Each of us had to face all kinds of worldly adversity, when life seems to be a rope stretched over the precipice, and we look like rookie beginners, insecure and defenseless. We want to grab at least a straw, just to feel under the feet of solid soil and get rid of this hideous sense of vulnerability. Unfortunately, no one is immune from such stresses. And if so, then we must learn how to behave in a crisis situation ...
Although the troubles of all are different, psychologists believe that, adhering to a certain tactic of behavior, you can restore mental equilibrium at any, even the greatest trouble. And then completely turn what happened to your advantage!
It turns out that not everything is so bad, even though you suffered a catastrophe of local significance. According to psychologists, it is sometimes useful to feel unsettled. Because this state can induce you to take decisive action, and you will change your destiny for the better. After all, when it seems to you that everything is flying around in a somersault, you willy-nilly begin to ponder over why this is happening. So, you get a great chance not only to analyze the situation, but also to find out the way out, turn your life into another, more profitable side for you. The main thing is to believe that failures can temper, how destructive fire temperes steel, and that you can become stronger and wiser as a result. And although the failure of failure is different, one must try to come out with honor.
FROM NEIGHBORHOOD NEVER BE DETACHED
One of the patients told at a psychologist's reception that on one very fine day, she felt worse than ever. The woman was riding in a crowded bus and realized that she could not stand it now and burst into tears if one of the passengers once again pushed her elbow or stepped on her leg. And it was because of what! First, she called her lover and said that he rested alone, because his friends were invited to a cruise. So, it is necessary to bury the bright dreams of a joint holiday. In the hope of sympathy, the poor woman phoned her sister and heard a sobbing in return - she fell under the contraction and from tomorrow she remained without any means of livelihood. But the desire to get support has not faded and so the heroine of our history called her friend. And what did she hear in response? The girlfriend just took her mother to the hospital, and the prognosis is very unfavorable. In short, the mood - just right to hang. And this was not surprising.
The troubles that lead us into this state can be very different. One category is associated with emotional turmoil. They are caused, as a rule, by a violation of stable relationships or habitual position in society: this includes divorce, death of a loved one, loss of work. Other troubles arise when we, by the will of others, find ourselves in unpleasant situations. For example, you got a purse with a salary on your bus, your husband stole the money saved on the farm, and in addition neighbors squeezed your apartment from above ... But what a crisis situation there is in life! That's when you begin to feel weak, vulnerable, defenseless, in a word - an orange without a peel, and only. This is normal, psychologists say, that you experience such feelings when faced with troubles.
But usually harmony in our soul after such stresses is sooner or later restored. But if the exhausting feeling that you are a snail left without a house, you have not been going for a long time - it means it's time to reflect: what exactly is in your life not so and how to behave so that the situation changes for the better? And then, directly, by force of will, force yourself to act.
Believe me, you will not regret it. First, you really will get better. And secondly, keep in mind that a prolonged emotional vulnerability is destructive for the individual. It generates not only a harmful self-pity, but also doubts about one's own strengths, as well as a tendency to blame only mortal sins for oneself.
Therefore, be sure to try to get out of unfavorable circumstances as soon as possible and do it wisely. We hope that the advice of psychologists will be useful to you in practice.
GUIDE TO ACTION
1. Believe in yourself
Many beautiful ladies feel bitter disappointment when they leave their beloved men. And when they go to their friends, it becomes a double tragedy, because one thing is hard to survive betrayal, and just two - and even more so. But even if the beloved man has gone "to nowhere," daylight still fades.
Many people try to get distracted and go into work. But how to be at night, when you are left alone with your grief? According to psychologists, at such moments it seems to many that all their achievements and successes have been crossed out once and for all. Moreover: very often such women instead of close communication with close people who are able to assess their solvency and who remember their past success, choose solitude, close in four walls and sit, staring at one point, experiencing their misfortune again and again.
If you are rejected and therefore you feel insecure and defenseless, focus on your strengths. Maybe you have good taste and you know how to sew or knit? Perhaps you are preparing such dishes, what language will you swallow? And maybe, at your firm without you, just like without hands? Yes little of what their valuable qualities we ourselves put aside and call for them in everyday vanity!
Be good to yourself. Rummage in the shower and in your head, and as a result, make a list of your own pluses. On happy days, we do not have time to do this, but minutes of disappointment are the most suitable time for this. And then you will inevitably come to the realization that you are not bad and therefore you were abandoned, and he is bad and you deserve better.
