Mom-girlfriend
Speaking about this model of behavior, it immediately appears that the mother who goes with her daughter or son to discotheques, discusses all the topics on the same level, remains young in the shower and often believes that in fact she still has fifteen. This pattern of behavior is most appreciated by adolescents. Imnravitsya that mom can understand as well as friends. In addition, it is in front of the friends that children always boast of such mothers. After all, it's so cool when others are forbidden because mother does not understand, but they are allowed so many things. In fact, the behavior model of a female friend is far from being as ideal as it seems.
If mom really behaves like a 100% friend, then this is fraught with very negative consequences. The child begins to perceive it as a contemporary, accordingly, all her instructions and wishes are accepted the same way, that is, are often not accepted at all. At children in a head there is an image of the idealamma-girlfriend which at all does not stick to an image of mum. Such a mother really should allow everything. Well, when the child itself is quite normal wishes. But if a teenager wants to create something unknown, then with a mom-friend it will be completely uncontrollable. Therefore, when choosing such a model of behavior, you, first of all, should analyze it from your point of view. The behavior of a girlfriend means a little different than what the children want to see. In fact, a friend is a person who understands, is not afraid to tell the truth, can also stifle, and something to forbid. In adolescence, not all children perceive friends that way. Therefore, if you choose a model of behavior, the mother-friend, then it must be based on trust. That is, it does not mean at all that you must allow everything to the child and so on. It's just that you really need to understand it and discuss its problems, without fear of calling everything by your own names. Many mamytesnyayutsya talk with children openly, justifying it by the fact that they are small. But modern adolescents know much more than we knew at this same age. They have constant access to information in the form of the Internet. But the problem is that almost all children do not know how to filter the information received. Therefore, their knowledge is incomplete, and the perception of certain things becomes distorted. If you want to be a mom-friend, then be on the subject of calmly discussing with the child anything that might interest him at that age. First of all, this, of course, is talk about sex. A female friend can not say: "You will grow - then you will know everything." She should sit down and calmly, without talking, with her son or daughter about what interests him. Understand, if this information comes from you, it will not be perceived in a distorted way. Many parents do not want to talk about anything like this, so as not to harm the children. But that's how they harm, because children already know everything, but not in the form that they would like.
What else can you say about your mom-friend? Yes, she really can be young at heart, communicate with his friends and so on. But not looking at all this, and your child, and other children should still remember that you are a mother. Therefore, do not go down to complete familiarity, allow yourself to be called only by name and so on. You are still at least twice as old as they are. Adetas should respect the elders, so do not cultivate in them a sense of equalization between younger and older. Besides, whatever you are an open friend, you still have to remain a wise mother. There are mothers who choose the model of the behavior of a friend and react as they do girlfriends of their age. That is, instead of calmly discussing the problems, giving a business council, wisely to resolve the situation, such mothers simply begin to fall into tantrums, swear, panic and so on. Unfortunately, in the end, it may turn out that the child will simply outgrow you in wisdom. And at twenty-five years old he will stop to take your advice, because he will know that you will react to the problem just like half of his friends. That is, from you it will not achieve anything that is necessary and worthwhile. Relations mom-girlfriend with a baby should be built not on bans, but on advice. So this model of behavior is more complicated than the behavior of mom-mom, since, here you have to convince the child to fulfill your wishes, while still not unmaking it, but only convincing.
Mom mom
In the young brain, the model of mama-mom's behavior seems quite distorted. All children believe that such mothers prohibit everything, do not understand anything, treat them like small children, and so on. Unfortunately, a fairly large number of adult women do behave in a similar way that it is correct. But in fact, mom-mom should be completely net. In fact, the behavior of a mom-friend and mom-mother should not be very different. Simply, mom-girlfriends more simply converge with adolescents, because they really understand the tastes and interests of children. And moms-moms do not understand, but try to take it. They will not run around discos and drink beer with the friends of the baby, but mom-mom should understand that you will not save children from this. The main thing is to make sure that your son or daughter knows the measure and understand that crossing the border is bad and wrong. In any case, the behavior of each mother, regardless of which model of behavior she chose, should be based on everyday experience and wisdom. And this implies the respect in the child of the individuality and the acceptance that your baby is not so small and he is building his life, and you need to help him, and not destroy. Mother is always a very wise woman. The behavior must be such that, in any difficult situation, the child knows that maybe my mother will not understand my point of view, but she will accept it and try to help. If you choose a model of mama-mom's behavior, you should always make sure that your instructions and prohibitions are beneficial to your child, and not become a consequence of your subjective opinion and do not destroy his personality.