Student's time is not only five years, when "from session to session students live cheerfully". This, of course, is also the time of love. It happens that fervent feelings lead to their logical conclusion - marriage. Student family - is it good or bad? And how is such a family different from others? And is it different? Read all the answers below.
Even in the second half of the XIX century in Russia, the optimal age for marriage was the age of 13-16 years for girls, 17-18 years for boys. Today 18-22 years (the age of university students) is considered some too early for marriage. Why? People began to develop more slowly? And maybe it's not in the physiology, psychology or financial situation? Perhaps the fact that "students are getting married early" is just another stereotype? Let's try to figure it out.
Where to hurry?
So why is it that the family is good and the student's family is bad?
Alexei, 46 years old.
Which of the students is the family? They are really children! In addition, there is no housing, no money! Yes, there is no head on the shoulders! In our time, the young people were more serious, they could take care of themselves. And now? They will give birth to a child, they will hang their parents around their neck, and they do not know grief. Of course, parents will help! But what did the children think about when they gave birth to their children? This, if I may say so, "wife", even the pasta can not boil! And does not want. Is this a family?
Such an opinion, expressed by a representative of the older generation, is perhaps hardly surprising. But it turns out that such a categorical rejection of the conclusion of marriage in the student years is typical for a significant part of today's students themselves. They want to first achieve material independence and only then create a family.
Julia, 19 years old.
Honestly, I do not understand why I should marry during my studies. Can not you wait? After all, no one forbids to meet with a loved one. And a family that lives on a scholarship, by definition, can not be happy. What happiness is there, when there is nothing to live and nowhere to live. I'm not talking about good clothes and interesting leisure. And the children ... Here, of course, everyone decides for himself, but I will not give birth to anything until I finish the institute and will not get a stable salary. Husband - he is today, but not tomorrow. How to raise a child to a girl-student? But she is responsible for her baby.
Most young people at the beginning of their family life face problems that they may have heard before, but did not think that they will have to solve them:
■ lack of housekeeping skills;
■ social immaturity;
■ Lack of facilities and own housing (not all schools provide a family dormitory);
■ incompatibility of study at the university and the performance of family functions (especially for young mothers who have to transfer to a correspondence department or go on academic leave);
■ great dependence on parents, especially financial, as well as childcare.
Not a joyful picture at all. However, despite such a vehement rejection of student marriages alone, others are sure that the student family ...
No worse than others!
Moreover, the attitude towards student families from parents, administrations of higher education institutions and society as a whole is changing in a positive way. It becomes more tolerant.
Andrew, 26 years old.
In my opinion, the student families are no different from any others. After all, students - the most intellectually and spiritually developed, the most conscious part of the youth, then they are, in principle, ready for marriage. It's probably wrong when the next child becomes the cause of marriage. But I am absolutely against abortion. Although the normal presence of children, perhaps, does not help. Only for the husband there is always an excuse at the examination that, they say, the child is small, the wife is young and everything. By the way, if the newlyweds study at the same faculty, they can also help each other in studies. And in general, if people really love each other, then they are on the shoulder.
Oksana, 22 years old.
For me, the question "To be or not to be a student's family?" Is not worth it at all. I myself married in the third year, and my son is now six months old. And I never, not a second, did not regret anything. Is that the fact that the child was not able to plan, otherwise I would lead a healthier lifestyle. Now I'm in academic, my husband moved to correspondence and works. In principle, we have enough money. Of course, there are problems. And who does not have them? As if you graduated from the institute - and everything, milk rivers, puddles. Young professionals are far from having a high salary and their own apartment - in the distant future. Financial and emotional stability does not come very soon, and even do not come at all. If now, in the student's years, not to give birth, then there will be a lot of reasons to postpone. In addition, when my baby grows up, I will still be quite young, I can be my child not only a good mother, but also a friend.
Hence, there are still the students' families and their advantages:
■ youth (and therefore, student years) - the best time from the physiological and psychological point of view for marriage and the birth of the first child;
■ marriage is always better than extramarital intimate relationships, widespread in the youth environment;
■ Family students are more serious about their studies and their chosen profession;
■ the marital status has a beneficial effect on the student's value orientations, contributes to the development of intellectual and social needs;
■ Marriages concluded in college years are in most cases characterized by a high degree of cohesion based on the belonging of the spouses to one socio-demographic group, which is characterized by a common interest, specific subculture and way of life.
It turns out that students who create a family have one major problem - responsibility. For your soul mate, for a baby (already appeared, planned or unplanned) and for your own future. The older generation is skeptical of the fact that students are able to take on such (and generally at least some) responsibility and exist without someone else (especially without parental) help. But do not blame him for this skepticism. After all, young people themselves prefer to postpone the decision of "adult" problems for later. Probably, this is correct. But the fact is that there are a large number of sufficiently adult, held people who still can not decide on an important step. People who have got a car, an apartment and a good job. But to create a family, they all lack something. Perhaps courage? And what if it is never found?
On the other hand, you can create an "effect of presence" of "adulthood." I will marry, give birth to a child. And that's it, I'm an adult! But the family is not a fairy tale, not a pink dream. This is first of all the verification of each person for independence, readiness to face daily problems. Only here is the case, perhaps, not so much at the actual age. The fact is, how responsible a person is at his step, whether he feels sincere feelings, whether he wants to "be together in illness and health, in wealth and poverty ..." in words and in deeds? " And if he wants, can age be a hindrance? After all, adult uncles and aunts also make mistakes.
Listen to your heart. Soberly assess their capabilities. And everything will be fine with you. In student's and subsequent years.