How to live in a family with a traitor

Treason loved and dear to you people - it's always a mental trauma and a lot of stress for our psyche. The reaction to the news of treason can be different, and it is impossible to predict it.

But usually it is accompanied by a flurry of various emotions, which are not infrequently even very contradictory, and can be misleading about further action. Sometimes the fact of betrayal of a husband can bring his wife to a depressive state, or other serious disorders of the nervous system.

There are many psychological advice, how to live in a family with a traitor, or how to survive the betrayal of a husband. In order to avoid consequences, it is necessary to find the strength to carry out several steps that will help you relive infidelity more easily.

So, let's begin.

Your emotions.

Usually, our uncontrollable emotions become the guilt of all our actions, or vice versa, when we constantly keep within ourselves, and several times digest what happened without giving emotions an exit.

In cases of increased emotionality, you should give yourself freedom. If you want to scream - shout, if you break something - hit. A good variant of the manifestation of emotions is creativity, you can write poetry, draw pictures, knit, embroider, in general, do everything that will enable you to throw all your experiences out. You can also use the "letter to nowhere". Many prefer to write without stopping all sore, and then not reading to burn, tear or throw away written.

Not the manifestation of emotions in addition to mental disorders can have physical consequences. So, the constant nervous stress can become the reason of development of an ulcer, a neurosis, cardiovascular diseases, problems with a backbone and many other things. Therefore, in such a stressful situation, do not hesitate to afford what your soul requires. The main thing is not to reimburse all your despair, anger and nerves on children and relatives. In the rest - no restrictions, and the cards in your hands.

After such actions you can more soberly consider the current situation, try to understand it, and make for yourself the necessary conclusions about how you can live in a family with a traitor.

Distance.

When emotions found a way out, and the first shock was to create a mental distance for yourself, which you will withstand in relation to the situation. Perhaps, it is necessary to distance yourself from her husband, and not only mentally. This will help you not to be constantly captivated by memories, and accordingly negative emotions. Doing this is desirable until the situation will not lose power over you. Just remember the fact that the husband is not the only thing in your life. Switch attention to work, hobby, if you do not have a passion, then now is the moment when you need to have them, just like you have friends, relatives and possibly children. Believe me, if you start paying attention to all this, soon the realization of resentment will stop causing you special emotions, and you can calmly talk with your spouse and make some decision.

Analysis.

If you are not ready for a frank and serious conversation, then you must first understand yourself. Now is the moment when it's time. Analyze your life, weigh all the pros and cons, as well as realistic assess your relationship with her husband can be both independently and with the help of a psychologist.

It must be understood that treason also has a different character, and can be accidental. For a man, fear of exposure, and the idea of ​​a possible divorce is also not a small stress. Therefore, before you blame everything on your faithful and lament over who you spent your best years on, figure it out. Usually the main reason for leaving a husband "on the left" is the lack of love, warmth and attention in the family. Perhaps it was you who inspired her husband to take such a step. The purpose of the analysis is to go through the stage of resentment and prepare yourself for communication with the husband. It is necessary that your mind speaks, and not emotions.

Negotiation table.

Before you start talking with your husband, repeat yourself that you need not only to speak, but also to listen, and also to hear everything that will be said by the traitor. The return of the old relations in the family with the traitor, the process is long and time-consuming, so it is necessary to clearly determine whether you are ready for such work. If necessary, involve a psychologist. Usually, after such communication, the spouses realize that, in comparison with the way they have traveled, treason is quite a petty phenomenon. You can also consider this situation as a film. After all, if the main story is good, one unsuccessful shot will not completely ruin your impression. After a frank conversation, there is a chance to continue, to live in a family with a traitor, while making minimum efforts. If understanding is not achieved, and you are determined to end your relationship, do it calmly and wisely. If it diverges, it is better to disperse peace, without unnecessary scandals and disputes. After all, on the other hand, on this your life does not end, and the best course is ahead.

All over again.

If the betrayal is forgiven, the family with the traitor must begin to live from the very beginning. Renew relations better gradually, without making strong jerks, and without forgetting why you do it. Work on a new stage of the old relationship, you must both, giving the process the same amount of effort. Do not play the role of a victim, and at every opportunity to remind your husband who and who offended. Find the strength, if not forget, then just do not remember what happened.

The implementation of such rules will allow you to continue to live together, despite the betrayal. Return the former color and emotionality, as well as correct all mistakes that you both committed. After all, the family does not happen, one is to blame, always the main reasons concern both spouses. And remember - to love is to understand. Without mutual understanding, relations can not only be built anew, but simply preserved. If your feelings are real, you will be able to withstand all the trials prepared by your destiny.