Fears and mistakes
What mistakes does a single mother make, what kind of fears she has, and is it possible to avoid these mistakes? We will help to find the strength in ourselves, to comprehend all that has happened, to start "from scratch" and move to a new life. We must remember that a single mother, this is not a bad mother, not an unhappy family, but just an incomplete family. There are many examples where in the ordinary family, which consists of mother, father and child, most often the care and upbringing of the child is done by the mother. And in such a family everyone is unhappy, mom - because the husband is infantile, dad because he does not have the opportunity to live, because he wants, and there is no freedom, the child because of the constant quarrels of parents.
So can become a lonely mother, and not bad? After all, for many women, divorce is the only way out of this situation (beatings, insults, humiliation, lack of love, etc.) and become happy again. After all, people tend to make mistakes when they choose the wrong person, they go in the wrong door, they say the wrong words. Do not stop, and the main thing is to go further, it will not be easy. After all, the past can not be changed, but it is possible to build a happy future for the child and for oneself. Every woman should be entitled to a second chance.
Mistakes of a lonely mother
Women who raise a child alone know what challenge motherhood is to them. Lonely mothers, because of loss of life guidance and self-esteem, over-take care of children, while they forget about their needs and about themselves. And they make a big mistake.
1. Completely and completely devote themselves to the child
Maybe it's not bad, but mothers who gave their whole lives to a child, as it were, stick to it, and can not realize themselves as a person. It is terribly difficult for them to let their adult child go to this independent life. Such mothers have high demands on their children. Their unfulfilled dreams they try to realize through their child, deprive him of the right to choose and program him. Of course, the child in their lives is the most important thing, but you need to remember about yourself. This applies to both emotions and appearance.
2. Feel a great guilt
Often, single mothers believe that they are guilty of divorce, and that the child does not have a father. And regardless of the reasons for the gap, they blame themselves only on this. In fact because of them the child grows in an inferior family and without a father. Due to lack of money, they are forced to work for days, and of course, while giving children little time. And when there is free time, they do not rest, but give them time and spend it with the children. And so it happens all life, they feel guilt and regret, which manifest themselves in total self-sacrifice.
A woman sacrifices many to her child, it is inherent in nature, but it should not be harmful and be within the reasonable. It is not necessary to devote every minute of your life to a child. After all, this way mom gives her child a good example. You can not deprive yourself of the prospect of freedom and personal life, you do not need to recognize only the role of a single mother.
3. The process of raising a child is reduced to the satisfaction of material needs
This is a natural and natural desire, but one should not forget about the spiritual side. A single mother, caring how to dress and feed a child, can miss such important moments as: the education of responsibility, kindness, sensitivity, love and so on. Talk to him more often, give tenderness and warmth in looks, words, in touch. If there are some financial difficulties, this should not affect your relationship and the child. Do not doubt that you educate a person and a person, even if you grow it alone. Invest in the child's attention, kindness, care and love. This is the most profitable investment, in a few years you will receive interest in the form of a loving caring daughter and a grateful son.
4. They put an end to their personal lives and restrict their social circle only to the child
Lonely mothers are sure that their meetings with friends, with a man will make a child suffer and will not bring him joy, but all this is wrong. On the contrary, a happy mother who is satisfied with life will bring her baby joy. Do not fence yourself off from others. It is necessary to go somewhere and without a child, make appointments and meet with friends and do something for yourself, your beloved. Communication with people, with a man will make you forget about some pressing problems, bring joy and give happiness. And such a happy mother can make her child happy too.
Do not suppress the desire to rely on a strong male shoulder, because it is an understandable and natural need to feel the care of a loved one. And in the name of motherhood, you can not give up all this. Maybe a new man and a new acquaintance will benefit this little family. Obligations that were performed by one person can be divided into two people. The child, communicating with the mother's mother, will gain new knowledge and experience.
5. Do not take loneliness
This extreme is peculiar to single mothers. After all, they have not recovered both physically and morally from past relationships, and are already trying to create new relationships. In such situations, children are left to grandparents, and this affects children. It is very important to find some balance between your needs and the needs of the child.
Now we know about the mistakes and fears of a single mother. You need to know that strong women can grow their own child. Do not be afraid of problems and obstacles, go through life with proudly straightened shoulders and confident enough. You are a real mother. And we must love the child and ourselves. Be happy!