After all, it is the woman who possesses the instinct that allows her to hear her child during sleep and instantly wake up at night when the baby moves or cry. Contact with the mother - the most important for the baby, along with the care of the baby gets the first idea about the surrounding space, the mother's love forms the basic trust to the world, the belief that "everything will be fine." And what happens to the father, what is his role in the family in the first year of a child's life? In ancient times, the task of a man was limited solely to ensuring the survival of women and offspring, and the mother and the female half of the tribe took care of the baby.In modern society, when it is no longer necessary to hunt, and young families often live separately from kinship it's hard for her mother to cope with the burden she has on her part alone, she needs help and support from her husband.The role of parents in the life of children is an important aspect.
Soft transition
Often in this period between spouses there is a misunderstanding. The husband is deprived of his wife's attention, receiving in return a list of assignments and duties, the wife completely devotes himself to caring for the child. As a result, a new alignment of roles is formed in the family: the mother-child pair and the existing father in parallel. How is it most favorable to pass this stage, to make the appearance of the baby bring unity and mutual understanding to the family? Preparing for the moment of birth of the crumbs is better to start beforehand. Even during pregnancy, you can enroll in courses for young parents, where couples teach couples the basics of treating a child, tell what is most important for a newborn, advise how to organize life after the appearance of the baby. The courses not only provide the necessary knowledge, but also help future parents tune into a new stage in the relationship. The couple is gradually becoming aware that soon there will be a third, for which they alone will be responsible. Is it not possible to attend courses? You can read specialized literature together, watch movies, and talk with friends whose family already has a baby. The main thing is to understand that the first year of life determines the further development of the child, during this period his attitude to life is laid - future optimism, self-confidence is formed precisely from the diapers. Good parents and a friendly family do not become automatically - it needs to learn.
Trust each other
In order to become a good father, a man needs the support and trust of his wife. Many mothers do not involve the pope into communicating with the baby, leaving for them only trouble on the au pair. On the one hand, such a position is quite natural, because it is mother that is the most natural for the child, his natural continuation, the baby recognizes the mother by heartbeat, smell, breathing. On the other hand, by three months the child clearly distinguishes between "his" and "strangers", so it is desirable for the pope to get involved in communicating with the baby as soon as possible - to talk, abuse, and pat. It should be borne in mind that the parental instinct in men and women acts differently. If for women the process of birth triggers a maternal instinct, then for a man it is communication with a small, helpless being that becomes the main moment in the awareness of his paternity. Watching how the child grows and develops, how his confidence grows stronger, the man experiences a feeling of joy, the attachment that awakens in him, which becomes the basis of future relations, awakens in him.
What about fatigue?
No matter how long-awaited and desired the baby is, sooner or later any pair will have to face the problem of physical and emotional fatigue. A new and demanding man draws all his attention and strength, leaving no time for personal communication. Mom is overwhelmed with endless questions and doubts about the correctness of her actions, she often experiences, whether everything is all right with a crumb, is upset that there is not enough time to take care of herself. Fathers often feel abandoned, it seems to them that the wife has received a long-awaited "toy", and they have only one duty - she only does that she is nursing with the child, and reacts with reproaches and complaints to the proposal of intimacy.This is normal and natural The fact that a woman shows more interest in a child is set by nature - the maternal instinct suppresses other desires, and the lack of interest in her husband is also affected by fatigue that accumulates in the process of caring for the baby.Within 3-4 months after giving birth, the desire to sleep defeats all other needs.In this difficult situation it is important to understand that this is all temporary, very soon the marital relationship will regain sexuality and intimacy.Pattern, sensitivity to the partner and understanding that now the baby became the center of attention in the family, help to overcome this stage in the relationship.
Men sometimes try to pull the blanket over themselves, as if competing with the child for the attention of his wife. This behavior increases irritation and increases alienation in the pair. The most constructive position of the ally, who understands that at the moment the helpless child needs care more than others, and supports when the wife is attentive to the needs of the baby. It is important for a woman to find a balance between maternal and matrimonial duties. Try to save space for personal communication, for example, while walking with a child you can talk with your husband about his work at work, your mood, discuss plans for the future, express your gratitude for his support and understanding. Help her husband gain confidence in the treatment of the child, it will take a little time, and he will be able to take on some of the parental concerns, and you will have the opportunity to take care of yourself and regain interest in conjugal relationships.