Sometimes in our lives there are tragedies. We are all mortal, and this can not be avoided. Having lost a child, each of the parents should know that life after the death of the child has not stopped. But how to survive the death of a child?
At this point, you will need the support, strength and strength of the spirit. The death of a child is a great loss for each of us, but it is doubly difficult when you realize that you have lost a part of your life.
It is necessary to try to get distracted from this grief and realizing the gratuitousness of loss is determined by life priorities. To do this, you need to distribute the child's things to social shelters. And in memory of himself and his relatives need to leave a few dear to the heart trinkets. You also need to do with photos.
Switch your attention and care to another child in the family or to grandchildren, if you have one. A lot of consolation can be found by doing something. Try to occupy yourself with such a thing, than you did not dare to do before, for which there was never enough time. Do not abuse church going or throw yourself into a new religion, it can be a lamentable end. If you feel yourself strong, take a child from the orphanage. Then in the house there will come a holiday and for that baby, and for you, to him you can return unspent love and in the future he will be a support for you.
The person who survived the death of the child remains alone with this grief. The surrounding will be there and help him, but they will avoid talking about death. And the sense of support that they have will be reduced to the 2-nd phrase "Life goes on," "Be strong".
To control your mental state, you need to know the stages of grief. That will help to understand, whether you were late in one of them and then you will have to turn to professionals.
The first stage is shock and numbness
In it you can not accept loss and do not believe in it. People behave differently, freeze from grief, try to forget themselves in organizing funerals. A person does not understand where and why he is, who he is. And then massage procedures, soothing tinctures will help. Do not remain alone, if you can, cry. This stage lasts 9 days.
Stage of negation
It lasts up to 40 days, you already understand your loss, but consciousness can not accept it. During this period, people hear the voice and the steps of the departed child. If he dreams, ask him to come to you, talk to him in a dream. Remember him, talk about him with friends and relatives. During this period, frequent tears are considered the norm, but they should not last for days. If this condition does not pass, you need to turn to a psychologist.
The next period lasts up to 6 months after death. During this period comes the awareness of pain and acceptance of loss. It is then weakened, then intensified. After 3 months there will be an aggression "You left me" and the feeling of guilt "I could not save you", aggression can be transferred to the state, to friends of the son, to doctors, this is normal, but it is necessary that aggression does not drag out and these feelings did not become predominant.
Some relief will occur by the year after the death of the child. And if you can manage your grief, then these feelings will not be so much exacerbated as on the day of the tragedy.
If you have experienced all the stages, by the end of the second year the process of mourning is completed. You will not forget the deceased child, but learn to live without it, sadness will not always be accompanied by tears. You will have incentives for life, new goals and new plans. No matter how painful and I would like to do something with myself, remember that there are people to whom you are dear. You need to take care of yourself for them. We must live, because it is easier to die.