In any children's collective there is a toddler who turns out to be in the position of "invisible" or "outcast". Children who have not learned to build communication with others at an early age, in the future, may have difficulties in any cases where there is interaction with the team: in studies, sports, work, family relationships. They find it difficult to find friends, such people are often alone.
In some cases, parents can predict the occurrence of such troubles in advance: it is known that problems in communicating and establishing social contacts most often occur in children with personal or behavioral "distortions", as well as in children with speech defects. If the baby has such features - do not wait until the "complications" begin. Lessons of communication need to start before entering children's institutions.
How can parents help a child with difficulties in communication so as not to injure him?
First of all, pay attention to how the relationship between family members is built, because the first skills of communication the child receives at home. The tone that the households talk to each other, how to resolve conflict situations. With a relaxed and confident style of communication, parents have less chance of having difficulties with communication, and a more favorable forecast if such difficulties do arise.
Parents often refuse to acknowledge the fact that the reason that a child does not have relationships with others is in him, and not in peers or tutors. Loving mom and dad seems that these other people's children are ill-educated, and incompetent educators can not find the right approach to their child. In fact, it may turn out that the child is rude to other children, shows excessive resentment, is known as a slanderer, or, for example, tries to behave like a little barchuk: talking with peers in an orderly tone.
Closure and shyness also interfere with the development of communication skills. Help the child to build self-confidence, encourage him to communicate, including with strangers. Ask him to take a turn in the clinic or ask the market how much the cherry is worth. Parents should remember that the basis of self-confidence in the child is the unconditional acceptance of his mother and father. Do not label him ("you are clumsy", "you are inattentive"), do not compare him with other children, especially at a disadvantage ("Now, Sveta, I've already learned how to read by syllables, but you still can not learn letters! ").
If the child is inclined to aggressive behavior, remember - increasing the voice and applying physical punishment is the most ineffective way to solve this problem. Make sure that aggressiveness is not caused by a lack of communication with parents, and is not the last cry of the soul, in the hope of Mom's attention. Effective ways to combat aggressive behavior: to show how to safely exit aggression (for example - to tear into pieces small pieces of "anger" with a painted object that causes negative emotions) and demonstration of peaceful behavior in conflict situations (by example, show how to find a compromise if your interests intersected with the interests of another person).
Little children are self-centered in nature. It is difficult for them to put themselves in the place of another person - this is the source of a large number of conflicts. Parents sometimes simply need to offer the child to think about how their behavior affects a particular person: "Now, if Vasya broke your kulichiki - would you like it? And if Masha teased you?"
Great chances to be rejected by peers in children with inadequately inflated self-esteem. He is used to command and consider himself better than others. Such behavior, as a rule, is provoked by relatives: parents, or grandparents, blind in their adoration, inspire the child that he is the best in all respects, emphasizing that other children to him "and are not fit for a candle." Children do not like "dudes". It is necessary to explain to the child that the peers are no worse, and in some circumstances may even be better. And this is normal.
Parents who admit that their child has problems with communication tend to show willingness to cooperate with professionals - a psychologist, a social teacher, a class teacher. In this case, professionals will tell how parents help a child with difficulties in communication.
But, sometimes, indeed, a negative attitude to the child in the team is formed by a single person - for example, a teacher who feels uncomfortable feelings towards the parents of the baby. The children observe how she finds fault with the pupil, lets out sarcastic cues, and her mood is passed on to the whole group. Or a classmate with authority among the children and a warring with a particular child organizes harassment. If in such a situation they come to "deal with" the abusers, this most often leads to a worsening of the situation - the teacher becomes more sophisticated in the oppression of the child, and peers consider him a slander, and continue to persecute. It is necessary to find out the reasons for the child's unpopularity in the team to try to improve the situation, providing the child with unconditional support and suggesting how to correct their behavior, but not encouraging him to pity for "himself unhappy." In case the situation has gone too far - the child is regularly beaten or humiliated - it's time for serious intervention.
The main thing that parents should always remember is that they can not show inattention and run the problem of the baby, in the hope that everything "is formed itself." The earlier mom and dad take the situation under control, the easier and faster the results of the corrective work will come. Love and support of the closest people and the help of professionals are the key to success in solving communication problems.