How could he do this? Why did you change? .. You feel a shock, anger and resentment. You trusted him! But you still love him. And how now to be? Surely you have often decided for yourself that you would not forgive treason. It's very easy to say so if it's about someone else. And if it turns out that they cheated on you? A man you fully trusted, deceived and humiliated. And now everything is not so simple ...
You experience a lot of negative emotions, but still continue to love him. Can not imagine life without him, but he begs him to forgive. Give him a chance or to leave? You can forgive treason, but you can not forget about it. Therefore, it is so difficult for us to build relationships again. If you want to give your union a chance, fight against the desire to take revenge and do not blame the partner for what happened. Find out all the one and only time and never again return to this.
Do not use cheating as an argument in a quarrel. This is the most complicated task. Under no pretext can you not be reminded of what happened. Even if you get angry with him, bite your tongue.
You are trying to understand whether it is worth saving your union. You think about yourself, about the children, about the family. Whichever decision you take, it will require vassmelosti.
If you decide to forgive, you will have to restrain yourself in order to blame him for misconduct. If you decide to part, in your life there will be a revolution. Maybe for the first time in a long time you will be left alone. Feel yourself lost. Before deciding, think carefully.
Never ask him about it. You will want to know the details ... If you do not know who the "woman" was, do not ask. Reproaches, even after many years, will again cause the wound to bleed. Even if your muzhiklyatsya that you - the best, still you will suffer from the thoughts of razluchnitsu. Zhivitek, as if nothing happened.
Do not take revenge. Do you think that if you are even, you will feel better? Alas, no! Changing from a sense of revenge, you will feel disgust for yourself. If you want to rebuild from wearing, be above it. Forgive me if you both can close this page and not return to it.
If you do this just for the sake of children
Do you feel that you can not forget what he did, but do you want to forgive him for the sake of children? Do not want the family to fall apart? You are counting on the fact that everything will somehow be settled ... But do you understand that this way you will cause twice as much harm to yourself? First, you ignore your own feelings (instead of listening to emotions, go against them), and secondly, you force yourself to do what you do not want.
You will subconsciously blame children
No matter how life develops, you will always feel that you have sacrificed yourself. And so in the depths of the soul will gradually be reborn. You, of course, subconsciously will blame the children for your unfulfilled destiny, and then expect to receive compensation from them (for example, guardianship).
They will feel: something is wrong!
Children perfectly know when something bad happens between parents. Therefore, even if you try to keep the appearance that everything is normal, the children will immediately feel that something is wrong. They will become more prudent, the grades in the school will worsen. Therefore, if you want to do something for children, be honest with yourself. If you feel that you want to leave - go away.
If you can trust him again
Treason is first and foremost deceived trust. The one who was verified, whom they loved, deceived. And trust is the basis of any relationship. If you want to have it all, you'll have to try to trust him again. Take the time, give yourself time. You need to learn not to shake every time he goes on a business trip or has dinner with a longtime acquaintance, otherwise you'll get off sum.
Try not to check, not to spy
You have the right to demand more from him than before. He did not justify the trust and must now do everything to make you calm again. Observe his behavior. If you do not like something, do not spy on him, but just tell him about it. Digging into his things, you will feel bad, and yet it's not you who were guilty.
Remember, you are the most important person for him
Try to distance yourself from what happened. Never compare yourself with your husband's mistress and do not think that she is any better. It was not your fault, and the husband did not change because you do not have something. You were and remain for him the most important person. If you need to hear this from him more often than before, tell him about it. Explain that you want to feel desired and loved. He will have to fight for you again.
If the relationship became bad even before treason
Although you will never misunderstand this, do not admit, but did you feel that sooner or later a betrayal would happen? For a long time, relations were not the same as you wanted. Or quarrels, or silence. Although the husband understands that he is guilty and regrets on what he did, think about whether it is really necessary to save what died long before treason.
Then it will be even worse
He understands that he has changed because you did not get it right. And this justifies his action. You add infidelity to the list of his sins. Think about whether such a situation develops: before you thought about parting, and now, when you see that the husband is attractive to other women, a strange sense of rivalry has appeared? This is a bad reason to be together.
Fight for svoeschast and the future! Maybe it will sound cruel, but the husband has rendered a vamuslugu. He did something that will help you get away. Do you really want to waste time with someone who does not make you happy? Balance the advantages of imunus and go your own way. Take care of yourself!
If you feel that until you can not leave
On the one hand, you feel anger and resentment, but on the other, you can not imagine that you could have parted. Maybe you are not emotionally up to this point, or maybe the financial situation does not allow you to do it. It does not matter what the reason is. But if you are not ready, do nothing by force. Remember that now you are the most important thing and you should think about yourself first.
Prepare for parting
You stayed with him just because you depend on him financially? Do it so that you can become independent as quickly as possible. Increase your skills, find work, ask the family for help. This situation is a big stress for you. You can not stay in this state for too long.
If he refused to recognize the fact of treason
Remember that it was more painful for you: what he changed or that he denied what happened. Of course, admission of guilt does not justify infidelity. But it shows that your partner is experiencing remorse, he is not happy with what he did. This is the catch that will allow you to build something anew. Without this, forgiveness has no meaning.
You can not believe anymore. He lies right in the eyes. Can you ever trust him again? It's not just about treason or other women. This applies to finance, ides, and life. You can not live with someone you constantly suspect in bad intentions. A partner should be your friend, but a true friend never will.