In this you will help patience, observation and the desire to better understand the psychology of child-parent relations.
Defective and complex families
Problems in relations between parents and children can be caused by an unhealthy climate in the family. Families where scandals, inattention, conflicts and neglect of each other's interests are flourishing, can not be considered an ideal springboard for the upbringing of a child. Alas, but there are typical difficulties in the behavior of children growing up in conflict families. Such children are more often sick, they are more whiny, nervous, aggressive. They easily copy the ugly actions of adults, and the outside world - the school, friends in the yard or just peers - react to this extremely unkindly. It turns out that the situation is aggravated by the fact that a child from such a family experiences great difficulties with adaptation to the social environment. And then in the family and outside it, his life is full of fears, quarrels, insults and misunderstandings.
Solve problems in dealing with children in such a family need consistently. And it is necessary to begin with the elimination of conflicts and destructive forms of behavior and communication between adults. Some psychologists even managed to prove in their studies that children are often happier in families where parents put the relationship between husband and wife at the forefront and relationships with children in the second. That is, both husband and wife should pay more attention to the development of their own feelings and relationships, and only when everything is in order there, focus on the problems of children. If you get too carried away by children, forgetting about your wife, this is fraught with unnecessary difficulties.
Single parent families
Incomplete families have their own, specific range of problems. Usually they are related to the fact that the parent has to perform the role of both the father and the mother at the same time. It is especially difficult to realize if a person brings up a child of the opposite sex. The boy, who is brought up by a lonely mother, may lack the standards of male behavior before his eyes. A girl can not imagine how a woman should behave within the family, if she is brought up by her father alone.
In such situations, psychologists recommend the parent to find an adult of the opposite sex, who from time to time would teach the child the norms of behavior. For example, a father can be replaced by his uncle or grandfather, and his mother - a grandmother, aunt or even a favorite teacher. If a single parent sees someone in the environment of the child, to whom the child is stretching, do not interfere with communication. Let him absorb different strategies of adaptation to the world from different people, in the adult state they can be very useful to him.
Poor families
This sounds terrible, but, alas, in families with small incomes, a specific type of problems between children and parents often arises. Firstly, it is not always possible to give the child an opportunity to study wherever he wants. Secondly, modern children are cruel, and the consumer society, which is actively imposed on us through the media, teaches them to disdain to those who are not dressed in fashion or can not afford an extra barrette.
This problem can not be neglected. On the one hand, it is necessary to talk with the child, discuss issues that concern him, connected with finances, prestige. It is worthwhile to give examples of successful people who have reached the top in their field, despite the fact that they originated from a poor family. The belief that the financial insolvency of parents can not become an obstacle to great dreams should remain with the child before graduation. And as for the few significant things related to the design of the exterior, then it is worthwhile to orient the child to more modest needs and needs. Our society is organized in such a way that, alas, many families are forced to live very modestly, often on credit. So the ability to feel happy without gilded watches and new-fangled jeans, can be useful to the child throughout life. And the main thing is to bring to him the idea that the possession of all these things does not make him happy. Because the presence of real friends and important achievements in a person's life is often not related to how much he has material wealth and wealth.
Typical problems associated with development crises
Even in an ideal family, it sometimes storms. Something happens to the child that puts the whole house to the ears. At certain periods and with a fairly well-described in children's psychology pattern children become prickly, defiant, naughty, capricious. Usually this is due to the fact that the child is experiencing a development crisis.
The crisis of child development is a point in which a child does not want to live the old way, but in a new way can not. And then he expresses his displeasure through protests and whims. If parents do not know how to properly respond to childhood age crises, they are practically guaranteed serious problems and misunderstandings in relations with children.
There are several crises of child development: a crisis of the first year, a crisis of three years, a crisis of five years, a crisis of seven years (the first trip to school) and a teenage crisis. It is worth noting that several more crises have been studied throughout the life of a person, and the juvenile crisis is not the last in his personal history. However, we will focus only on children's crises.
Developmental crises in adults add to the problems in the relationship of parents and children of additional difficulties. And if one of the parents is experiencing a development crisis at the same time as the child, it is clear that the situation in the family can be extremely heated. And yet, the knowledge of the nature and characteristics of the course of children's crises is enough for parents to avoid the most acute angles of typical problems in their relationships with children.
Is it possible to avoid problems in the relationship of parents and children in the period of children's development crises? Of course you can. Study the details of the course and psychological essence of each child's crisis, and you will be able to respond competently to all his whims. Correct reaction to child crises allows them to proceed almost asymptomatically and without problems, which is why knowledge of the psychology of child development is so important for modern parents.