How to return a man after parting: 6 best tips from a psychologist

When a beloved man leaves, life becomes like a dumb black and white movie, in which there are no colors, feelings and the main character. And without it, existence turns into nonsense. The heart still beats only because it expects a miracle in the form of a phone call or an unexpected visit, and the head-mind mixer frantically searches for answers to the risk of becoming rhetorical questions. Why did he leave? What did you do wrong? Was it possible to predict and prevent the departure of a loved one? And to what gods to turn to return the most expensive man in the world? Perhaps not entirely gods, but some power over the accomplishment of the "miracle" has psychologists who know the correct algorithm of actions to return a man to a relationship, and peace of mind - in the heart.

Return or release? Finding the true motives

Analyzing the behavioral reactions of women to the care of a man, psychologists explain that often we do not know how to objectively assess the situation and, guided by emotions, stereotypes or ambitions, we try, contrary to common sense, to return those who are not to return. In this case, in order to protect the psyche from stress, it is better to reorient the intention and release the person, giving him and himself the right to a new happiness. The search for real motives that guide the desire to return a man, will determine whether it is worth reanimating the relationship. Be extremely honest with yourself and answer the following questions:

1. I want to return him, so that justice can triumph, and he realized how much he was mistaken when he shamelessly threw the best woman in his life?
2. I want to return it, because it will disappear without me, not realizing that I really need only and I love it only me?
3. I want to return it, because without it I'm incapable of anything and not worthless to anyone?
4. I want it back so people will not say that they threw me and spread rumors that I am unworthy of such a man?
5. I want to return it, because I have never been thrown - I throw, and I'll throw it to be avenged?

None of these reasons is true love, for which it is worth fighting, and which has the right to life. However, psychologists say, such a hopeless case can be crowned with reconciliation, if you consciously and honestly give up the right to own a person, forgive him, you will not remember the past and take revenge. Unconditional love has saved many relationships.

Tips of psychologists how to return a beloved man

If your intention to return a native man is guided by real feelings, and the cause of separation is a big misunderstanding or a silly mistake, prepare to carry out serious work on the mistakes. As they say, if you do not like what you get, change what you give. It will be necessary to learn to forgive, respect and love not only the person who is dear to the heart, but also oneself. Psychologists have made a clear algorithm of actions that will help restore the love of a man who is confident that he has gone forever.

1. Taboo on the past. Still no one has been able to revive love by digging in past grievances, from which inevitable mutual claims, criticism and accusations are born. Of course, without a competent analysis of past mistakes, a qualitatively new future will not come about. However, such an analysis is appropriate only until the moment when the old story ends and a new one begins with a new blank sheet.

2. A useful pause. Any break is preceded by quarrels and clarification of relations. Debriefing is very exhausting and stresses emotions. It is impossible in this state to make balanced and wise decisions about the future. If the man is gone, let him pause. A time-out favorite is needed for reflection. Do not annoy him with calls, do not get smskami, do not fit with the decision, if it has not yet been accepted, and do not be imposed. Persecution will make him feel like a victim. The victim, as is known, always flies.
3. Love for yourself. A woman, from whom a man has left, can not afford a protracted depression. Take the time for suffering, with the absorption of sweets, shedding bitter tears and listening to sentimental compositions, and then begin the process of "uprising from the ashes." Update the wardrobe, hairstyle, shape and thoughts. Look after yourself, fill with beauty, joy and life. If a man wants to return, then only to a blooming, renewed woman who knows how to love and appreciate herself.

4. Sly "marketing". This is how a person (especially a man) works, that he wants only what is inaccessible and mysterious. Become a curious subject for a beloved man. Do yourself an advertisement, intriguing. Let the beloved know that the light did not come together on him, and an interesting, beautiful and free woman like you has admirers. Unobtrusively let him know that you are not going to meet with a friend, but with an unknown man. Answer the questions evasively and with humor, or mysteriously keep silent.
5. Stop sex. Say goodbye to the idea that a man can be returned through bed. If this were true, then sex would keep him firmly beside you on a short leash until old age. Prohibit a similar initiative when such an opportunity appears. Do not flirt with a man frankly, and do not let him think that you are available at his first call. Respect yourself, otherwise sex will be the only and short-term reason to be closer with you. Let him want to achieve you, as it happens with new, desired women.

6. Patience! And once again, patience! Everything is obtained only from those who can wait. This is a difficult task, but those who do not give up their hands before the time receive a decent reward. Under no circumstances should you show the man that you are crazy about separation and ready to give the soul to the devil for his love. Women's impatience makes of male hunters consumers who expect that for their attention the woman herself will present herself on a silver platter with a blue border. Do you need someone who will have to work all his life, fulfilling the role of men in the relationship?