How early is the feeling of jealousy in the human soul, and on what, to whom is it drawn? First of all, for the emergence of jealousy, it is necessary to clearly understand one's own "I", the isolation of one's own personality from all the diversity of the world comprehended by man.
The feeling of universal attention to oneself is peculiar to every kid, beloved in his own family, and child-like open to comprehending the world around him. Understanding that next to your "I" exist "I" of other people with their own interests, and also in their own way interesting, comes somewhat later. Intuitively, the child feels such a complicated organization of the surrounding world at the age of two or three. This is where the ground for the first childish jealousy arises.
Jealousy for the parent of the opposite sex
The child takes seriously the world of fairy tales, many of which tell how the main characters got married and lived happily ever after. Trying on the role of fairy-tale characters, the kid looks around himself for the most fabulous, the best life partner in the world. Awareness of yourself as a boy or girl, not quite yet formed, nevertheless allows you to make an unerring choice in favor of your own mother or father, respectively.
The parent of the opposite sex is perceived, as a result of such fitting the social role of the groom or the bride as a "competitor". And if boys can distract from an accidentally arising thought an active game, cognitive activity, fuss with peers in the sandbox, then girls for whom the emotional, sensual sphere is much more important, often in full manifest such "strange" jealousy.
The explanation that "your dad is also the husband of the mother" can stumble upon a stubborn objection, with tears: "No, Dad is my husband!" What does it mean to be a husband? A little girl, of course, does not understand. For her, the words "Daddy is my husband" mean the same as the phrase "This is my dad!", Said in front of other little girls. In these words - just a fear that the pope can take away, deprive all the fullness of communication with your loved one.
General family holidays, where no one expresses a demonstrative attachment to anyone, but there is an atmosphere of mutual mutual care, joint joy, will help to pass this difficult period of the child's growing painlessly. Do not forget to give more attention to the child, to embrace him, to stroke him, to stroke his head, to say affectionate, encouraging words, and to do these simple parental "things" mostly not alone, but together, so that the child maintains a strong family unity in which there is no place for jealousy , envy, unhealthy primacy of some in front of others.
Jealousy of a baby born later in the family
This, as a rule, does not happen if the children are pawned, because even before awakening the awareness of their "I" get used to a joint existence. In all other cases, it somehow manifests itself and needs a certain prevention, while the expected baby lives with the mother in the tummy. It is necessary to explain to the child that he is the senior, the main one, that he will teach everything to the brother or sister, help, show in everything an example. Awareness of one's own importance will greatly weaken the factor of emerging jealousy. If, after taking care of the newborn, we will not forget to devote enough time to the older child (the father takes it by the handles, while the mother is busy feeding the baby, the mother plays with the eldest while the father is cradling the baby), there will be no occasion for jealousy.
Jealousy for encroaching on their own toys
Concerning toys, it is enough to explain that they are not taken forever by peers and except for those who are especially dear to the heart, the breakdown or damage of which would be perceived by the baby as a personal tragedy, gradually accustomed to the idea of a joint game, to accept as completely natural actions such verbs as " , give a play. "