The behavior of the mother in relation to his daughter's boy is largely guided by her attitude directly to the daughter herself. Yes, yes, even in this seemingly identical feeling, called maternal love, people have cardinally opposite lines of behavior.
Here, remember your mother's behavior towards you in different periods of life. How did she show her feelings toward you? Was she ready to do whatever she wanted for her daughter?
Of course, very few people will say openly that her mother is a rather cold and unemotional person, that she hid all her life behind the mask of a rather tough and peremptory person. Although this happens, and not so rare, as it would be desirable. Why is this happening? The reasons can be quite a lot - starting with the natural restraint, which from everyday life smoothly flows into personal, ending with some circumstances that made a woman become stricter and more severe. Perhaps this is some kind of personal injury, reflected in this way on her attitude towards her children. Not the point. The main thing - if you know that your mother has been afraid all her life to openly show her feelings - this can affect her attitude towards your boyfriend.
An adult woman, a mother, considers herself a wise life experience - and this is indeed so. More precisely, it is true that she had many cases that would help her to acquire this most priceless experience. But whether she took advantage of these chances - this is strictly individual.
Let's say your mother had problems with men in her time (perhaps even with your father). How then will she behave in case you come home with your boyfriend? There are two main options.
First of them: all the time getting to know your new boyfriend, mom behaves quite adequately. Perhaps she even cutely smiles at his timid attempts to set up a cheerful atmosphere of the meeting. He offers him a cup of tea with her signature pie. But not anymore. In her eyes, even he will be able to read the efforts that your mother is making to not "fly off the coils." But when your young man closes the door - you have to listen to a lot of "charm" about your chosen one. If your mother is inclined to generalize, you will surely hear that "they all want only girls from girls" and "he is too handsome to keep loyalty to you - I suppose, and now he went to his neighbor". In this case, you better keep cool, and not make a scandal. Try gently convincing your mother that your boyfriend is a good person. It will be great if you give her an example of a few wonderful things that characterize your boyfriend as a person who loves and cares. Arrange mother response "analysis of flights" is not necessary - firstly, from this her feelings towards your boyfriend will not change. And, secondly, she's your mother, she worries about you and does not want you at her tender age (and the age of children for their parents is always gentle) did not run into trouble. This does not mean that your mother should receive absolute disobedience, because it can offend her. But to throw her in the face of the phrase that she is wrong, is also not necessary. Over the years of life together you had to find those strings of the mother's soul, on which you can play without fear of hurting. Prove to her that her experiences are in vain. Show that you care about her words. Try to avoid conflict - and, perhaps, in the future it will treat your dad's boyfriend much more loyally.
Another option for developing your first acquaintance with your mother is to meet with a violent and unpleasant development of events. It's no secret that among both men and women there are so-called dictators who are very fond of setting their own rules and are not afraid to subvert the opinion of the whole family. Such people are slightly unbalanced, they do not know how to behave themselves and prefer to express everything in their faces that they think. And if in some situations it's even good, then before you lead to the guy's mom, you should think carefully.
Does he fit in a bit with her notions of a decent man? If so, you will not need to prepare the soil for a long time. Probably, if you see a sleek man in a jacket with a bouquet of chic roses casually playing with the keys of the car, your mother will melt and not say anything against him. But this happens very rarely - no one tries to please motherly tastes when it comes to feelings. Therefore, long before you schedule an acquaintance, start a strategic campaign to prepare both the mother and the guy for a very delicate meeting.
Mother should tell about her chosen one that she will approve in any case. After all, he's not her boyfriend. And to know any negative traits of a guy's character is simply not necessary. She would find what she was hanging on without. But the guy needs to prepare for the fact that beyond the threshold of your house he can expect a flurry of emotions, and not necessarily pleasant. Advise him a certain line of behavior, through which it will be possible to avoid conflict. But act very subtly: you do not have to pre-set them against each other. Therefore, tell the knight about what kind of monster your mother may be, you do not need to - suddenly get scared and change your mind? In the end, if the situation is really complicated, you can limit their communication, or even reduce them to zero by deleting all the intersection points.
But there are also such girls who can safely say that they were lucky with their mother. No, I do not mean that those whose mothers have a complex character are unlucky. But from the guy's point of view, it's much nicer there, where you are at least respected in absentia, and not looking for a reason for the pods.
If you have had a trusting and friendly relationship with your mother since childhood - it's great! If you already shared with her experiences about the boys in school and found only support and help from her - you can think that you have nothing to worry about. Very often mothers who do not have boys find sons in their daughter's chosen one. And then the guy does not "wave away" from the constant care and care of your mother. In such cases, they have a fairly warm relationship, sometimes even causing jealousy in you! But this should still make you happy!
But if the situations described above are more relevant to the borderline between the mother and the daughter of a daughter, there is also a neutral attitude, which is also often welcomed by men. Your mother just will not express her thoughts about your chosen one, she will accept his appearance as a reality and will treat him exactly, just like a friend. It is possible that you will not like it - but it is much better than when you are constantly at home setting up against a loved one.
And in general, we can say that in many ways the behavior of the mother and her attitude towards the guy depends on you. More precisely, from how you present her information about him, what kind of image will form in advance in her head. But you do know your mother, you know what she always wanted for you - so if you do everything accurately and skillfully, then the relationship between mom and boy will develop normally. Maybe without special love, but without enmity - but the enmity between two important and close people never leads to anything good. You do not want to lose them both, do you? ..