Very often young parents are warned: they say, you are too pampered, teach your child to get arms. But really, can there be too much attention and tenderness? Is it possible to "spoil" the baby in this way?
There are many different views on the upbringing of children. Conditionally they can be divided into a system of constraints and a system for satisfying the needs of crumbs. The first type says that the baby should be restricted so that he is not used to getting everything he likes. The second is that one must satisfy all his needs, otherwise he will lose less love.
The truth, as usual, somewhere in the middle
The newborn is not yet able to spoil: he simply knows the world. Opens how the world reacts to his needs, how he treats him. Satisfying the requests of the crumbs at this stage, we let him know that the most important thing, the most necessary thing he has and will have. Restricting, we bring up fighting qualities, instill vigilance and alertness.
About how the approach to infancy for tenderness and love of a small child affects the formation of personality, according to researchers who studied the cultures of various Indian tribes. Thus, scientists who have long observed the life of these nationalities, note that the tradition to satisfy all the needs of the child is characteristic of those tribes that did not engage in active fighting, lived in harmony with nature. Restrictions in feeding, contact with the mother were characteristic of the more severe tribes that raised the soldiers.
What does not happen too much?
Accordingly, modern age psychology argues that satisfying the needs of a child in infancy helps grow an open, friendly and positive person who is confident and prefers to solve problems by seeking compromises. There is an opinion that such children in the future are better attuned to friendly communication, concern for relatives and ecology.
So what are the needs of kids, satisfying which, we explain to our baby that the world is benevolent, safe and open? What for chicken does not happen too much?
Mom's hands
In other words, physical contact with my mother. They say that the baby can be spoiled: if you keep on hand, the baby will become too demanding for tenderness and love for a small child. In reality, the baby needs to be close to his mother as much as he wants. For this there are such convenient devices as a sling and a backpack-kangaroo. A crumb is calm when the mother is near, he grows more balanced, when he does not worry that his mother can leave him. And you do not need to worry about that he never gets off his hands. Confident in himself and his mother, the baby is open to everything interesting, and he will become independent when he is ready for it.
Sling is strongly recommended for weakened babies, who are given a heavier period after birth. There is even a procedure for nursing preterm babies in a special carry, and not in the incubator. As soon as doctors cease to fear for the function of breathing the crumbs, it is passed on to the mother. Bodily contact and breastfeeding protect the crumb from hypothermia and illness, help strengthen its nervous system.
Physical contact helps children survive the trauma of separation from their mother, if after the birth they could not be together: the mother would go away from anesthesia, the baby would need to be nursed in the incubator or in the maternity home. For crumbs - this is a serious stress, and it is easiest for him to recover exactly when the mother is near.
Attention
Often give advice not to run to the baby on the first squeak, they say, he should get used to being alone, otherwise sooner or later he will start to manipulate his parents! In fact, the crumb is still too small to deliberately manipulate someone. He simply draws conclusions about what his or her actions lead to. It is known that children who were left with biological mothers immediately after birth are much less demanding and do not report slightest discomfort with the help of screaming. They look more relaxed and "comfortable." However, this convenience is accompanied by a reduced intellectual and physical development, as well as the development of the habit of not listening to the alarming signals of one's own psyche and body.Kids who receive a lot of attention quickly cease to "dramatize" if to them not just fit the first squeak, but also pay attention when they do not give alarm signals. It is in this situation that a child learns not to sob without a reason.
Joint sleep
The older generation does not understand the idea of sleeping with the baby. However, it is convenient in terms of night feeding, in addition, and mom, and the baby is calmer together. The fact that "the child will not be kicked out of bed after the bed" is a myth, when the baby gets strength, when he does not need to receive milk at night, he will quickly get used to being in his crib. The children do not mind separating from the mother, but when they are this is ready.
Breast milk
Until now, there is an opinion that feeding a child on demand is harmful. In fact, it is impossible to overfeed with breast milk, and the importance of mother's milk for the health of crumbs can not be overemphasized at all. Therefore, it makes sense to feed the baby on demand, knowing that in difficult moments he will eat more often, but less. For example, if the teeth break through, if a virus has been attacked, etc. But the mixture really can be too much. It is more caloric, and mothers do not always correctly mix the mixture, wanting to feed the crumb better. That's why often artificial persons suffer from excess weight.
Movement
Very agile babies sometimes inspire fears: parents, being afraid, that a crumb will get tired, try to limit it with diapers, curbs of a crib, etc. In fact, if a child is tired, he will fall asleep. Yes, before this children with an immature nervous system can yell, but nervous excitement here is not caused by physical activity, but on the contrary, the little one tries to "relieve" stress with the help of "physical culture". Anxious children can sometimes limit movement during sleep with a "sleep bag" with a zipper, at which the sleeves, if they are, are better first wrapped inside. In such a bag the crumb feels like in the womb: it is cozy, and it is easy calms down.
Chatter
If the child constantly hears the speech addressed to him, he is set to communicate, and his phonosemantic hearing (responsible for understanding speech) develops perfectly. You need to hear a speech in a crib. First, he perceives her melodic, then learns to distinguish between individual words or the whole phrase, then it will be easier for him to master the grammar and replenish his vocabulary.
Do not be afraid to give your baby too much love! Very soon, he will begin to gradually become separated from his mother and engage in interesting activities. Let by this moment he will be strong and confident in your communication.