We all seek support from people close to us, trust them, reveal our secrets, believe that we will not be deceived. We need sincere warmth and a sense of confidence that they will support us, they will help us. We place our hopes and hopes on loved ones and let them into our lives and hearts, and sometimes we place some responsibility on them for our own destiny. And the more painful for us treachery, the closer the person who betrayed us, the more we trusted him.
Betrayal implies that there was originally an agreement that was violated, and even behind it. This is a violation of trust in important things for people. In fact, any betrayal is treason. Simply not necessarily physically, but also morally. And it always happens unexpectedly, betrayal can not be fully anticipated.
If you are betrayed, then emotions are often overwhelmed. For example, a woman was changed by her husband. All her thoughts and actions will be dictated by ruffled emotions. Today she is looking for the reasons for his betrayal, digging in himself, looking for his own shortcomings, blaming himself for his betrayal. Tomorrow she hates him, she considers a mean traitor, who destroyed a happy marriage. Then she regrets herself, remembers what a good wife she was, how much effort she put into this marriage, she cries, falls into depression. Then, under the influence of these thoughts, she begins to look for him, call him, blame, threaten, curse, cry, beg to return, etc., depending on the situation. This is a wrong behavior, because the problem remains unresolved, the woman is even more confused, the tangle of her feelings and emotions she can not unravel. It is necessary to try to solve the problem, it will help get rid of the experience. Before anything to do, you need to calm down and think with a "cold" head, and not break the heat in the heat, and then rake out the consequences of what was done under the influence of a surge of emotions.
If you are betrayed, you need to try to survive this pain, forgive a person and let go of the situation. You need to think about yourself, about your interests and desires. If you shared hopes and dreams with those who betrayed you, release them and forget them.
Not only does the very fact of betrayal hurt you, but even just thoughts about this betrayal. Try to change your view of the situation and thoughts about it, tk. You can not change what happened. Try to replace the evil thoughts with thoughts of pity for the traitor and disregard for him.
Do not hold back your emotions. Spill out the negative in an acceptable way, for example, cry, scream, write a malicious letter and burn it, beat the pillow, talk to the person you trust, go to the reception to the psychologist. Those. first of all you must rid yourself of all the negativity that has sat down in your soul, which will undermine you, spoil your mood, health, and disturb your peace of mind. All resentments, bitterness, hatred that you did not work with and that did not get out, will destroy you from the inside.
Try to reconsider the situation on the part of your cheater. Sometimes it helps to survive betrayal. Become a traitor in place, try to understand his motives. Maybe a man was just mistaken, but he did not act out spitefully to you. It is much easier to forgive someone who was just wrong than someone who acted on purpose and with malice. As life shows, any ugly act often has a sad motive and is dictated by some weakness of a person. And then the confluence of circumstances, time, place and people completes the matter. And the weak are also easier to forgive than the villains.
And what if the unpardonable happened? If this is not a mistake and not a weakness, but intentional evil actions of a person towards you? You are angry with the traitor, with yourself and with your gullibility. Perhaps you even think about revenge. But the thirst for revenge is a destructive feeling. In addition, in a fit of anger, many people want revenge, but, as they say, revenge is a dish that must be served cold. Therefore, leave the thought of revenge, the more it is unlikely to help, because it will not abolish the fact that you have behaved badly.
To forgive even the unforgivable, try to understand what made a person do this to you. What did you do to him so bad that he decided to harm you? Since this is a close person, it means that he must have serious reasons. A close person can not just do it deliberately. Perhaps you also did him evil once? Think about what you could do and when. If you find an answer, ask for forgiveness for that part of the evil that you caused. You will feel better.
In a difficult life situation, especially if you can not cope, a good idea will be a course of psychotherapy. The psychologist will help you understand yourself, in your emotions and feelings, tell you how to survive a difficult period of life.
Try to forgive the traitor and forget. Think about that now you will not communicate with a mean liar, dishonest person, treacherous friend or spouse (oh), which is good, because you will not be surrounded by bad people. Look at the situation from a different angle. If your spouse has changed (a), you will no longer be led by the nose, now you have a chance to meet a really good person, faithful and loving. If you betrayed a friend, it's good that you found out now, and not in a more serious life situation, that he can not be trusted.
The main thing is that in the future you will not stop trusting people. Of course, it is worth thinking about whether the person is worthy to be trusted and opened, but if you completely shut yourself off from people, then you will be unhappy. A person who can not trust anyone, suffers first of all himself. You can not live without support, support and trust. But just in case, you know how to survive the betrayal of a loved one.
Sincerely I wish you to find a man worthy of your trust!