Among other things, the school for the child is the place where he first remains for some, albeit small, time without adult supervision, along with his classmates. But what if the relations with classmates do not add up? If other children are not friends and comrades, but a source of anxiety and even danger?
The problem of violence in school in recent years is particularly acute. And all parents need to think about what can be done to avoid children's conflicts. First of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the situation in the family. Most often the victim of violence in school is a child, in whose family often there are quarrels, where communication is common in elevated tones. Children who grow up in such conditions acquire this model of behavior as standard and automatically transfer it to a new environment, which makes communication difficult.
If the family has powerful, authoritarian parents who completely suppress the will of their child and take all decisions for him, then such a child also falls into the category of children, most often subjected to ridicule and even battering classmates.
So, first of all, pay attention to what the atmosphere inside the family is, maybe this was the prerequisite for your child's uneasy relationship with classmates.
However, conflicts often occur in children from well-off families, especially if your child is special: different from other children by height, weight, unusual appearance, or simply certain features of character and behavior. Attacks at school may be too small, too high, too full or too thin, red-haired, naughty, too shy or too touchy child. But even if your kid does not have any of these features, it is still worth asking what your child's relationship with the rest of the children is. If you find out that your son or daughter has become the object of ridicule, you must immediately intervene in the situation, because ridicule often grow into a more serious problem - child abuse. It is necessary to carefully study the behavior of the child in the early days of school. It is not necessarily an open harassment or violence, it can be a passive aversion (unwillingness to sit at one desk, play in the same team) or ignoring the child (ignore him, ignore him). All this traumatizes children no less than nagging and ridicule.
How can we confront children's conflicts in school and help the child?
Many of the parents in this situation offer the child to cope on their own, in order to develop independence in it. If this is just a small conflict with someone from classmates who does not lead to serious consequences, this can be a really good method. However, if the problem is deeper and the child is in confrontation with a large group of children or with the whole class, he can not do without the help of parents and a teacher.
There is also a reverse decision - to go and settle the conflict by yourself. In such a situation, parents can scold hooligans, which leads to negative consequences: offenders begin to threaten their victim with reprisals for reporting the conflict to their parents. Attempts by parents to understand the situation with the parents of the abusers, too, often lead to nothing.
Psychologists in this difficult situation are advised to teach the child to protect themselves. And we do not mean physical strength, because force methods are usually ineffective against moral violence. Although of course sometimes playing sports can be the best way out: for example, if your child is teased because of excess weight or embarrassment, playing sports can help him develop strength, agility, lose weight and gain self-confidence. But most importantly - to teach the child to respect himself as a person, only in this case the child will be able to make others respect him. And in this you must also help him. The child realizes his individuality through self-awareness "like everyone else". In this sense, sometimes it is useful to go with him on occasion: if a child is embarrassed by something of his clothes, and he wants it to be "like a kid's," try to do as he wishes - most likely, it will give him confidence in itself. But this does not mean that it is necessary to fulfill all the whims, there must be a measure in everything.
Help your child make friends with classmates. Ask him, in which sections, circles his new companions go. Maybe your baby will be interested in some of them. This is an excellent opportunity to make friends with other children on the basis of common interests. Also encourage communication between children outside school, maybe it's worth inviting some guys to their homes from time to time. Particularly well in bringing together children's school or classroom activities. Control the participation of your child in such activities.
It is parents who can best teach the child to communicate with peers, give him a model of correct behavior, teach to stand up for oneself and fight back. But do not try to solve all conflicts alone. In difficult situations, when a child has become an outcast in the classroom, it makes sense to involve teachers, a class teacher and psychologists in solving the problem. Joint efforts will necessarily lead to success and your child will become a full-fledged member of the team, find friends and feel comfortable in school.
Now you know what to do if the child is offended in primary school by classmates, psychologist's advice.