2. Face the truth
Very often we are overwhelmed by a sense of insecurity and insecurity when something happens at work. And because people are most afraid of uncertainty, then any alarming rumors about coming changes cause them to worry too much. And the threat of worsening financial situation also hangs like a sword of Damocles.
In this situation, in no case be like an ostrich, who in moments of danger buries his head in the sand and creates an illusion of security. By pretending that nothing has happened or letting things go by themselves, we thereby only reinforce an unpleasant and painful sense of vulnerability.
Of course, one can live by the principle "where the curve will take out": there are cases when everything was formed by itself. But the situation can develop for the worse, and time for taking measures, it happens, is already lost. Therefore, as soon as you begin to realize that the soil is getting out from under your feet - take a ponder over the plan of action. For example, look for another job, change qualifications, finally, start saving money for a rainy day. Do something, just do not do nothing! Otherwise, you will remain forever a slave to this destructive feeling of your own insecurity.
3. Do not be shy about your feelings
In order to reverse the temporary insecurity and defenselessness, one must adhere to one rule. Namely: to be honest in assessing your condition. Especially before myself. Paradoxically this sounds, but again you can gain control over your own thoughts and feelings only after honest and frank recognition that you have temporarily lost this control.
True, to admit to ourselves, we are still at the very least, but we find strength. But to show their shaky emotional state to others is often shy. And thus we cut off our own way-no, not retreat, but, on the contrary, to a new life. If you do not talk about your experiences to the person for whom they originated, you will not have any chance at all to improve the situation or change the relationship. Yes, and to help from the outside you can probably count on it when others know about your problems. Otherwise how do they know that you need it?
Therefore, do not hide from people that you have lost composure. Just do not confuse the honest recognition that you are bad, with constant whining and complaining about unfavorable fate. This behavior is usually annoying for all and, accordingly, does not encourage assistance.
4. They are waiting for help from you.
Many of us are familiar with the experiences for the fate of others who are not indifferent to us people. So women are arranged that they often take the sufferings of relatives or friends very close to their heart - like their own. The ability to sympathize is the beautiful quality of a woman's soul. But at the same time there is a danger of emotionally plunging into someone else's life so deeply that it can turn into an unbearable burden. Psychologists are aware of cases when successful women, worrying for others, earned themselves a nervous stomach ulcer or a heart attack.
If someone from dear to you people has trouble, and you feel because of this strong emotional pain, do not let it sprout in you, destroy your body. Especially because feelings, as well as tears, grief will not help, but health (and primarily - the nervous system) will undermine. It is better to think about what help is required of you. Of course, how a woman behaves in crisis situations is her own business. But it is better to listen to the advice of psychologists.
Is the relative hurt? Look for good doctors or pay for treatment, stay a nurse or lift a patient's mood, fulfilling some of his desires. Husband lost his job? Help him in search of work, and in the meantime redistribute the family budget so as to reduce spending. The girlfriend was upset about the wedding because of the betrayal of the groom? Bring her out more often "into the light," get her to go shopping with you in search of a new outfit, take her with you to parties. In short, in this case, one tip - act!
DO NOT GIVE UP!
Unfortunately, troubles, big or small, are just as natural a phenomenon of our being as growing up and aging of a person. Well, since it so happened that you can not escape from them, try not to break your life to the ground.
♦ Remember that the feeling that the whole world has collapsed and around not even find a straw to grab, visits almost every person at least once in life. It is natural. Therefore, this state does not detract from your dignity.
♦ Understand the reasons for the appearance of a sense of vulnerability and defenselessness, and then necessarily begin to do something. Make a mistake, try again - just do not stay idle!
♦ Do not blame yourself, if something is wrong in your life. Most of our troubles arise, as a rule, because of objective (that is, not depending on you) circumstances.
♦ "Do not saw sawdust", as psychologists advise, that is, do not remember what happened again and again hundreds of times. Make yourself forget what happened, and focus on what you are aiming for.
♦ Communicate more often with close people, do not condemn yourself to loneliness consciously. Even if we are accustomed to rely only on ourselves in an effort to change the situation for the better, to win back the positions we have surrendered. Still, do not forget that one in the field is not a warrior.