Today, six months of my love affair with Andrei Sergeyevich. He turned out to be generous, he called me "pimple", first he gave me a wheelbarrow, then an apartment, and I do not have anything to say about all sorts of things. For all this I even fell in love with his well-fed fat body, his little eyes and good heart, in general. My uncle had a wife, two offspring of my age, but for his complete understanding of the customs of "branded dudes" there was not enough of a mistress. Andrew said so - "hectic", and it was impossible to convince him. We met at a restaurant, where I walked, and I sweated in waitresses. On that day my uncle beckoned me with a thick finger and asked me on the forehead:
"Do you want to live like a king, chicken?"
- And pull? - I asked with a frank mockery in my voice.
- Offending! - he sighed, and only later I realized that this man did not throw words into the wind: he said - in a royal way, so it will be so.
Oh, and great after this waiter's poverty, tweaks for the ass and vulgar offers to be in a two-room apartment on the twenty-fourth floor of a new house. The whole city is in the palm of your hand, and looking at everything from top to bottom - this, I tell you, is such a pleasure! Months and a half I did not leave the house at all, every day, suspiciously considering expensive furniture, a lot of electrical appliances, soft carpets and beautiful clothes in the closet.
Is this really all mine? My uncle frowned enough, watching my sincere delight, and, it seemed, was still warmed by the desire to surprise me with his generosity. But after six months of a sweet and idle life, I noticed some strange changes in the behavior of my lover. Andrew somehow sulked, became taciturn, came in less often, and even more to cope, if I'm all right and do not need anything else.
The instinct of responsibility for the domesticated of the uncle was frenzied, and this gave confidence that his bad mood was temporary and that he would not leave me. But the days passed, and Andrei continued to play the role of father. This had its advantages, for though for all his generosity I fell in love with his friable body, but in fact, not with my heart, but with the mind! Finally, the alarm bothered so much that after finding a private detective in the newspaper, she agreed to meet at once.
A thin little man appeared at her with an ordinary gray appearance, silently, twirled Andrei Sergeyevich's photograph in his hands and said dryly:
"In a week you will have complete information." Advance payment now! She laid out a pile of green bills, and the detective vanished. A week later he was sitting in front of me and talking, and I was at that time leafing through a thick folder with a bunch of photographs and some kind of notes.
"The main news for you is that the object has a heifer," the detective said.
"He surprised me too," I whimpered in surprise. "I already know that." I, sorry, and there is his calf. Soon the anniversary ...
"No," he winced, as if from a toothache. "It's not about you!" Do you really think that I'm a pitiful lover?
- Stop! - it dawned upon me. - From this place in more detail. Does Andrei Sergeyevich have one more mistress ?! Can not...
"As much as he can!" He cut dryly. - Krasnopolskaya Venus Ivanovna, twenty years old, student, future historian. Over the last week we met, worked seven times, that is, every day. The object has been purchased.
While I was thinking what to do with the rival, the detective scratched his head and laid out another unpleasant news:
- More ... Against the facility, the authorities are preparing to initiate criminal proceedings.
- For what? I almost fell off my chair.
- Yes, as usual for such money bags: bribes, tax evasion. Nothing unusual...
- What to do? I asked helplessly. "You can do something, can not you?"
- And this is no longer me. However, if there is a need, please contact. I'll tell you the address of a decent lawyer, who is skilled on protecting the nouveaux riches. The detective worked for glory. I learned even what I did not want to know. "Well, you, uncle, got into trouble," thought, examining the photographs and studying copies of documents from the folder. At last the look stopped at the pictures of the cute funny girl. "So that's what you are!" Too me, Venus de Milo! And than only did your parents think? Venus Ivanovna! And what did you find in it, Uncle Andrey ?! "All night I smoked, blowing smoke into the ceiling, and could not figure out what to do next. The generous sponsor of my glorious carefree life was torn from my hands: the prosecutor's office pulled one way, Venusa Ivanovna - to the other. And still it is not known which of these evils was more evil. In the morning I jumped up to the light, not dawn, rushed to the address where the new passion of my generous lover was living. The girl was going to the institute and through the door answered that she does not know any Andrei Sergeevich, and even me - even more so. I stood under the door and waited, when Venerka Ivanovna was forced, will go out to get to the institute.
