What is love?
It is difficult to understand what love is. Someone calls it a disease, someone a chemical reaction. But they and others will not argue that love causes a strong desire to be close to the person who turned out to be the most cherished half. For what? In order to give away part of yourself or take back the second missing part? Psychologists say that this desire to become a happy way of owning another person is nothing more than the recognition of one's inferiority, the presence of a variety of personal problems that can and should be solved.
Impossible love.
There is an opinion that the desire to get your unattainable love, endowing it with nonexistent properties comes from the fact that there are not enough experiences of real life in the soul. Remember the hard times, when the mind and soul are busy with the solution of important tasks, love goes to the background, it becomes not so necessary. Therefore, one of the first steps in the way of overcoming the torment because of impossible love is the education of love for oneself. You need to give yourself your own love, to allow yourself the right to a happy and self-sufficient life, to allow yourself to be free from anything, including from the dependence of impossible love.
Suffering in joy?
Numerous life stories have taught most people that happiness is possible only when there is a loved one nearby. And if there is a situation when this presence is impossible, they begin to suffer and convince themselves of their inferiority, unhappy fate. Psychologists often note the situation when a person enjoys his suffering, replacing the impossible love with the pity of the surrounding people. So they get the attention they wanted from a loved one. In fact, it is very important to understand and understand what drives the feelings of the unfortunate person. True love or the desire to attract attention, fill the emptiness of the soul with anything, including suffering, erected in the cult?
It's no secret that adults, despite their age, continue to play games. Although most of these games are far from being childish. With all the reluctance, they, becoming adults, fall under the dependence of parental patterns of behavior, imitating them unconsciously and in adulthood. If the child was brought up, looking at the suffering and experiences of unhappy love, then, being an adult, he will not be able to recognize the true feeling, and will perform a memorized scenario of experiencing about impossible love whenever such an opportunity presents itself. Perhaps, there was no real love, and the experience will necessarily be. In this case, the absence of relations is replaced by an idealized image of the beloved. The complete lack of partner's shortcomings, love with which is impossible, turns it into a painfully inaccessible peak, on which happiness will overwhelm with the head and give unearthly pleasure. However, almost always in real life, the relationship between two loving people has difficulties. It is possible that, with a favorable combination of circumstances, your mutual real love would not last as long as an idealized inaccessible feeling. This indicates that a person experiences about something that never was and could not be, that is, he himself thinks up a reason for his experiences and sufferings, and then himself (and with pleasure) surrenders to this negative feeling.
It turns out that all the experiences about impossible love - this is dislike. Dislike for yourself, for the object of your lust, for life. The true feeling of love is the ability to give, not the need to take. If the knowledge that you bring up dislike is not enough for you to get rid of this feeling, then it is worthwhile to turn to several other methods.
Psychologist's advice.
- Look at your story from the side. To do this, get acquainted with similar stories of other people and try to understand how another person managed to defeat a negative feeling. You can analyze the fate of famous personalities, actors, artists.
- Do self-hypnosis. For this, in the morning and in the evening, every day must repeat a set of short sentences, which include positive moments: "I'm happy. I am free. I am open to life. " Try not just to pronounce the phrase, but to feel it. Really feel let fleeting, short-term, but still happiness, freedom, the rhythm of life.
- To be engaged in a relaxation. It will help to relieve the burden of experience, relax. To do this, you can imagine that inside you is a warm, gentle light. Concentrating, it is necessary to achieve amplification of luminescence. At this point, you can catch just the state that can not demand love, and give it.
- Learning to give your love is unrequited, not necessarily an object of lust, but simply to other people, children, relatives, loved ones. Give love, release it into the world, and it will come back to you reinforced many times. A loving person has a huge energy potential, this is a creative feeling.
If you find it difficult to cope with your experiences on your own, contact a psychologist. Life is multifaceted, beautiful and amazing. It continues. It would be a great mistake to deprive ourselves of all the charms of life only because of a feeling of impossible love. After all, for a person there is always a feeling of love, it is important only to open yourself to him, let go of the pain and allow yourself to be happy and enjoy life. Now you know what true love is, and the advice of psychologists should help you if your feelings do not find reciprocity.
Finally it is worth recalling that love is light, this is absolute happiness. It can not become "impossible", because no one is ever able to forbid you to love and give love. True, bright love inspires man even when the object of this love remains physically inaccessible forever.