All this together is usually also aggravated by sexual cooling. And men are completely inclined to panic, they only need to notice that sex has come to naught.
Spouses often say in such cases that they have lost the novelty in the relationship. Many people think that this is the end of family and marriage, after all, it will not be possible to restore relations. In fact, do not panic and make sudden movements. Just as you should not ignore this problem. If you are thinking about what to do, when the novelty in a relationship disappears, you should understand some important questions.
It is worthwhile to understand that cooling to each other in the couple is often accompanied by a suppressed or hypoactive sexual attraction. Simply put, you stop wanting each other, and conjugal sex begins to be associated with hard work or a difficult duty. A typical misconception of spouses in this situation is a desire to diversify sexual life through experiments in bed. Even worse, if someone connects to these experiments - a lover or mistress.
The correct and effective solution of a situation where novelty in a relationship is lost, usually contradicts common sense. It consists in the fact that in order to get rid of this problem of cooling in sex, we must go from the opposite. It is necessary not to experiment with new types of sex with a bored spouse, but to seek and solve problems of a higher order: emotional, spiritual, psychological, moral or problems related to all sorts of conflicts.
These problems are, as a rule, very individual. They masquerade as a typical quarrel over an uninjured trash can or an unoccupied bed. But in reality they are rarely similar in different families.
The accumulated irritation, which is often the cause of boredom in a marriage, can result from a number of situations. In our time, the role of women in society is increasingly the cause of this problem. If a woman suddenly attains a higher status than a man, it provokes her to show her authority and at home. Men in general are very sensitive to manipulation and react to them very aggressively. And if a man is inclined to avoid quarrels, conflicts and parsing of relations, he presses within himself this aggression, which becomes the reason for cooling to his wife. Instead of throwing out anger, the husband begins to avoid contact with his wife. There are awkward situations when a woman tries to seduce her husband, and receives a refusal. This is a very traumatic and undesirable situation for the development of relations in the family. So if you are thinking about what to do, when the novelty in a relationship disappears, first of all, think about the role of the wife in the family. It should not be leading regardless of material factors. And if the wife is not used to being led, she should think about sharing the spheres of influence and being leaders in solving various issues that do not overlap.
Often, the loss of power by a man in the family leads to the development of a hidden struggle for power. It can take and explicit forms, but often occurs in the form of silent protest or ignoring the requests and comments of his wife. This also weakens the sensual basis of the relationship and leads to a decline in emotional intimacy.
These problems with the mis-distribution of roles in the family only seem serious. In fact, at the level of common sense, any woman is able to change her style of behavior to a softer and feminine. And sometimes only this one can cause a rise in relations to a new height, stimulate sensuality and provoke a new "honeymoon".
There are more serious reasons for emotional cooling. These include, for example, unresolved conflicts with the parents of one of the spouses. In the relationship of the spouses, the examples of the parents' families of both generally play an important role. If the husband or wife has an unprocessed conflict with the mother or father, he can be transferred to the spouse and provoke scandals in which the spouse is not at fault. He is only associated with a vicious parent, and there are no real problems. For example, if a woman grew up in a family of an unfaithful man, she could be excessively jealous, unnecessarily controlling her husband. And if the husband is not inclined to betrayal, it only irritates him and provokes obvious or hidden family conflicts.
Whatever it was, in all situations, when the novelty in a relationship disappears, it is first of all necessary to look for the causes of obvious, and often even hidden, family conflicts. Working with these conflicts is your main key fortunately, if you want to keep a family.