Parents who complain about the lack of independence of their children are very often guilty of this themselves. After all, the child's psyche is very receptive. The most important mistakes that are the culprits of children's lack of autonomy, we will tell in this article.
That the child became independent, it is necessary to encourage this independence. Adults seem to be insignificant to drink, for example, a whole glass of milk or only half of it, but for a child even the smallest option gives the opportunity to exercise control over one's own life.The given choice gives the child a feeling of respect for himself as an individual and helps him to get along with him in situations when he does not want to do something, but it is necessary to do it. For example, take the medicine. It should be borne in mind that forced choice is not an option. For example, "I'm bored with your knock. You can go and knock in your room, or stay here, but stop making noise." Do not be surprised that such a method will cause only regular objections and quarrels. Instead, ask your child to come up with this choice, which will be acceptable for you and for him. Thus, you encourage the child to become independent.
Show respect for what your child is doing. Never say to him: "Come on, it's easy." You will not have such words of support. After all, in case of failure, the child will think that he could not cope with something elementary. And this, in turn, can lead to a low self-esteem. And if successful, he will not feel special joy, because according to your words it turns out that the child has not achieved anything special. When you do something for the first time, it is almost always difficult, parents should remember this. Do not be afraid to tell the child that what he does is difficult. If he does not succeed, do not rush to do it for him, better give useful advice.
Try not to ask too many questions, such as: "where are you going?", "What are you doing there?". They cause a defensive reaction and irritation.
Sometimes children really open up to their parents when they stop showering them with endless questions. This does not mean that asking any questions at all is prohibited. Simply allow the child to reveal himself.
Invite the children to look for sources of information outside the home and relatives. They must learn to live in this vast world. If all the information they receive only from mom and dad, then they can get the impression of the world as something terrible and alien. Knowledge can be obtained from libraries, various excursions and most importantly - from other people. Very useful information about health and proper nutrition a child can get from the mouth of a nurse. And with a complex report given in the school, it is better to contact the librarian.
Beware of the word "no". Try to replace it with other words as often as possible, encouraging the child to enter your position and not hurt his feelings.
It is not necessary to discuss even the smallest child in the presence of other people. This attitude makes children feel ownership.
Give children the opportunity to own their body. Do not shake off the endless fluff from them, do not correct the bang every second, collar, etc. Children perceive this as an intrusion into their personal space and privacy. Beware of such phrases as: "Take your hair off your eyes, you can not see anything!" or "did your pocket money go to such nonsense?" Think about it, you surely do not always sit upright, and not everyone, maybe, likes your purchases. After all, you yourself will not be pleased if someone starts to carp about anything.
When a child makes decisions for himself, even if insignificant, he grows in an atmosphere of trustful atmosphere and takes responsibility for his choice.