Why do some women tend to be beautiful, while others do not?

Leaving the house, we send a letter to the world about yourself, in which we ask you to treat us in one way or another. The message is our body, clothes, face and expression. Many women at the same time carefully guide the marafet, carefully select clothes, trying to look in the eyes of others as attractive as possible (sometimes, obviously overdoing with the methods of "guiding beauty"). Others, on the contrary, put on a 10-year-old stained jeans and a stretched sweater, not hesitating to appear before people with not very clean hair and without a hint of make-up. What do we want to say about ourselves in this way? In Japan, queues for dentists: women are asking doctors to make them a so-called children's smile, in which the fangs touchingly, but not very elegantly, go forward. The resemblance to a teenage teenager costs about four hundred dollars, but after payment you can be sure - success for men is guaranteed. It so happened: because of the love of the anime genre, girls, similar to teenagers, attracted male attention. Who would have guessed that even teeth, almost always considered one of the signs of a beautiful woman, will go out of fashion?

But, perhaps, the fact is that Japanese girls are not after beauty. According to many psychologists, beauty and touching are in no way connected, moreover, are at different poles. Touching - it's cute, cute, nice, cozy. All this is more likely associated with children. Beauty is determined by predation, aggressiveness, sexuality, manners, size and tags of fashion brands. And this is already an adult world.

Of course, it is. But the touchingness of Japanese women, created with the help of dentists, is still mixed with the share of predation and cunning: the real goal of these girls is not to look good, but to attract and attract.

Outside of Japan, the fashion for the uneven aftertaste has not yet emerged (although it is impossible to renounce it), and in other territories the traditional beauty for these places is ruled: somewhere - a thin waist and high chest, somewhere - impossible wide hips and cellulite, somewhere - a ring in the lower lip. And the more beautiful the woman, the better she, in theory, should live: beauty is often used as an instrument, like a key that opens the door to a magical land. It's not just about a lot of admirers and profitable marriage - sociological studies confirm that they want to make friends or start a romance with beautiful people, they are more likely to be hired, they forgive much.

We use our beauty as a tool, we make sure that it is in order: we select clothes that go to us, we color the roots of hair, play sports and sit on a diet in order to preserve the elegant proportions of the figure. However, you can continually polish and sharpen the tool until it breaks, or you can, on the contrary, put it in a corner and watch it indifferently as it becomes covered with dust.

Bust with changes
Change your appearance now is not difficult, there would be money. And it turns out that for a distant friend to do liposuction - almost as simple as brushing your teeth. Social networks are buzzing, discussing the conversation of two secular ladies described in one article, which funnyly shared the details of the work of a Swiss plastic surgeon and believed that it was indecent to look older than 27, even if you were already 58. There is nothing ridiculous here, though: there are future medical problems. Fans of the "yellow" publications are well aware of the suffering of our actresses and singers who have organized themselves a new youth with a scalpel: faces that look like frozen masks, persistently pulling back a smile, eyelids that after a few blepharopoies refuse to completely close, causing the eyes to dry and all the time to use moisturizing drops ... For what such torment?

All in order to stop the time. Stuck in youth. Do not live, not feel a big piece of life, saturated with other joys, not very similar to the youth. In order to experience and experience these joys of the second half of life, one must have wisdom, subtlety, sensitivity and great ability to feel. Young people feel sharp, but those who are struggling to keep themselves at the turn of youth, lose this ability. Soulful after bodily, when the face begins to resemble a mask - after plastics, botox and simply because strong emotions provoke the appearance of wrinkles.

Botox and emotions are connected. These injections people do, trying to hide the consequences of manifesting their emotions, as if to erase them from life. Some studies suggest that botox not only limits the ability to express emotions, but also affects their ability to test. And a man trying his best not to feel himself and not feel anything at all, is following the wrong path.

Behind an endless series of plastic surgery is the fear of old age and death - instead of recognizing it or at least thinking about it, women hope to live forever, among fans and carnivals, which never subsides. And in order not to get lost in it, you must always remain young.

Excessive fascination with plastic surgery, connected not with a desire to correct what nature originally created (for example, to straighten a bumpkin on the nose or make the ears of the ears usual), but with an attempt to make yourself an ideal body and an impeccable face, it can also be a response to parents who are too many wanted from their child, dreaming that his beauty and skills would bring them universal love and respect.

Parents can broadcast an opinion to be ideal, and these expectations are first perceived in relation to the body, appearance, and only then spread to all spheres of human life. So they try to solve their problems, make personal fantasies a reality, but it affects the child. When a girl grows up, she suffers all her life from her inferiority, from the inability to live up to the ideal. As a consequence, attempts to improve oneself, first of all, on a physical level, by resorting to numerous plastic operations, are most probable.

