How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one?

If we compare the life together with the beloved with the river, then outwardly it will be different for everyone. Someone will have a swift fast river, with rapids and waterfalls, with foam spray and whirlpools. And perhaps it is a broad, smooth, powerful river, slowly carrying its waters. But this is only an external difference, in fact, both the one and the other river, very, very dangerous pitfalls, and it is unimportant to see them on the surface or not.

Similarly, in life, even in the most tranquil, peaceful and tender relationships, there is no friction, misunderstanding and insults. And, of course, these grievances leave wounds, sometimes not deep, sometimes deadly. And from these wounds and offenses there is one medicine, this is forgiveness. And as you know, God forbid to forgive. But this is sometimes very difficult to do, for a number of reasons. So let's try to figure out together how to forgive the betrayal of a loved one.

Action number 1. To understand, whether it is possible to forgive in general the beloved.
Before, something to do, think carefully about whether this action is worth the effort. Guided by such a law, we must solve all problems in the world around us. On this, first think about what your favorite touched your feelings. In some random, but insulting little things, or is it something deeper. And only on the basis of this, decide whether it can be forgiven and how to do it.

Action number 2. Check if there is a reason for your fault.

This is also very important point, at times we are very offended by our men, for what they themselves in one form or another provoked. For example, if we ourselves know that we have extra pounds, but at the same time we ask the beloved if they have us. And then to his honest answer, offended why he did not lie to us. He actually did the right thing, he told us the truth, but it offends us. He himself, in general, is not to blame. If after the analysis, we see that there is wine behind us, then you can forgive your loved one quite simply.

Action number 3. Remember all the best.

For example, you did the first two steps and realized that the offense caused to you, in general, is not fatal, but your fault in it by and large is not. (some are not very serious about betrayal) Then what next, to hold it in yourself or by and large will not be able to forget. The insult, if it has already been done, can only be sincerely forgiven, otherwise it will destroy you from the inside, so remember all the good things that unite you with your loved ones, and then, I'm sure, this offense will seem petty and insignificant, and treason is not so terrible . And you can easily forgive her.

Action number 4. talk to your beloved heart to heart.

To step on the same rake, this is an old Russian tradition, but we will try to avoid it. For this, after you have analyzed, and have forgiven the insult for yourself (ie it does not bother you anymore, and you can forget it for real), it's time for an honest confidential conversation. Explain to your loved one honestly, and without an omission what exactly he offended you. After all, at times, a man can greatly offend, even without knowing it. After that, ask him not to do it again, and I'm convinced that if a man really loves you, then he will understand your concerns, and you do not remember about this quarrel ever again.

In the end, I want to add that the main basis for forgiveness is true love, which does not pay attention to infidelity, but still, even the most powerful and tender love, can destroy permanent insults and insults if they are not forgiven, but saved in itself. In this case they will destroy you slowly, like corpse poison. Therefore, I repeat, do not save resentment in yourself, hoping that they themselves will pass, no. Insults must either be forgiven, or something to do with the relationship, alas, and ah, the third is not given.