusion.
- Do not take your shortcomings as minor details, especially regarding the shortcomings of other people.
- Be self-critical, as self-criticism within reasonable limits promotes self-development.
- Having completed successfully the business of thinking, and whether it was possible to make it even better and what prevented it?
- Focus on the evaluation of their results by other people, and not content with their own satisfaction.
- Respect the feelings and desires of other people, because they are as important as their own feelings and desires.
People with adequate self-esteem in order to determine what can be expected from communicating with this or that person, we must first understand his attitude to himself. Communicating with people, you should carefully observe and learn to understand by the expression of the person, gait, manner of conversation the level of their self-esteem of the person. This will help to build the right communication, so that everyone feels on an equal footing and does not suffer a sense of dignity.