The age difference between children from two years to four

As a rule, the birth of the first child is not planned. Therefore, future parents are preparing for this event spontaneously. But if the family is talking about the second child, then this is taken more seriously. After all, the most important question arises - what is the difference between children should be?


Two children are a big responsibility. Therefore, if you are planning to have a second child, we recommend that you read this article. Of course, all families are individual, that's why there can not be a universal council about the difference in age. You yourself will have to make a decision, and we'll just tell you what to expect in this or that case.

The difference is about two years

Mom, who gave birth to the second baby right after the first, the surrounding cause ambiguous emotions. Someone looks with admiration and thinks how lucky that she "quickly shot", and someone on the contrary, believes that she has taken on a heavy burden. So why wait for a family in which the difference between children is not more than two years?

Positive sides

One of the main advantages is that you do not have to experience the infancy of the kids twice, because it will take place simultaneously. And after a while you can become a young mother of two independent children. So, you will have more time for yourself, career, wife. And your contemporaries, at this time, will be surrounded by bottles and pampers.

Another advantage is that you and your body will not have to experience severe stress twice. Every woman knows that pregnancy is a tremendous stress not only for the body, but for the psyche. With the onset of a second pregnancy, a woman will be ready for what was happening to her recently: toxicosis, constant visits to the toilet, clumsiness, puffiness and so on. So, all this for the second time will be taken for granted.

Many believe that all the skills for caring for the baby remain for life, and if necessary, you can easily use them at any time. But this is not so. Part of the skills is very quickly lost. And if the difference between the kids is small, then you do not have to learn everything again.

Even psychologists argue that the small age difference between children affects positively all members of the family. The older child will not be jealous of the younger, and parents will not have to bother about it.

In addition to the foregoing, we can not fail to mention the material side. After all, after the first baby there is a stroller, a cot, clothes, toys, bottles, rattles and other small things that have not lost their appearance, have not gone out of fashion and have not been distributed to acquaintances. At first glance this may seem like a trifle, but if you estimate the costs for all this, the amount will be very decent.

Today there are very few free sections and circles where children can go. Most often you have to give a lot of money for giving your child on a swim, dancing, drawing and so on. Parents who have several children are much easier in this regard. After all, most mugs make discounts for brothers and sisters. In addition, the tutor can deal with two children at once. After all, the program will not differ too much, and the same circles will be of interest to both kids.

Negative sides

However, there are no only positive sides. There are always the opposite. For example, the physical condition of the mother. After all, during pregnancy, the body gives all its internal resources. And after the birth of the baby, he needs time to recover: to normalize the hormonal background, to replenish vitamins, minerals and so on. Doctors recommend planning a second pregnancy not earlier than two years after the first.

Not only does the physiological state require recovery. This also applies to the psychological. A small baby requires a lot of attention, care and full dedication. To this everything is added a lot of other troubles: sleepless nights, full days of hassle and the like. But nature has taken care of this, and the woman has an internal reserve that helps her to cope with everything. But if the second child appears immediately after the first, then the tension will increase, and without the help of relatives can not cope.

And most often with this very help there are serious problems. Of course, grandparents will immediately respond and help, but the same can not be said of a happy father. We women want our beloved, just like us, to succeed: work, pay attention to us and the baby. But very often we forget that men are not as hardy as us. And during this period, they also have a hard time. After all, they get tired, and not only physically, but also psychologically. In addition, during this period, as a rule, intimate life leaves much to be desired. This we do not want to even think about sex, and give it to men, and regularly. Against this background, scandals and excessive irritation can arise, which will only inflame the situation.

The difference in age from two to four years

This age difference is the most common. In addition, many parents consider it optimal. But is it? Let's figure it out.

Positive sides

One of the main advantages in such a difference between children is that during this time the body of a woman has time to fully recover. Therefore, the occurrence of any problems during the second pregnancy is minimal. Especially if the first baby did not appear as easily as we would like. For example, through caesarean section or during the first delivery there was a rupture of the perineum.

In addition, a woman can relax from sleepless nights, breastfeeding. Typical cares for a typical mummy are left behind, and the new mother takes the new mom with a new strength and a stronger nervous system.

Again, it is necessary to mention the skills for caring for the newborn and the baby. They still remain, and you will not lose your head when the time comes to bathe the crumbs. You will know why the baby cries and what he needs. After all, you are already unlikely to make mistakes in the care of the second baby.

Children with such a difference can easily find a common language. They will play together, as their interests will not differ significantly. The first kid, who is older, will be able to stay without your close supervision. He will be able to watch cartoons or paint, while you feed or bathe the second crumb. And when the crumb falls asleep, you will have time for the eldest.

Negative sides

There are not so many negative sides. In the first place is the morale of women. After all, she only had the opportunity to give herself a little time and relax, and then all at once - diapers, feeding, nights without sleep. Of course, everything is individual here: for one woman, such troubles are only a joy, but for another it is a burden.

In addition, the question of childish jealousy is very acute. It is at this age that this problem occurs. And, unfortunately, very often jealousy is almost uncontrollable. Both parents will have to make a lot of efforts to smooth out all the sharp angles between the kids. Perhaps even need the help of a psychologist. Otherwise, everything can end up because the elder will offend the younger, and mom and dad will start to swear with each other. And such a heated atmosphere can continue until the children grow up.

By the way, it should be taken into account that rivalry is very developed between brothers and sisters. And it lasts a lifetime. And in this case it is not a question of common competition, which is beneficial to both, it means that one child will "put the wheels in the wheel" to another, so that the parents are convinced that he is the best. Of course, this does not always happen, but this possibility must be taken into account.

In addition to all this, such a difference in age between children is not very favorable for a woman's career. Decent leave "does not like" to any boss. And what if the second follows right after the first one? Yes, and the qualification of a woman suffers. Therefore, it is worth thinking about what is more important for you: family or career.