The husband looks porn - what to do?

"My husband looks at porn every day! - exclaim women at a reception with a sexologist. - This is not normal! He has me, we are all well in bed. What else does he need? ". This situation is typical, it occurs in half (if not more) of absolutely normal families, although sometimes it is a call about the beginning of an intra-family crisis. How to react to wives on such unexpected hobby of the husband? And should we even make a problem out of this? How to intelligently understand and not spoil the relationship? Read about it below.

In the first place, you need to find out two main points: the fact that a man watches pornofilms, in the presence of quite normal and regular sexual contacts with his wife, and that it outrages and offends a woman. Sexologists believe that the main problem just like it consists in a painful reaction of a woman. However, not all so unambiguously.

What gives a man porn.

Women often, sharing with someone on this topic, take offense: "Why is he looking? I do not like it. I believe that if there is such a young, attractive, with such a beautiful baby, like me - why should he look at someone else ?! Maybe onnormal? Or I do not like it, like a woman? ". There are, of course, the probability of deviations from the norm, but in 90% of cases there is no question of anything criminal or medical. Simple healthy interest of an absolutely healthy man.

Even those men who by their kind of activity (masseurs, doctors, fitness clubs trainers) deal with naked or almost naked female bodies, everyone is equally interested in porn as much as anyone else. A man looks at it easier than women. But the woman is all in suspicion, she thinks like this: "Yes, but we only have sex two or three times a week. Suddenly he part of his sexual arousal spends on these films? ". And if you go from the other side? The man, thanks to these reviews, supports his excitement at a higher level. Maybe without this sex would be at all once a week? And this does not mean that his wife does not excite him any more. Simply, his libido is designed so that he needs recharging. Ion receives it.

It happens that a man draws from a viewing porn a certain experience. He loves his wife and wants to be an ideal lover for her. This is a kind of complex, but the man has the right to do so. Do not immediately think that the problem is in you. Maybe it's just his psychological problem, which he wants to solve in this way. Are you all right in bed? Did it happen to you if you did not find out about his passion for porn? Then all is well and you need to look for problems on an equal footing.

What is it?

Often women are jealous of their men to view pornography. Like, there takerasotki, but I'm not so thin, not so skimpy, and there is all-perfect. " But understand: it's pointless to be jealous of pornography. After all, the husband will not tell you: "Darling, I'm going to pornography and will now live with it." With jealousy? Let him look, let him get excited, but then he will still go to the queen's matrimonial bed.

"I'm attracting him a lot, it attracts porn!" - Some wives are broken. Well, maybe so. Then this guide to action for a woman. If you love your husband, put at least some effort to make it pleasant. Do you know why most men love porn? A survey was conducted, during which it was found out that a man simply does not want to "sweat" about your mood (most often a bad one because of domestic hard labor), your emotional experiences, your pretermly long preludes, beautiful words, etc. The man thinks like this: "I'm excited, I need to relax. I'll watch porn for my own pleasure. I will not go to my wife right now, otherwise you'll wake her until you break it, until you understand what she wants today ... "That is, being close to your wife is sometimes not so simple for an ordinary man. A porn is simple - looked, turned off and forgot.

Yes, and one more important moment: do not try to compete with porn! In the sense that one must always remember that in the films professional, trained actors take part, there are combined shootings, the scenes are shot in several flaps, with breaks sometimes in a few hours. There is also a special practice of using duplicators. So you in the usual domestic conditions will never be able to reproduce the same scene with your husband. You must understand this and accept it as inevitable.

When it comes to pathology?

There is an attraction of a male porn reaches the border beyond which the diagnosis is already looming. If it's scary to leave children with him if he runs to the TV or computer at the first opportunity and again plunges into the world of porn films. If he notices anything around, does not eat, does not sleep and even appears at work because of this problem, then it's about mania, about pathological dependence.

In this case, this is the field of work of psychiatrists or psychotherapists. Only a doctor can explain what are the bases and causes of this painful obsession. Necessarily it is necessary to treat such person. But, you see, cases of such units. A wailing so-called "false" mania, that is, a woman only seems that her husband is possessed. Usually this happens if a man watches porn videos secretly, carefully covering his passions from his wife. Here the main thing to understand: a man (as well as women) should and can have his own personal space. If the husband does not dedicate his studies to you - he has a reason for this. If he sees your "shadowing", then this will not exactly help improve your family relations.

Discuss better than silent.

If you are offended by the fact that the husband was carried away by pornography - talk to him about it. Perhaps a man will tell you the reason for this, you together will find a solution, how to improve or just change something in your sex life. Maybe you too will get involved in this process. Joint viewing of porn can often color even the most infertile family life. You will understand that there is still much you can give each other.

If the woman refuses to point blankly to porn with you together, but at the same time assures you that everything suits him - let him look. Do not insist, do not climb into his personal space. The main thing is that he does not seek in these films for a change, but only distracts, resting from reality. And on this and he, and you, and any person have every right.