The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law - the relationship between two women does not always develop in the best way. Even in folk art, for example, in proverbs and sayings, these uneasy relations are reflected (the mother-in-law on the stove, that the dog is on a chain, or - from the mother-in-law caresses you will choke with tears) where the daughter-in-law is always the injured party.
Usually at the first stages of a young family's life there is a sufficient number of conflicts with the mother-in-law. Sometimes conflicts do not stop for many years. It is difficult for the daughter-in-law to survive the constant pressure of her mother-in-law, who, from the height of her life experience, considers it possible to interfere in the life of a young family. In addition, most quarrels between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are due to the lack of convergence of views on farming, the upbringing of children, and much more. And in principle, we just need to remember the well-known truth - there are no similar people in the world, and therefore the same views.
Yes, it is not easy to be a mother-in-law, but only when you do not cease to be jealous of a son to his wife. But everything can be fine if you change your attitude towards your daughter-in-law. Yes, it's difficult, but you're a mistress and take in the house, in your family a new person. How you build the relationship from the beginning, it will. Take this woman as the one that will be, just as you care for your son. She loves him - he is good with him and he is happy. And what else does the mother need for happiness, as the realization that your child is happy. Make a daughter-in-law a daughter, and you will always be aware of all the events and will never be left alone. After all, you already have common interests - it is the care of your son, his family well-being.
How to resolve the conflict between wife and mother-in-law? Psychologists are sure that the disagreements between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are connected with a constant opposition - I or she. Whatever her daughter-in-law did, her mother-in-law is not so. The dishwasher washes wrong, it does not erase it, in one word everything is bad. Daughters and daughter-in-law are also wrong when they try to outdo their mother-in-law, and even with a show of zeal. Absolutely wrong behavior is when both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law begin to complain to their son-husband against each other. It will not lead to anything good.
If you listen to women who have lived for more than ten years in a marriage, it becomes clear that it is impossible to get an exact recipe for your relationship. We must try to just love my mother-in-law, respect her - it's she who gave birth to and raised your beloved man.
The problem is so complex that there are more questions than answers. In every family, everything is decided in its own way. It is very difficult for the daughter-in-law to enter the family and take her place, and her mother-in-law will be difficult to reconcile with this situation. Of course, ideally this is to live separately. But even then, not always, it turns out, maintain a normal relationship. And if a young family has to live under the same roof with their parents, then there is a problem of two housewives in one kitchen. And in such a family there is a question of establishing new rules of behavior, and this is not easy.
Probably a familiar situation. The first live young separately, and the overly caring mother constantly controls each step. Her interests extend to everything - health, where they are going to rest and up to the color of the wallpaper. And if such a mother-in-law lives with young people in the same house, she will constantly go without knocking into your room and do whatever she wants. Wipe the dust, cover the bed and still be offended, if no one appreciates it. The main advice to the daughter-in-law in this situation is not to go to complain to her husband about his mother. Talk to her and voice your opinion.
A man is never able to settle a conflict between two women by his mother and wife, this is the truth. In this situation, he is the injured party, the one who is faced with a choice. He will be nervous, but he will not choose. And if the choice becomes inevitable, then the marriage will fall apart.
Psychologists say - one should not approach problems in the family on the basis of the principle of right and guilty. Let's try to understand, because of what life situations there are problems in the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law.
The first - two women divide one man and the second - a place in the family, the distribution of roles, there is jealousy and a desire to eliminate the opponent. In such a situation it is necessary to agree and understand which place is occupied. It's difficult, but possible.
Here are some tips for mother-in-law, how to avoid conflicts. Respect the choice of a son, he is happy with his wife and you need to take her for who she is. Try to give your advice only when you are asked to do so. Give the opportunity to the young hostess to take place, she will still insist on her opinion, and the conflict will be inevitable. Never complain about your daughter-in-law to your son. Solve all together with the daughter-in-law, she after all on a level with you has the right to vote in the family. And when the grandchildren appear, you get the status of a grandmother. This is very responsible, but does not give you the right to take on the functions of the mother. Try to understand that you can never replace a mother with a baby. Once Marlene Dietrich said: "If you feel wings behind your shoulders, then you have a good mother-in-law" It's great if your sister-in-law has the same opinion.
And how should the daughter-in-law act, so that relations with her mother-in-law take shape. You must clearly understand that you are entering a family where there is a mistress, and certain family rules, and you need to learn how to respect them. During the dispute, keep the balance of the soul and endurance. Do not complain to your husband about your mother-in-law, this usually leads to an aggravation of the situation. Solve the conflict by yourself and do not involve a husband in it.
Do not discuss with your mother-in-law the relationship between you and your husband. Do not blame your mother-in-law for your spouse's poor upbringing. Build your relationship with him, you chose him. Respect the life experience of your mother-in-law with respect. Her advice on doing business can be useful to you. And at the birth of a child, immediately determine your first place in the child's upbringing. And do not forget about respect for the elder person.
How to resolve the conflict between wife and mother-in-law? The most important thing is not to forget to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Who is wise to do this first. Peace in the house is the most important component of women's happiness.