She carefully opened the door , I pushed a leg into the crack and warned:
- Listen, you, Ivanovna! You should still listen to me. Especially since I'm not my uncle's wife, but all the opposite.
- To what uncle? Andryusha? She squeaked, and I laughed.
- So then, girlfriend! - I reasoned. - Our business with you - is nowhere worse. Uncle, that is, Andryusha, shines for ten to fifteen years. Plus full confiscation. He, of course, a couple of millions for a rainy day somewhere will remain, but we are with you from this, neither cold nor hot. We are with you from this - one sadness. Do you understand?
"I understand," Venus blurted out softly.
"For all his kindness towards me, I, of course, will warn him of the danger." But, on the other hand, do you imagine how much money a person will be taken by the state? A lot of! Therefore, our task is to pump some of the contents of the pockets of the uncle, that is, Andryusha, into ours. And it is safer for him, and for us - good! At us with you still all life ahead, it agree?
"I agree," she squealed in the same plaintive voice, and then she asked: "So I have not one love from Andryusha?"
"That's right," Venka said, doomed. - And what should I do?
- Firstly, Andryusha should not know that we are acquainted with you. Secondly, we need to come up with the versions according to which in the very near future we will need serious money. For example, I'm taking a sick relative for treatment abroad, and you ... Tell me that I'm pregnant. Although no! Abortion is all. Let's do it: you were offered an internship at the institute, but you need at least twenty thousand. Is it going? Look, do not mix it up! At me - sick relatives, at you - training for a hillock.
- Thank you. I'm so grateful to you! Venka whispered naively, although my determined eye identified from the first minute: she plays a girl in a simpleton, she is not so naive and stupid, otherwise she would not have contacted the uncle for anything.
- Thank you? I laughed. "No, Venus Ivanovna." I'm interested in something else. For good advice - you give me half of twenty thousand. Remember, you'll have to joke about jokes - you will not get anything. I do not like this!
And I threw pictures on the table, where Venka in the most unambiguous poses embraced our common uncle.
"That's not all," she warned.
She became natural for a second , evil narrowed her eyes, but then she slammed them and whispered: "Yes that I ... Never! And will you keep me posted? "" But what about? "- I assured the competitor and left her still a new monastery. The next day my uncle called and said that he would be coming soon. I rushed to the bathroom, rubbed my eyes with cold water and looked at myself in the mirror with satisfaction: as if I sobbed for two days without rest.
- Chicken, what happened to you? - Uncle asked anxiously, seeing my frightened and frustrated face.
- Oh, Andryushka! So scary! - and I really burst into tears of fear that I could not really cry. "Can I sell this apartment?"
- What do you mean? - the uncle was surprised; "Tell me this very minute what happened!"
- My nephew needs an urgent operation abroad, otherwise the boy may die. Horror!
- How many? He asked without sentiment. - How much money do you need?
"Already fifty thousand dollars," I said, and my heart stopped instantly: did I frighten an uncle or sold it cheap?
"Somehow all at once ..." he sighed.
"Does anyone else have a grief?" I asked, pretending that I did not understand anything.
- No, it's just ... Well, it does not matter.
I'll give you some money, chicken. Only do not cry, the sun! The next day, faithful to his word, as an officer of noble blood, the uncle tumbled into my apartment and laid out thick bundles of money on the table. Wow!
"It's sixty thousand dollars," he said, moving the money toward me.
"Andrei, but you need fifty for the operation," I said, clapping my eyes.
- Oh, you, dite! He sighed. "It's only an operation-fifty." And the road, and food, and accommodation ...
- Oh, I did not think, - I sighed, wondering: yes it's gold!
A day later I called this Venka and immediately stated:
"Listen, Miloslavskaya-Krasnopolskaya!" You have the money, I know it. Prepare for me, I'll come right now!
She did not open the door at once, and I, winking suspiciously around, came in.
No, Vernka's terrible accomplices or hired assassins were not seen. She counted out ten thousand.
