How much has been written about the psychology of relations between a woman and a man: the sea of literature, the ocean of councils, and the problem of constructing relations between the sexes remains relevant. Why is it so difficult for us to find a common language with the opposite sex? How can we understand each other, and even more importantly, accept what we are and not try to remodel and rebuild our partner? Being yourself is a luxury not available to many. In this article, I want to touch on another aspect of the relationship between man and woman - the fear of being themselves.
After all, it happens, so the sweet-buketny period begins, that is, the period of boyfriend's courting a girl or vice versa (and this also happens). We are delighted with our partner: and everything in him is like, and he is so wonderful and good, well, just an ideal man or woman without any flaws. But we should start a joint life, having entered into a legal marriage, as it begins .... "I did not think you were ...", "and I did not know that you were ...".
It seems that during the meetings and meetings we just get blind, and our partner appears before us in some kind of perfectly ideal light, we do not notice its minuses, we see only advantages and all advantages.
And all this happens for two reasons: the first is of course a love that dazzles, deprives the mind and makes the partner in our eyes ideal, but the second reason is cowardice. Yes, yes, it's cowardice. We want to like each other so much that we are simply afraid to show our partner all the aspects of our nature, in which, like any normal person, there is both good and bad. Namely, we try to hide the negative sides from our second half. The miser for the time of the candy-bouquet period become generous, the traitors are devotees, the lazy ones are active and industrious, the drunkards are sober, and the liars are very honest and truthful, etc. This list can be continued indefinitely.
Time passes. Family days are becoming common, and there is no point in hiding from each other. This is where we begin to get to know each other in the full sense of the word, and our shortcomings begin to crawl out like a devil out of a snuffbox. And where are they, they ask, all this time? Yes they were, were, we simply hid them very diligently, they were afraid to seem imperfect before the partner, in a word, they were cowardly. And because of this our cowardice then there are problems in the family life. Because of her, then there are so many divorces, broken fates, broken hearts, disappointments, incomplete families. It's only because it's so hard for us sometimes to accept a person as he is. After all, before that we did not see what it really is, and now, after ceasing to hide, he just became himself. And often it is quite difficult to accept. It seems to us that this dissimilarity of characters, or maybe our love was so fragile, that it could not withstand the test by life. There are quarrels, scandals and, as a rule, on trifles, because of any trifles, and all this does not lead up to good, but quite the contrary, leads to parting and divorce. Of course, I can not argue that this happens in all families, but as my experience of life observation has shown, this happens quite often. And this is sad statistics.
How can you avoid this kind of development? All ingenious is simple. Be yourself from the beginning. Stop being cunning before your partner and, first of all, before yourself, do not be afraid of not being accepted. After all, there are no ideal people in the world. All of us with our cockroaches in my head. And our claims to each other - the worst enemy of any relationship, especially the relationship of love.
Breaking - it's much easier than building, and building strong relationships often takes years. Or maybe it would not have been so long if we had not been afraid from the very beginning to be what we are - by ourselves ?!