Conflicts between our friends are a nuisance thing. That's why we always want to help understand the situation, somehow smooth things down and so on. But often it happens that our help turns against ourselves in the form of offenses of our friends and a lack of understanding on their part. How is it better to act and on whose side to become, if your friends quarrel?
Boy and girl
First of all, we will talk about the situation in which it is very unfavorable to get into a conflict. This is the case, when not just your friends, but those who are a couple. Remember one thing: if you did not want to help much, no matter how right you were, but in the end, you just get guilty. Lovers can talk to each other a lot of misfortunes, threatening parting, but they always forgive each other much easier than other people. Therefore, if you see that the guys are quarreling, it's best to just move away from the situation. Even in the case when one of them, or even begranna directly ask for help - do not climb. Because you will necessarily remain vexed either before one of them or before both. Remember that, as though in detail, people did not tell you about their relationship, we all love to somewhere giperbolizirovat, and somewhere to minimize. Therefore, if it seems to you that you find out the whole situation, as if they were constantly present at her, then on the verge of hearing, your judgments are very erroneous. Often, they do not even know themselves and do not understand everything. The guy judges from his point of view, the girl sees everything, guided by her logic. Accordingly, each of them presents the whole story in its own way. And you draw conclusions from their views, and not from the real situation. So always try to get away from the conflicts of a loving couple. An exception can only be a situation where someone is clearly beginning to cross the border and comes to insults and assault. In this case, you simply can stop what is happening, say that a person ceases to be tactful, but in no case try to understand the situation and become a leader.
The best friend and just a friend
It happens that your closest friend and just a friend, who you love very much, quarrel with each other, but still not very much. In this case, many begin to be guided by the fact that it is always necessary to choose the side of the best friend, because it is closer. Prichemamabolitelno it does not matter, he is right or not. In such a situation, do not go after the emotions. Yes, of course, love your best friend and he is a good person, but this does not mean that he can not be wrong. We are all living people, not angels. Therefore, a person can completely make a mistake, and if you support him, he does not realize the error and will continue to act in the same spirit. Such indulgence leads to the fact that the best friend begins to selfishly treat you. Therefore, even if you understand that choosing a party can lead to a quarrel with a best friend, still try to act in accordance with conscience. If you can not do this, then do not try to resolve the conflict and choose the neutral side. Remember that normal, adequate people will always understand and accept your neutrality. But if a person begins to insist that you have to agree with him, try to whistle friendship and so on, then think carefully about whether you need such a friend in general and whether you correctly assess his qualities. People who do not know how to act in justice often simply can not be friends normally. In fact, their friendship is reduced to achieving certain selfish goals, which they skillfully hide.
The only exception in this case may be a situation where you understand that by side with the one who is right, you, roughly speaking, will negatively affect the psyche of the second person. That is, it is a question of that, for example, your friends argue about something, and you understand that the truth is very painful for someone who does not want to hear it. If you also become cautious of who is right, the second person will simply break down. It's best to just stop the argument and invite everyone to stay with me. But if people clearly do not want to calm down, then you can be on the side of someone who is too difficult to cope with the truth. But over time, try to explain to him carefully that he is wrong. Just do it alone and in a relaxed environment, constantly finding various mitigating factors for the situation. Then he will take things much more calmly and you can bring to him something that your mutual friend could not explain in the heat of a quarrel.
If you know the man badly
There is a situation when a new person appears in the company and then a quarrel with one of your old friends happens to him. In this case, you must first understand who is quarreling with whom. If a person who knows him longer than you do, do not choose anybody. The fact is that the first impressions of a person can be different because of what a person really is. Therefore, if people have a conflict, it's best not to try to understand the situation. Often people in any quarrels begin to recall the past of which the particular one is their opinion and you will never be able to figure out who is right and who is guilty, as past conflicts were for a long time, everyone took it and rethought them in their own way, and even if they explain everything to you, their explanations will be far from the truth.
The second case is when your new friend quarrels with a man who knows him as much as you do. In this case, you must act in the most fair way. You do not ever need to start poking somewhere out of pity, because you know a person longer and so on. Remember that in a quarrel two of the third is better not to ever meet. But if you feel and understand that the situation needs to be helped to solve, topo the maximum to understand the situation and not go on about the feelings. Some people just need an arbiter to resolve their conflicts. But if you take on this role, then you must adequately assess the situation and not succumb to feelings and emotions. You have to listen to people, give each of them an opinion and just help to hear each other. You can get on the side of a person, only being absolutely sure that he is right. And then, you should not speak out sharply and blame the opponent in some way. Remember that you want to strangle the conflict, and not to kindle it more. If you are on someone's side, before doing this, a hundred times think what the consequences of this will be and whether your behavior will become a help for the people, or else it will lead to the situation becoming worse and eventually quarreling everyone.