Relations with the husband after a birth of the child

Whatever one may say, and the second and third year of life of a family with a child is the most difficult in all respects. The child is already walking well, he says. It would seem, well, here it is - all the difficulties have already left behind, and now you can safely rest, remember that in addition to the baby you still have a husband / wife and to bring a fresh stream into your life. But it turns out that nothing comes out ... Why is this happening? Let's try to figure it out.
Firstly, in many respects a woman is not right. After childbirth and during the period when she is breastfeeding, she has a hormonal imbalance, which leads to sudden jumps of emotions. Gradually, the wife starts to break down on her husband (of course, on it, not on the child?). All her attention and love the young mummy addresses the crumb, and her father does not get, as a rule, nothing. Or else they receive only reproaches in all mortal sins. "Once again after work, I was delayed!", "You do not care about me and the baby!", "I'm tormented from morning till night, but you do not understand!" And so on. You can continue indefinitely.

If the first year of life of the baby daddy patience usually suffices, this can not be said about the second and third years. It seems to the man that he is needed for the family only as a source of income. He feels himself abandoned, abandoned and insanely lonely. Of course, because his wife never has time and energy to talk with him, which is not surprising, because she has absolutely no impressions, in addition to the child and life. In addition, she is very disappointed that her husband practically does not help.
The wife also feels uncomfortable, unappreciated. From this, she is even more drawn to her crumb to find solace in caring for him ("from him at least there is a payoff!", She thinks).

When a family develops such a situation of emotional lack of demand of both spouses, it becomes a perfect ground for conflicts, quarrels, cooling down to each other, betrayals, divorce ...
The woman tries to give herself to the child, trying to intuitively anticipate all his desires and throw all his strength on his upbringing. At the same time, the mother's desire is one: that her little one grows happy. But the kid can be happy only in the family where the love of the father and mother to each other is felt. If the spouses become each other only "mother" and "father", harmony in the family is violated.

Naturally, the mother, especially if she feeds the baby, it is very difficult to switch from the baby to her husband. She was already used to the child with the child, and what difficulties would not have been with him, still it's easy for her. And the relationship with her husband - this is much more difficult. Yes, and the constant lack of sleep of the mother also plays a big role: the woman simply does not have the strength and desire for anything, she just wants to sleep ...
And so, every day, the distance between a man and a woman, so dear to each other people, increases. In addition, a woman, due to hormonal changes in the body, can perceive many situations inadequately, taking all the wrongs at one's own expense.

If you see that your family comes up with the phrase "she went to the child, and he went to work," then you urgently need to do something. Think: after all, was there some kind of reserve in your relationship before the birth of the baby? You, after all, had common friends, interests, impressions? So what's the deal? After all, you remained the same interesting people to each other, just in the family you now became one more person. For the normal existence of a family, a coin box of common interesting topics and impressions should be replenished all the time. You can not permanently live past memories, sooner or later you will get tired of it, and not enough. By the way, and the child should not get used to such a small age that everything revolves around him - so he grows selfish. You do not want that, do you?

If all of the above suits the situation in your family - do not sit back, and act. Let the husband help with the child and the house, then you will have time for your husband. Distract from the child, more often leave a crumb on grandmothers, and themselves go somewhere together. The main thing is careful approach and absence of haste on the part of both the wife and the husband. You will see, if you take steps towards each other, the ice between you will begin to melt!
I wish, that at you all was good!