"You now like the freedom - while young," Lena's school friend told me, soaping herself to marry our common classmate Vladik. - and another 5-6 years - and that's it! To you the guys will not be glued, it will be indecent to go to discos ... No one will marry any more. Are not you afraid of loneliness ?!
"So," I concluded, "I still have 5-6 happy years. And now you are putting yourself under lock and key.
Ten years have passed since then. Strange as it may seem, I'm still young. Guys, however, no longer glued: they replaced the solid presentable men (unfortunately, not always idle). At the disco and really do not go (except in the resorts), but for 10 years in the country appeared and extremely multiplied nightclubs and simple restaurants, where an adult, an independent woman may well go ... Lenka I have not seen the whole five-year plan: she has two children, and I have new friends, work and a lot of things. Vadik I meet quite regularly in one of the nightclubs. He comes there with his colleague (as far as I understand, Lena does not know). And I'm not at all wary of the question: is loneliness a misfortune or the happiness of a modern woman? But…
Am I afraid of loneliness? As a feature - in principle I'm afraid, but I do not really believe in it. That is, I, of course, can imagine the situation: the door jammed, the phone was disconnected, and under the windows, as luck would have it, no one goes - neither to talk nor to help ... I would have read books for three days or slept, I hope someone from relatives, friends or employees would remember that I have not called for a long time (I did not go in for a chat, did not take the article in time). And they would have found me. In general, loneliness in a modern metropolis is impossible. And even in a small town it is impossible, and even in a village. Because in our time any work is communication. And study - communication, and the solution of any everyday problems - also communication (albeit not always pleasant). And now imagine in the same situation - in a locked apartment - a married woman. Husband, let's say, went on a business trip with his colleague ... Or, okay, let him, too, be locked up in the apartment. Let's even say that in three days relatives were worried ... Although it is unlikely, because married women do not communicate with relatives very often, and your three-day absence will therefore not be a signal of alarm. In a week colleagues will begin to worry. They will call your disconnected phone all day long, and then they will decide: "If something terrible happened, her husband would have called!", They will entrust your assignment to someone else, they will deduct from you from their salary - and they will also calm down. The friends will start up the last (if they are still there), but judiciously judging that the two of you will not be lost, they will return to their business. And it will be absolute, unconditional, impenetrable loneliness. Even if in the apartment you are immured with your husband.
7 Reasons for envy.
Domestic girls, brought up in the traditions of house construction, are called single-handedly unmarried. They sincerely believe that loneliness should be suffered, and try to marry at least somebody. The famous Khayyamov "it's better to starve than anything to eat, and it's better to be alone than with anyone" - this is not for us. God forbid! I do not call for avoiding marriage bonds. If people can not live without each other, then, of course, they need to be together. But marriage on the principle of "to be" ... Better honestly answer to yourself the question: what does a married woman have, what would you not have?
The answer suggests itself: the husband. And more specifically?
1. She has someone to talk to after work. Ow it! It's not for nothing that psychologists advise: do not bother with a man after work, let him rest ... And the same man then becomes fainted because his wife "hangs" on the phone. And you do not have anyone to be ugly: hang on the phone as much as you want - at least with a girlfriend, at least with a lover.
2. She has someone to take care of. A doubtful argument. But if he really bothers you, get a kitten.
3. The husband brings money to the house. Is not a fact! Modern men often take out of the house what their wife brought. And who is the one who prevents you from working and earning?
4. With the husband it is not terrible to walk on the night streets: he pushes at the mug to anyone who offends his wife. Firstly, the longer a woman is married, the less often she has to walk the night streets: family ladies are not up to parties. And secondly, supermen usually do not marry, and husbands - alas! - as a rule, not supermen. So at you - cheerful and free - much more chances to walk on a night street under the handle with the muscular giant, capable to give on a muzzle to anybody.
5. A legitimate husband is regular sex. Just married women often suffer from sexual dissatisfaction and can not do anything: her husband wants less and less with age. Unlike them, you are not forbidden to ask at night for a friend, invite a colleague to visit or buy a vibrator.
6. Guys at work do not discuss a married woman by the eyes ... Another reason to be glad that she did not contact any of these men.
7. There will be no one to give me a glass of water in old age! O the eternal cry of women of all times! .. On average, a woman in Russia lives 14 years longer than a man. So with glasses most likely it is necessary to run to it.
How to use loneliness?
• Loneliness is not absolute. People around you always have to learn how to communicate with them and enjoy it. If after work and finding out the relationship with your friends you feel the need to cry out to someone else for life (tell a joke, ask a question from the field of quantum physics), you can hang out in the clubs of beer lovers (collectors of stamps, Stalin's admirers), or correspond online with the professor Eton University.
• Loneliness is not an objective situation. This is the inability to communicate. Never interrupt relationships with relatives and friends of youth: husbands come and go, but they stay.
• Loneliness is a wide circle of communication. If you are not bound by obligations, then you should not under anybody adjust your mood or your tastes.
• Loneliness is the absence of chatter. Learned to speak, a man forgot how to think. As soon as he comes up with a thought, he hurries to throw out his thoughts to others ... But if there were not others around, the thought would remain in my head and grow to the size of an ideology or a scientific concept. A person who knows how to think, does not get bored with himself.
• Loneliness is the path to fame. Because if you've already turned your thoughts enough in your lonely head - sit down and write them down. Very many women - from Zinaida Gippius to Alexandra Marinina - made a name for themselves and their fortunes on books.
• Loneliness is an opportunity to build a career and earn money. Because if you think about work at work, and not about where to buy sausages, then the authorities will notice it.
Do you regret that you are still single? That all the friends are already ow where, and you're all here? .. But you know that everything described above is the truth. And to argue here is useless, how useless it is to regret yourself again and again. Although sometimes I would like to. But if, knowing all this, you still suddenly feel a deaf animal appetite and want to howl at the moon or rush to call a dating service - just look in the calendar. Perhaps you only have premenstrual syndrome.