Child theft: causes and what to do to parents

Sooner or later, almost all parents face the situation when their child brings someone else's thing or toy home. And most of them immediately cause negative emotions. Immediately there are thoughts "How so? We brought up a thief! Horror!". It is becoming a shame, people are angry with their child, they blame themselves that they did not properly educate him, there is a fear of publicity of this fact. But nevertheless it is not necessary to make hasty conclusions.

Let's consider the situation with child theft in all details, understand the reasons for such actions and how to behave in a similar situation, what to do, and what to do is highly discouraged.

First of all, we must realize that there are cases when it is not stealing. Your child could just swap his toy with another baby by mutual consent. This is not so rare and very good, if it is really a similar case.

What parents can not do

Now we give a list of actions that categorically can not be done, if it turned out that it was still theft:

• To think that the irreparable happened;
• Arrange scandals and tantrums;
• To deprive a child specially of something "as punishment";
• Show indifference or approve the theft;
• Do not pay attention to the fact that his friends are the so-called "bad company";
• Accuse him, if there is no 100 percent proof of his guilt;
• Hanging on him labels of a thief and the like;
• Demand that he publicly confess his deed and repent;
• Do comparisons with other people or children, like: "Here I have never stolen!";
• Do not try to force him to swear an oath that he will never do so again;
• In any case, do not discuss this in the presence of any strangers.

If you try to do any of the above, then most likely, the result will not be that the child will no longer steal, but that he will close and cease to trust you, thus leaving your control.

What are the reasons for pushing a child to steal?

• A child can simply not distinguish between his and others' things. This occurs in children aged 2 to 4 years. At the same time, it is necessary to gently explain to him what he is doing wrong in each particular situation, until the child has learned the boundaries of the stranger and his own;
• A child so desires a certain toy, wants it so much that it does not even realize the fact of theft. This can happen if the child's needs are ignored. In this case, parents should pay attention to the desires and needs of the child, which remain unsatisfied. Undoubtedly, it is hardly worthwhile to immediately run to the store and buy a toy for the child (this may lead to the child having an idea that a toy will appear behind the theft). Try to explain to him that he will have a toy, only a little later, for example, to his birthday, that he will be given a grandfather or grandmother who will be bought after receiving wages, etc .;
• It is possible that the child stole a toy, which before him was long boasted and offended, only to take revenge on his offender. In this case, you need to help him take the right position and develop a behavior that does not require you to steal a toy. It is possible to develop such behavior indirectly, playing with the help of toys scenes, where this happens "for fun";
• If the child feels a lack of attention from the parents. It happens that the child is so lacking in parental attention that he becomes capable of even stealing. It does not matter to him that attention will be negative, the main thing is that it will be;
• Theft can be a way to gain credibility among peers. This paragraph has a direct relationship to the previous one. If the child lacks attention in the family circle, he can try to compensate for this recognition and sense of significance in a group of his friends. Here it is necessary to understand not with the fact of theft, but with the global problem in the relationship with the child.
• Try to develop the talents of your child - this largely raises his self-esteem;
• Perhaps extortion from someone else's side, for example, on the part of older children. In this case, it is necessary to protect the child. Explain that in such cases it is necessary to contact the elders-parents, teachers. Make sure the problem is resolved.

What should parents do?

What else should you do if you discovered a theft committed by your child?

• To think and talk about this, as if the child "took" someone else's, rather than "stole" it;
• Softly and kindly to talk with the baby to understand where the toy came from, why she told him, in what relations with the owner of a strange thing he is - all this will make it clear the reasons that pushed him to such an action;
• If the child feels guilty, shift the emphasis to the feelings of the person he robbed;
• If he does not feel guilty, then the fact of stealing should be condemned. However, it is necessary to do this carefully, in order to condemn the deed, and not the child itself;
• It is obligatory to return the thing to its owner, but to do it as if the child had found it;
• Return the thing you need with the child. If necessary, take his side to protect him from possible attacks from the parents of the owner of the thing or other people. Let the child realize that you will in any case be on his side;
• You can try to persuade the child to return the item to its owner;
• Explain that you can take a thing without demand, only if it belongs to him, and to take someone else's - you need to ask permission from the owner;
• Behave in a decent way so that the child can take from you an example to follow, do not shout and do not scandal;
• If you saw with your own eyes the fact of theft, openly tell the child about it;
• Give him to explicitly understand that you do not like his action;
• The owner of the thing should be given it regardless of its value;
• Do not allow situations that could provoke a child to steal;
• Encourage him to confess his mistakes and recognize them;
• Read and carefully discuss with him literature on moral education. If the child is still young, you can do it in a playful form.