Of course, this situation is very ticklish and unpleasant, especially when the relationship was long and serious. It is painful for a person to realize the fact that he is, in fact, your mistake. In addition, no one wants the guy to hold resentment and anger at you and the whole female sex because of the gap.
What should we do to protect the young man from the experience as much as possible?
To begin with, always be honest with him. True, no matter how bitter it was, it would never be worse than lying. If you feel that the relationship is coming to an end and soon you will leave the boy, you should not lie to him and yourself. Do not try to force yourself to love him again, or to stay close to pity. In such a situation, sooner or later you will still break off the relationship, but it will be much more difficult and more painful.
Therefore, try to think carefully and understand whether this is really the final. Perhaps you just have a crisis of relations or you quarreled. In this case, you need to understand whether this is a valid reason to put the point once and for all. Will not you regret it and try to get it back. Do not forget that by such a decision you will bring pain to a person, and it may happen that when you decide to return, he will not let you back into the heart and soul. That is why, you should not take such decisions hastily, in a fit of anger. If you and a guy quarreled, do not start collecting it or your things, shouting that everything is over and there is no more love. Try to calm down and wait a bit. When the anger subsides, you can think rationally and then decide how you still need to act.
Usually, when the girl left the guy, it is the representative of the stronger sex who endures the gap much harder than the girl herself. They are only seemingly so calm and cold-blooded. In fact, in their souls they are raging a sea of emotions that the guys can not express, because they consider it a weakness. Due to the fact that you have to constantly restrain yourself, young people accumulate negative and spend longer from the break with their beloved woman. That's why if your relationship is really serious, think a hundred times before making a decision, because it will be final and irrevocable.
So, if the decision is still made, and you decided to part, then we return to the question: when the girl left the guy - what now to say? Of course, you need to talk. Never end a relationship over the phone, and even more so, in the form of an e-mail or a message in contact. Thus, you show an elementary disrespect for the person. He gets the idea that he is so unimportant for you that you did not even bother to tell everything in his eyes. By the way, in fact, such an act speaks about your cowardice and inability to answer for your words and decisions before other people.
In addition, never arrange a relationship in public. You do not need to turn everything into a farce, in which friends, or even strangers, will participate. Firstly, one should never take out rubbish from a hut and give rise to gossip. And secondly, friends will try to intervene, they will start to make you happy and tell you what a good guy you are. This will lead either to a quarrel with all those present, or to reconciliation, which in fact turns out to be a common falsity.
Also, do not talk about your decision on the eve of some great holiday. Do not overshadow for a person this celebration for many years, and even for life.
Talk about what you do not need to be alone, in a calm environment. Explain to the young man what is the reason and why you want to do so. You do not need to say that it's all about you. This does not happen, because each of our actions is a reaction to the act of another person. Therefore, you are not satisfied with something in your boyfriend, so the relationship has come to an end. Just do not blame him for anything, just explain that everyone has their own understanding of the world and life, and, apparently, yours are too divergent. Do not allow scandals and clarify the relationship. Do not start to feel sorry for him and reassure him. Just calmly finish, wish all the best and leave.
Of course, you must understand that you really hurt. But, also, it is necessary to realize that this pain will pass, but life with an unloving person would turn out to be a real grief for him.
Do not try to remain friends and promise to maintain a relationship. If this is real, then only after a fairly long period of time, when the guy will calm down, stop being angry and try to get you back. If a young man tells you unpleasant things - ignore. In the end, he has the right, because now it hurts him, and the cause of this pain is you. Accordingly, the guy tries in this way to punish the offender.
There can be a reverse situation, when he starts asking for forgiveness, promising to change and saying that he will do everything to return you. If you definitely decided to break off the relationship, this behavior must also be treated inertly. Any your weakness and pity will lead to the fact that the young man will think: she pities me, it means that the feelings still did not pass, and I can fix everything. In this case, you will have to endure his attempts to renew everything, from which to him, and you will be more and more painful. Therefore, stop all attempts and leave as soon as possible.
After the break, do not see and answer the phone. First time, and to him, and to you it will be difficult, but, gradually, the feelings will start to fade and life will gradually be adjusted.
And the last: do not reproach yourself for stop loving a person. Our feelings and emotions are beyond the control of reason, so you are not to blame for not ordering the heart - what can we say now? Do not become a victim for life only because your boyfriend does not want to put up with parting? ..