How to avoid conflicts in the family?

Family relations are considered to be one of the most popular topics for today. In everyday vanity, it often happens that loving each other husband and wife can not find the main thing - understanding. Hence the majority of conflicts flare up in the family. Expressions "we understand each other without words", today you can meet extremely rarely. Such words can rightly be said by our grandparents, who went hand in hand for a lifetime and saw hard times, especially those who managed to pass the war period. And we, the modern generation of young people, who are in constant movement and decide a lot of questions, need only to get attached to each other, passing through a series of family conflicts.

Causes of conflicts in the family

Maybe for a start it's worthwhile to think and evaluate because of what conflicts occur in the family? Scientists have found out that conflict situations between spouses can arise because of inconsistency with the " biological clock " rights. There are people "larks", there are "owls", and maybe you and your spouse just belong to different categories, while one wakes up in the morning, cheerful and already analyzes, and plans the next day, the other way around, asleep and even Do not think about what will be done today. But this is just an assumption, which should not be reduced to all the problems arising in family life. Perhaps it's different - you just have incompatible life positions, for example, in the education of children, disagreements in financial matters.

We would like to open our eyes to how conflicts arise in the family literally on "empty space" and sadly, quite often. Imagine, quite a standard situation. You come from work, the road home was not pleasant, someone pushed, cursed, and the day was hard. And then the husband who sat down on the sofa and watches television quietly, a child who asks for help in the lessons. And you seem to be torn apart from the anger that has accumulated in you. And when the family conflict reaches its apogee, you realize that there is no point in continuing the conversation. In the end, go to the corners, doing each one's own business.

The day passes, the second, the evenings are held in silence, no one talks to anyone, and the phone as silently silent. You are already thinking:

- "Maybe you should come and talk?"
- "No, why, first, I'm right (a), and secondly, why should I (first) come first?"

Help of a psychologist in resolving family conflicts

The emergence of a new trend - the consultation of psychologists who are very popular abroad, sometimes determine the fate of many people. Yes, probably, this is one of the most correct way to resolve the conflict situations that have arisen in the family.

What is so good about this method of solving a difficult situation, you ask? The answer lies on the surface, in search of the best way out of the difficult situation that has arisen, you are turning to a completely independent person, you can even say to an expert, a specialist who is competent in the field of psychology and is not your closest relative or friend. A psychologist will certainly help you make the right decision. But at us while it is not so widespread, and costs or stands dorogovato, not everyone the simple person can afford to address to the expert. Sometimes they just do not want to do it - lose time, money, etc. But you can always remember about the consultation of a free psychologist. For example, hotline phones, where you can always call and get the answer to the question you are interested in.

For many, it should be obvious that if there is a conflict between family members, it would be better to talk to a literate person rather than (as we do) to run to the closest friend in search of truth. In addition, did you ever think that when you ask your loved one for advice, you can sometimes stumble upon an unfair sentencing for those with whom you have a conflict. Maybe, on your subconscious level, your girlfriend envies you, for example, who does not have a family life, and she always tries to say once again, "What is your bad husband, Vasya, that does this."

From conflict in the family - to harmony in relationships

Let's think about it and develop the situation differently. After all, conflict in the family and other aspects of life does not always carry a negative side, because it always brings about any changes. And even in some cases it can serve as a kind of antidiprester in a monotonous, boring life.

In a heated conflict, the spouses often begin, so to speak, to move away from the topic that was the cause. In the course of the dispute, it is recalled that everything that they accumulated, what I wanted to say before, was somehow forgotten or postponed until later, in the hope that "maybe it will improve?". So do not in any case! Make it clear in your head right away - what you are trying to figure out and sort out one problem that has arisen in this situation at the moment. And not at all that you have accumulated for a long time and you decided to unload all this with dead weight on a poor husband (wife). Just do not enter threats, for example: "if you do not do cleaning today, then I'll leave for a whole day, leaving you with a small child and I will not answer calls" or "I'm tired of everything, I demand a divorce." Agree, no matter how many times you say this, first, it will cease to function in the future, and secondly, one day you will have to fulfill the promised one.

We propose to act somewhat differently. Predicting the next conflict in the family, think about what and how you will talk. Then the conversation will not introduce a negative connotation, but on the contrary, you will find out the relationship, quietly, in lowered tones. Is it possible to call it a conflict at all? Of course not. This is just an explanation for your partner, what would he like to change in this situation, and what solutions can be found through joint efforts. Spend, so to speak, self-examination within yourself. Yes it is difficult, you will say, especially when everything is boiling inside and just about to pour out. And who ever said that life is easy? What to think before you say - it's easy? Especially when it happens during a conflict situation: it requires effort, restraining emotions, but you will see - it will bear fruit. And in the future you will understand that to avoid conflict in the family is much easier in a calm environment, simply explaining your discontent and looking for ways to solve them together. Thus, you send each other "I - messages", hearing each other while understanding the discontent of each side.

So, using all the rules listed above, you can no doubt resolve conflicts in the family without resorting to humiliation and insults. What and what will allow you to further strengthen your relationship and quickly solve the accumulated problems, bypassing the "family battles."

Good luck and harmony in your family life!

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