What if your close friend is a grumbler and a pessimist? Support it or, on the contrary, try to re-educate? Surely there is tenderness, romance and responsibility in it, but it always spoils everything with its constant bad mood. What to do with the negative? Is it possible to change such a person?
What is the manifestation of pessimism?
Pessimists are people who can at once crush and annihilate any idea. Their world consists only of gray tones, and most importantly, they say they know why they will not get what they intended. They constantly complain about life, and their bad mood passes to loved ones. Pessimists, on the subconscious level, choose this life in advance to justify this or that failure in advance and just sit back and do nothing. Why should you dirty your hands or think with your head if you still do not get it?
Any pessimist is afraid to share with others his happiness and joy, he thinks that from this his happiness will be less and in one moment grow up - there will be nothing left. He seems to be jinxing himself. Pessimists believe in various signs, for example, "if you laugh a lot in the evening, tomorrow you'll be crying," "if you share your goals and plans, everything will go wrong and nothing will turn out right away." It is for this reason that they share with surrounding people not a good mood, happiness with joy, but with "sores", whining and failures.
Very often pessimists try to communicate with positive people in order to draw energy from them. However, a positive person is a positive person. How much positive do not take from him, he will not become less zhizneredostnym and gloomy, but the pessimist will not be added joy, because the soul is full of negativity and nothing will change. A pessimist who has a wife or just a beloved woman, all the bright plans, goals and ideas of the second half will immediately stew, break and paint black!
There are, of course, pluses in such people, they are in the family life more loyal, stable and always ready for difficulties. However, in order to live normally with a male pessimist, you need to have special abilities: to be able not to become infected with bad habits, but, on the contrary, not to pay attention somewhere, in some situation, to support, encourage, and maybe even to alienate somewhere. If you are unable to do this or simply think that you can not live like this all your life, then do not try any better, otherwise pessimism will absorb you.
Are there lipsticks in the male pessimist?
A pessimist is an energy vampire. However, positive aspects are also available. They themselves are able to share another's grief, that is, they can easily be on the same wave. They easily accept the shortcomings of the second half, because they understand that all are not perfect or maybe they think that their life is a continuous grief, and they are the best undeserving. Pessimists very rarely change and abandon their families. They are serious, thoughtful, hardworking, know how to systematize facts, and to think logically. They do not try to run away from difficulties, thinking that it should be so, they do not start looking for a way out, where they will live better and "sweeter". Pessimists are excellent accountants and lawyers. They often invent for themselves some special rituals and hold them. This is very useful and important for them.
However, in order to know how to behave with him, one must determine his type.
What are the pessimists?
Aggressive
They are annoyed with laughter, a smile or even hints of love. They are sure that all this is not real, just a game. All dreams and hopes for them - it's just a dream, "there is nothing like that," they will say. Any kind of enthusiasm such men can single out their phrase with a bucket of water a match. Yes, they are full of energy, but with this energy they destroy fun, hopes, plans, dreams, joy. Perhaps even show sarcasm and anger. Such pessimists people, as a rule, become after a great setback in life.
Passive
Such men are depressed, anxious and disappointed in everything and at all. They never impose their opinions and attitudes towards the world, people and situations, but if you want to share your plans and dreams with such a person, be sure that you are provided with a bad mood, pessimist quickly and convincingly tell you why nothing will be possible. They are constantly grumbling and whining! They never make decisions themselves, because they do not know how, they wait until someone does it for them. Pessimists think that they have little energy, so they try to eat it from other people. Often this is due to a weak psychological constitution.
Constitutional
It is believed that both pessimism and ioptimism largely depend on how the organism works. A pessimist is a human congenital weak nervous system, where the processes of inhibition and the low level of serotonin predominate. These people have already been born such and can not be helped with this. They think that life does not make any sense, and if it spoils something, it will immediately get into trouble, not just one. This is inherited.
Creative
To make another masterpiece, they need suffering. Muza visits them only when they experience the emotional failures and emotional torment. They are idealists, sensitive and subtle natures. They set themselves unattainable goals. What they do: songs, pictures, music makes people visit their world filled with pessimism. Yes, their work is impressive, but, unfortunately, does not care. Perhaps they need a magic kick, thanks to which they will be retrained and begin to create on the wave of positive.
Losers
Representatives of this type of pessimists believe that the world is so unfriendly only in relation to. Their personal psychological attitudes prevent them from living. At one point they have inspired themselves that they are losers, and now this installation is slowly ruining their lives. As a rule, such men independently let the people understand that they need to be treated negatively. However, what negative they think about themselves, always comes true. To live normally, representatives of this type must change their beliefs.
Age-related
Over the years, the activity of the nervous processes slows down, so many men become pessimists. They hardly perceive something new, so they immediately eradicate all the possibilities of changes in life and seek convenience in what is. Often representatives of this type begin to catch pessimism for years after 40-45 and this happens if a man does not see sense in life, did not manage to set goals before himself, did not find new opportunities for development. You can help such a man only if you gently, unobtrusively help him identify new horizons and opportunities.
But women after 45 years, as a rule, on the contrary, are recruited optimism. They begin to live for themselves, become more open and unconscious. You have probably heard this saying: 45 - a woman again!
To live with a man-pessimist? How to communicate with him?
Psychologists say that it is almost impossible to change such people. However, if you sincerely love him with all your heart, and want to decorate his life - ahead. Here are some tips for you:
- Teach your pessimist about what you need to live today, without thinking that tomorrow or a month can be bad. Try to instill in him the joy of small trifles of life - the beauty of nature, the joy of communication and takdalee.
- Often such men watch gloomy films and read the same literature. Suggest to see a comedy, put in a prominent place positive books, which are full of humor.
- Teach him that the pessimist wants what he can afford, and an optimist can do what he wants. If he himself will allow miracles to happen, then they will happen. Possible, most importantly to want.
- Constantly joking. If he starts to tell you again that everything is wrong again, and there you have not finished it and have not been cooked here, translate it all into a joke.
- Find in the pessimist something that still brings joy: bathing in the sea, homemade bread, classical music, sitting on the bench with sesemchkami. Now this is your life, do everything together with him and as often as possible. Emphasize that you respect its values and at the same time open up new horizons.