In a family where there is both a father and a mother, each of the members performs its psychological function in the upbringing of the child, even a layman understands this. What happens when the father no longer gives his child the same attention as before?
If you believe dictionaries, then paternity is an attitude that is related to the fact of the child's origin from this man, and also the expression of concern for his life, upbringing, health and education.
The role of the father in family upbringing
The role of the man in the family is not unique in different religions and cultures and depends on such factors as the number of children and wives, the presence and the amount of contact with the wife and children, the degree of power over the children, how much the father is included in caring for the child, rituals associated with his upbringing, and, in addition, from participating in the protection and provision of the family with everything necessary.
It was considered undesirable when the father often contacts the child, openly expresses his feelings in most primitive societies, and even was condemned by etiquette. In the modern way of the family, specialists observe the rapprochement of fathers with children, however, this is accompanied by a drop in the authority of the male parent. The modern family is characterized by an increase in the percentage of fatherless children, the educational insolvency of the father, or the fact that the father is often absent from the family. Thus, the modern family becomes more matriarchal. In our opinion, the family bears losses from such a transformation.
We see no reason to convince you that the role of the father in the upbringing of the child and in the family as a whole is very great (after all, the father often leaves the family). A man in the family is already useful because, after a divorce, women no longer have time to think about the romantic side of relationships. our reality takes a huge amount of time and effort.
However, the trend says that since a divorce has become a frequent and simple matter that does not require special proceedings, many modern people have the impression that such a concept as a "father" has become a relic of the past, and in general, why does a child need it?
Such questions did not even arise in the minds of the members of the patriarchal family, and it was clear to everyone that the father was the head. The material and social position of the father determined the way of the family - how much time can the mother give to the children, do they need to work, is there an opportunity for children to get an education. Proceeding from this, the status of the father in the family has always been high enough: after all, he made all decisions related to the well-being of the family, defined the profession for children, dealt with issues of marriage and marriage, which at times were abolished or processed by a cunning female diplomacy. But the main thing is that the father determines the strategy, the direction of life and development of the family, and the woman - the tactics.
Modern women combine family and professional duties, so the role of men in the family has become more blurred, in contrast to earlier times. A man still brings income to the family, one of his weight is not so significant. And on this there is an impression that the father in the family is not only not very important, but also not really needed. In some psychological circles, it has become fashionable to define that a man is useful only for fertilization, but as a social unit it is useless.
No one doubts that there is a need for a man for procreation, and as an earner and protector for the family, but far from everyone knows the importance of father's influence on the upbringing of the child's personality. It is especially important to think about this when parents leave. Therefore, we emphasize that neither the stepfather, nor the grandfather, nor any other relative will replace the father, regardless of how the relationship will develop after the collapse of the family. A father may not participate in the family upbringing of a child, but he must be.
Have you ever heard from the child bizarre stories about hikes, fishing, various activities with your father, which never happened, but which the child wants to see in an indifferent parent? This can only mean one thing: in the unconscious soul of the child there is always a place for the father. It will be better for a child if the deputy does not take this place.
What are the spiritual and social needs of the baby, which he should receive from his father?
First of all, this is the need for love and protection. One of the sources of nervous breakdown in children is the lack of protection from the outside world. It's not a secret for anyone that children like to boast of their peers with force, the profession of their father, this also raises the status of the child before the one-year-olds. Children want everyone to see that he has protection, that he is not alone in this world. In cruel children's groups, the presence of the father gives a more significant status than simply the presence of the mother. The attitude of the child to the world and others depends on the amount of love received in the family.
Another need is authority. In the human society, as in the animal society, there is the instinct of the pack, as the famous ethologist Konrad Lorenz noted. This means that there must necessarily be a leader - the dominant authority. Despite the widespread opinion, children do not strive for independence and freedom, because they are not yet in a position to dispose of it for their own good; children have a need for someone to protect, cared for, take responsibility for their well-being. The strongest argument in children's arguments is "And my dad says!"
Among other things, the child should have a pattern of both "feminine" behavior and "courageous" behavior. This is their need. If you have a girl, she tries to be as feminine as mom. But the main criterion for the success of your daughter will be the evaluation of the father, because she looks at how the father treats the mother and how much attention she pays. This is the first important man in your daughter's life.
If a son is growing up in the family, he looks at his father and tries to be like him, and also realizes the importance of how good it is to be magnanimous and courageous, to take responsibility and to realize the importance and consequences of one's actions. Masculinity is to take on the most important and complex and to realize this. And at the same time the child watches his mother, the fact that a woman may be weak, take decisions of her father and not fight him for power, obey a man.
Another important role of the father in the upbringing of the child is that the father can learn the future himself in the father, the way he likes his mother, and when he looks at his mother, he also looks with his father's eyes. If a father leaves the family, the child will no longer have such a rich understanding of the world and himself, as it could be with the father. This can be compared to a kaleidoscope, in which there should be three mirrors, but one thing is missing and only two remain. It will still be amusing, but the patterns will be much easier and not so interesting.