You may be surprised, but while the domestic authorities are terribly concerned about the chastity of the nation, maybe you will even condemn us. But do not rush: it will be important things. For example, why some of us may have difficulty in bed. Agree, the topic is serious.
Shame and disgrace
Psychologists and sexologists continue to beat in the debate: until now, people are turning to specialists, who consider intimate life a thing not very necessary and, moreover, shameful.
Difficulties in the topic of sex - the consequences of ill-being in other spheres, which are most vividly manifested in this, energetically loaded. By the way, shame and disgust may well be present here. Even great, if the shame, moreover, and tolerable, the topic of something intimate. As the opposite of unlimited openness, like embarrassment, let it be. But if the shame is toxic!
Conversation in the stream
The most important thing is to start talking with a partner. Inform your friend about your desires and limitations, because no one can read the meaning of another. Do not, of course, do it right in bed, but if you couple, you have a lot of other time. It's important to be serious: humor and sex are incompatible things.
Time of questions
But it's easy to say "talk to him about sex," so everyone can. And if you are not accepted? And if not a partner is not the most emancipated in the world of a person?
1. Body
The culture of the corporeal begins to develop deeply in childhood. Babes, because of their underdevelopment, have the right not to be guided in their bodies. They only study it with the help of an adult and do not always know where to go for activity: eating, sleeping, running is not clear, and it does not always work out. Healthy parents show the connection of the excitement and action to satisfy it. If I want to eat - I'm going to eat, if I want to sleep - I'm going to sleep, and not vice versa.
Sometimes parents are happy that the kid of two or three years "correctly" behaves: quiet, does not run, he "understands" everything. Such a child grows without interest, without joy and has little opportunity to study himself. A person is, but his body does not feel like it. The grown-up "good children" say that they do not feel anything: no tension, no relaxation, sometimes only pain and remind that the body is. Sex in this case may not be necessary, unpleasant, on the contrary, become super-significant, compensation for other absent physical joys.
2. Feelings
Without emotional development, one can not experience a satisfaction with life. Feelings - not overvalue, but only signals on the way to satisfy the needs. The role of the adult is to help detoyamuznavat these signals and wait for the opportunity to fulfill the desire. Most of us have some number of forbidden feelings, then some needs may not be recognized, and, of course, sexual ones as well.
In every family, there are forbidden feelings. Sometimes joy, tenderness, sometimes anger, sadness, fear.
3. Thinking
Here are formed the notion that we have an all-sex life, and what not. The words of the parents: how can you, as you can not help the music quickly get used to reality. But the earlier the rules arise, the more difficult it is to digest the child's psyche. A small child can not be critical to the statements of adults, he is only able to obey or resist. It is important that what the adults say is justified and serves the safety of the child. All the rest is redundant and will shape his attitude, in and out of sex, automatically and inexplicably. So, if the baby hears that everything that is concerned with intimate organs is dirty, he will not check for a long time, but he will rely on this statement in adult life, without even knowing where he came from.
Sexual identity
It is important, what ideas about his gender identity has a person. Who am I? A man or a woman who my partner looks like? Now they talk about muscular women, about men like "bab." Sometimes such statements arise because a person can hardly accept an affinity partner depending on gender. A difference in physiology exists, but it is much less than sometimes claims for behavior, for example , men: I want my husband to guess my desires, prepare dinner, walk with the child.
Denial is one of the popular psychological protections used when a person simply does not know the ways of solving. And, accordingly, the more global internal problems - the greater the denial of sex and even prohibitions.
If you know who you are, what you want from a person of the opposite sex and how to agree on this, then sexual relations have a lot of chances to form.
5. Experience
The family is the first sexual experience that a child sees. Can Dad tell the boy that he is sleeping with his mother? How open is the sexual life of parents closed? The time when sex with a partner is absent, and excitement is - an important point. Here, too much taboo, and excessive frankness is harmful. It is important that there is a sex life and she has some rules that children can know.
The second experience is obtained in educational institutions. There are two dangers here. The more children in one class, the higher the excitement (including the sexual one). Children can cope with it, as they are able and how the pedagogues will allow. And those, unfortunately, do not always turn out on top, including sometimes due to their own problems in the intimate sphere. The second point: the girls a little faster develop than boys. Such asynchrony in the classroom can contribute to the fact that the boys begin to feel flawed and live with this sensation for life.
6. Relationships
It happens that sex can become a regulator of family relationships, manipulation. Sex as a physical action can generally substitute for relationships, intimacy, dialogue. When instead of the opportunity to talk about what is unsettling, partners relieve tension in bed, there is a high probability that the sexual intimacy will not suit them. Children in families where the sexual life of parents is complex, often as if substituting a partner. As mothers say: "the child drove her husband out of bed." While the parents are sorting out who is to blame and what to do, (sometimes for years), children get experience of strange relationships when they can be third in bed, a breakaway in the family.
7. Creativity
On how much a person is creatively active, inclined to the imagination, his sex life can be satisfactory or not. The difficulty is that the ability to express yourself is sometimes suppressed deeply in childhood. Nowadays there are often children who "do not know how to play." But this is an important concept where a child in free form lives a lot of what is needed in adult life. , it is possible to deprive them at the same time and the opportunity to receive sexual experience in a safe manner.Often, adults call creativity a frivolous occupation, and then sex for them can be a waste of time.
Nock on the nose: all these factors are interrelated. Therefore, if the chances have realized that in some of them you are slightly sagging, it's time to get yourself pumped. With a partner or a psychologist - choose you.