- You should not be so! I'm a decent man! And you would not have deceived you for anything!
"And perhaps, you want to remain a free man for the rest of your life," I continued her thought.
- What do you have in mind? She made a frown.
"And, my dear, that you can arrest your uncle, that is, your beloved Andrew, from day to day." Personally, I already collected my belongings and tomorrow I depart to warm regions for a month or two. And I advise you to do the same. Or do you think people will not come to you in uniform?
"Really ..." Venus was upset. "But the institute ... What am I to do?"
- And this, darling, decide for yourself.
On the morning of the next day, the answering machine of the telephone in her apartment answered all the terrified voice of Venus herself: "Venus Krasnopolskaya at this address no longer lives." "Oh, and fast girl!" - admired her agility. I coped with one. It remained to eliminate the second danger, here without Andrew, who wanted only good, well, you can not do without.
He came the day after Venusa's departure. Upset this.
- Well, how is your tribe, you got a pimple? He asked sadly. - Have you been operated on?
"I lied about my nephew," I said. "Sit down, Andryusha, we need to talk seriously."
"Well, well," he said, still sad. "Now you too ... What a surprise?"
- Andrew, tell me honestly: you are upset because of Venus? I asked.
- How do you know that? - Uncle opened his mouth in surprise. Too me, macho! VIP bison! Edison erogenous zones!
"Andryusha, let me tell you everything in order." So it is. The lady calls to me and offers to meet. It is represented by your mistress Venus Krasnopolskaya. He says some papers to me and says that Andrei Sergeyevich will be imprisoned, I say, I give you ten thousand for you to disappear from the horizon. Like, you're the safer it will be, and, he says, it's easier.
And then I realized: the young lady decided to search in your pocket, I did not take the money from her, but she bought the paper. She was greedy, she demanded five thousand. Well, I'm one of the sixty that you gave to the treatment of your nephew, and unfastened. Here they are, Andryusha! You need to think about yourself now. And take your fifty-five thousand dollars back. It will be better for everyone! The uncle looked at me stupefiedly, then took the documents and for a long time went into their study. When he could not see anything new in them, he crumpled and furiously threw the papers into the trash can.
- The chicken! It's past affairs. I have nothing to do with them, although I was often tied to them. Those who have to sit for this have long been sitting. And about Venus, it means that you happened to know ... You are my sun! Worried?
- And then! - I said and looked into his eyes. "I did not know what to do!"
"And about your nephew, why did you come up with this?"
"First, I wanted to check you." I think if I do not mean anything for Andryusha, he will not help me. And when you brought money, I decided: I'll save them for a loved one for a rainy day-suddenly, I think, really, they'll put me to sleep.
The uncle even wept a little with emotion.
I never give up if they do not leave me. I mentally applauded: "Everything, Venka! Sushi oars! There's no turning back! ". And about the money! Leave them to yourself. If it were not for you, I would never have known what the heart of a loving woman is. I do not want anyone, except for you! Some bastards around! And strive to warm your hands! And you, chick, are an angel! The next day my uncle told me to wait for him at home and not go anywhere.
"It's important, chicken!" - he said. - I want to make you happy. You will be pleased.
At noon we drove up to a beautiful, as in a fairy tale, a huge luxurious mansion. "This is for you, chicken," said the uncle and handed me the documents. Then he took me by the hand and led me inside. In one of the rooms he gingerly looked around and showed the safe hidden behind the cupboard. I opened it, and I saw that it was full of money. How many are there here: one hundred thousand, two hundred, three hundred? .. I gasped, and Andryushenka said: "To you, chicken, never and nothing was a refusal." A week later, Andrei Sergeevich was put in jail. While the investigation was underway, the lawyers secured for him a preventive measure in the form of a blessed subscription not to leave the place, and the uncle on the first day, without yawning, ran off down the hill. After a while I received news from him. "I'm sorry I did not listen to your advice, chicken!" - he wrote. - Be happy. Get married! Children narozhay! More unlikely to see you. Your Andrew. " I just in case burned a compromising letter and decided: I'll do everything as my uncle advised!