Why sometimes it happens that one person for a long time says, "crucifies" in front of an audience or even a small company, and he still does not listen and do not even want to hear, while another pair of words can interest everyone? How to make sure that you are listened to and understood, and most importantly, to fulfill the said requests or instructions? It's very simple: you just need to learn how to correctly communicate and study the psychology of speech perception.
The first thing to do is to find out why you are reluctant to hear or why you are heard, but do not understand. Analyze your speech as if from the outside. You can even include secretly a voice recorder when you are talking something in the company, and then in a quiet environment listen to your entire monologue. Perhaps, your speech is not very clear to the interlocutor: you are too hasty, when you speak or vice versa, speak so slowly that people start to wag and miss your speech. Or maybe you are still being listened to, but just do not take what you said seriously and knowingly do not comply with requests or instructions?
Let's understand, because of what you may not want to listen and how to deal with it.
- Incomplete speech
We are not going to consider logopedic problems here. The case is completely different. You must be able to clearly and clearly state the essence of your question or problem. For example, if you need to buy flour, then say: "You go to the store, buy a couple of kilograms of flour for the dough at the same time." If you say something like: "You, it ... was going to the store. And I wanted a pie with apples baked, but here I have to start a dough, and the flour was, it seems somewhere ... to buy more. Okay, you go, and I'll go and wash the dishes. " An example, of course, is banal, but it clearly reflects the essence of how important it is to formulate correctly your request and question. Therefore rule number 1 - speak all the time with transparent hints, if you are not sure that they will be understood.
- Uncertain, confused speech
Which speakers are always listening? Those who speak confidently, clearly and clearly. Therefore, if you want to be listened to, develop self-confidence. If during the conversation you are very worried, start to lose weight, constantly scratch your nose, forehead, chin, straighten hair or collar of blouse, then in the end all this starts to irritate and distract the interlocutor. As a rule, listeners feel very well when the speaker is not sure of himself. Arazve will they take seriously the words of such a person? This implies rule number 2 - train self-confidence.
- Lots of unnecessary information
Why do you think that it often happens that people seem to be telling something important to a person and he heard, but still did not? For example, say to your husband: "Dear, I will come to Nastia today after work, or Natasha's cousin Natasha and her husband from St. Petersburg will come to see us, we have not seen each other for a long time, and Murzikdom's cat is hungry, if you do not go out with friends to football, that the food is full. " It is likely that from this stream of speech your husband will not hear what is necessary to feed the hungry Murzik. Therefore, rule number 3 - do not "drown" important information in the mass of useless chatter.
How to speak correctly
- With important phrases, look into the person in the eye. This you will keep his attention and make you perceive the information.
- Avoid the words-parasites. Infinite "em ...", "well", "this", "here", etc. very clog our speech and divert attention from basic information. Yes, and listen to a person who infinitely inserts the word "here" or a long "well" very quickly gets bored and listeners become bored.
- Play intonations. From what speech do we often begin to fall asleep almost? From monotonous, going on one note. Suffice it to recall some boring lectures at the institute, when the lecturer for long hours tells something in a tired, monotonous voice. Give your voice color, change the tone, when you pronounce the speech, speak more loudly, then a little more quietly, accentuating your voice in especially important moments. Pause in especially important places and people will listen to you with pleasure and interest.
- Do not talk too fast. Quick speech is perceived worse than normal and measured, so if you are a true talker, then slow down a bit so that it's easier for people to hear you and catch the essence of the conversation.
- Avoid the particles "not" in the conversation. Every person has a very developed sense of contradiction. When something is forbidden, one always wants to do everything exactly the opposite. If you want to be listened to, then replace the verbs with the particle "not" by the opposite in meaning. Instead of "do not go away" say "stay", instead of "do not forget" - "remember", instead of "do not do this" - "do it better like this ...", etc.
If you want to make people listen to you, then keep these simple rules in mind. In addition, if you follow your speech, it will be much easier for the goods to get what you need from the person you are talking to.