Typically, these families have one or more children. For any child, the divorce of parents is, above all, a huge stress, which has a great negative impact on the psychological state of children. The family is the basic unit of society. It is the family that teaches the child to love, to enjoy life, to know the world, to seek a place in society. Relations between parents are an example for children, on the example of parents, children learn to survive the difficult moments and in the future build their own relationship. Thus, the family gap can not but affect the psychological state of children after the parents' divorce.
Children very closely perceive the divorce of their parents. The worst thing is that most teenagers have a feeling of guilt, because they could not keep their parents' marriage. Perhaps this feeling will haunt the child for a long period after the parents' divorce.
Another equally dangerous feeling that contributes to an even more negative impact on the state of children after a divorce is a feeling of fear. The child starts to be afraid of loss of love of the parent who has left a family and, on the contrary, there is a certain bitterness on the second parent. Many children become more capricious, begin to demand increased attention. Some become subject to frequent illnesses and mood swings.
The state of children is also reflected in relationships with surrounding people. Children may exhibit attacks of aggression against teachers or their classmates. Many children have problems in school due to bad behavior and disobedience. According to experts, more negative impact on the child's psyche is observed among boys. Also, it is believed that the higher the age, the stronger the child survives the collapse of the family. Often "children are beaten by the hands", they try not to obey the rules and norms of behavior established in society, there is a feeling of anger and hatred towards the elder people or one of the parents. In rare cases, a teenager may have a propensity for suicide. It is possible that the child will feel shame for his family before his friends.
After the parents' divorce, one of the main fears of children is the appearance in the family of a new person who, in the opinion of the child, will try to make the latter the competition for the attention of the parent. Thus, there is a feeling of jealousy and uselessness to no one but himself. In this case, the child can run away from home, spend most of the time with his friends. Many children try to stay at night with their peers to try to feel a full-fledged family.
The example of parents can negatively affect the child's personal life. Many children from divorced families, as a rule, repeat the mistakes of their parents and also destroy their marriage. According to statistics, the age at which children from divorced families marry are significantly lower than those of children from ordinary families. This is explained by the desire to make up for the sense of a strong family that he was deprived of as a child. But the early age is precisely the main reason for the divorce in such children.
Of course, you can avoid the serious consequences of the state of children, if you try not to deprive the child of attention and love and follow certain advice of psychologists. So, the basic rules that will help the psychological state of children after a divorce:
- Maintain a warm atmosphere in the relationship with your child.
- If you decide to get a divorce, then the best thing is an honest and frank conversation with the child. I must tell him everything as is, so that in the future he does not accuse you of lying and unfair treatment. In this case, you can not tune the child against one of the parents.
- Give the child more attention. More often make it clear that they love him.
- Try to arrange regular meetings with the second parent, so that the child does not hold anger at him for leaving the family.
- As often as possible to go with the child in parks, museums, movies and other entertainment. This will help your child not to think about divorce and not to sink into sad thoughts. Thus, he will quickly get used to the divorce of his parents.
- Try not to change the conditions of life that are usual for the child for a while. (school, place of residence, friends)
- Never find out the relationship in front of the child that does not hurt the psyche. It is because of this that many children later have a feeling of aggression.
If you adhere to these simple rules, you can help your child much easier to cope with the difficult situation.