Less body
In the battle for beauty there are also opponents - those who do not watch themselves. When the desire to be attractive disappears, it can mean that at the moment we do not want to do anything at all - neither build relationships, nor support them, nor flirt, change anything in our lives, or achieve success. It happens when a person "loses" himself or does not have moral and physical strength. All energy goes to something else, for example, to solve the problems of child-parent relations or female-male relationships. Sometimes this happens in pairs, where a complete merger of partners takes place. At the same time one of them can completely dissolve in the other and live his life for himself, forgetting about himself, ceasing to be aware of his own needs. Negative experience of relations with men, too, can lead to the fact that the woman with her appearance repels those who wish to communicate with her.

Apathy, indifference to one's appearance, as well as to everything else, can be signs of depression or a beginning illness. After treatment, interest in himself returns. But there are other cases when a woman as if does not allow herself to be beautiful, assuring herself and others that she likes only dark and baggy, and that unwashed hair and fingernails of different lengths is normal. Such a woman as if informs: "Do not look at me! And if you look, then turn away!" She can hide and for severity, arguing that one should love the soul, not the body, and behind the cheerful bravado writing bikes like: "A decent woman will not go out with a stale manicure." An ideal lady has a stale manicure. Aunt's hands are not dirty - and all right! " And there will always be like-minded people who will support her words with an approving nod or a dozen other likes.

Sources of dislike for their appearance, not related to the temporary state of our body or mood, are hiding in childhood. The eyes of the mother are the first mirror in which the child can see himself and read that he is understood and loved as he is, with all the shortcomings and flaws. This is how the positive image of oneself is formed. If the girl had a conflict with her mother, accepting her femininity would be complicated. For example, one's own beauty and success can be perceived by a woman as a triumph over the mother, which entails either an imaginary punishment on her part or an unbearable feeling of guilt for her overthrow.

We give a signal
What kind of corporal message do we give to the world, what do we want from it? Putting on shoes with heels and a short skirt, we plan to attract the attention of men, leaving the house in a shapeless sweater, trying to hide from other people's sights. At the same time, we can be very surprised if no one reacts to either the skirt or the red lipstick: the unwillingness to be beautiful sometimes turns out to be too deep in us, remains unconscious, and we sincerely wonder why the instrument of our beauty does not work - it is refined as it should, it is smeared as it is necessary. So what's the deal?

The image that we create with a conscious choice of clothes, shoes, handbags and other accessories is unconsciously addressed to each other, and talks about how a person wants to look in the eyes of others. And the manifestations of corporality - poses, gestures, facial expressions, movements - convey information about us more truthfully to others because they are more difficult to control. For example, the area of ​​the lips is absolutely not subject to man. That is, even deciding "to be beautiful" and applying some effort to it, will not be able to attract attention without an inner spirit. And even if we seem to ourselves in the mirror simply beautiful - a charm, not a girl! - those who see us in elegant attire and with careful make-up, will be able to appreciate our taste, but still hardly understand, mentally formulated the reason: "Something in it repels." So their unconscious will read ours, in which too a strong desire for relationships and revenge for someone who left us, and anger, and a ban on relations, can hide. Because acquaintance is unlikely to take place, except that a person for this dating has his own reasons, also not particularly related to sympathy, friendship and love.

To whom, in fact, do we address our signals, our desire to be beautiful? Let's replace the abstract concept of "the world", where a certain message is addressed, by the concrete person to whom we want to tell something. First of all, it is a story of inner emotions and experiences transmitted by the body language known to every person from birth. The first experience of such communication we get in early childhood, and the signals sent to the world in adulthood are not very different from those that the child sends to the mother: "It hurts, I'm scared, I feel unnecessary" or "I'm happy, I love , I am in harmony with myself and the world. "

Like a baby, in return we expect a response, we want to be understood and heard. In a sense, it is the search for absolute, valueless love, which, at least at first sight, is problematic to meet in the appraisal world.

You can, of course, challenge this world by stopping cleaning shoes and secretly hoping that the beautiful prince will already see our spiritual wealth. But this is a big risk: it's all the same, when the hands are clean, and the manicure is OK, and in the eyes it does not burn: "Now you will provide my eternal youth, no matter how long it lasts." The princes, under whatever guises they were hiding, are also people. They love it when it's beautiful. And do not always remember the wise phrase of Leo Tolstoy: "It's amazing what a complete illusion is that beauty is good."