However, with quite ordinary men, maybe happiness! This does not mean that it is necessary to put up with their shortcomings for fear of being left alone. High requirements to the opposite sex are inherent in us by nature: choosing a partner, we subconsciously choose the father of our children, which means that he must be healthy, active, kind, responsible, reliable ... Many estimate the ideal man for a beautiful woman by these parameters intuitively, without studying his medical record and a certificate from his job.
Sometimes to assess the "marriageability" of the candidate it is only a few hours of communication. The second stage of "diagnostics" lasts from several months to a year and consists in testing the character of the chosen one. "You could have guessed that I love roses, not carnations" or "I was very sad, but you did not even notice!" - to men all this seems incomprehensible whims. In fact, representatives of the fair sex behave this way at the behest of nature: it is necessary to determine whether a man can at least some sacrifice for the sake of his beloved? Will an ideal man for a beautiful woman be close, no matter what? So the women's choice program works.
But it also happens that, no seemingly ideal man for a beautiful woman is not judged as worthy - everyone has flaws that are "incompatible" with marriage.
Legible Brides
"There are no normal men," says the captious bride. "There is a failure in the women's choice program," psychologists say. And the reasons for this malfunction are different.
star fever
It is not necessary to be the winner of the beauty contest or the winner of the "Discovery of the Year" award - a starry illness originates in childhood, when the daughter is not just adored - her idolized. "You are the most beautiful and clever of us," - repeating this as a spell, relatives convince the girl that there are many people in the world who are absolutely unworthy of her. Almost everything! The girl indulgently takes courtship, but the partner perceives extremely critical. In the end, she decides: "No, I can not put up with his qualities." I deserve better, "and continues to search for her ideal man for a beautiful woman.
Low self-esteem
Directly opposing methods of upbringing can also lead to a similar result. A girl who has not been taught to love herself, is afraid of having a relationship with a man. She has been afraid all her life that she can be abandoned, deceived, stopped loving. And this is very painful. Therefore, her subconsciousness develops a protective mechanism - the search for flaws in the ideal man for a beautiful woman. As soon as a woman feels that she begins to become emotionally attached to a partner, the fear of being abandoned becomes more active and makes her secure: "I can not be happy with a man who ..." - and she breaks off the relationship.
Resentment
Once upon a time she was not lucky with men. And, perhaps, the first disappointment brought her father. The daughter may not remember her parents' quarrels, but she learns what her mother and grandmother always told her: "All men are goats!" The girl grows up originally against men. Already from the moment of acquaintance, she looks not to good qualities, but to bad ones. Never say: "Such a cool guy!" or "I just lost my head from his charm!" - because it is deliberately skeptical. It happens that with all her claims she still marries, gives birth to a child, and then begins to find fault with her husband in every way, forcing him to leave. And when he leaves, she triumphs: indeed, one can not rely on men! Unsuccessful first love or painful separation, too, can force for life to maintain inflated demands on the partner. Therefore, these types of women remain all the time in search of the ideal man for a beautiful woman.
Exalted nature
Most people accept the fact that sooner or later the first stage of romantic relationships is going on. There are quarrels, boredom, everyday problems, but spouses find a peculiar charm in everyday life. But people with an exalted character need a regular holiday. Girls of this type simply can not physically be with their partner if they are bored with it: annoying every word, every gesture! As a rule, the young ladies themselves do not consider that this is their personal problem. They begin to search for the ideal man for a beautiful woman anew, and every time the enthusiasm is replaced by pretensions.
Younger brother
Yes, sometimes it happens, it's his fault. The elder daughter in the family is often attracted to caring for her younger brother. So she at the subconscious level assimilates that the boys need to constantly watch, pull them down, teach the mind. She begins to look at the men as a teacher of junior classes-second-graders. Her educational inclinations produce the appropriate manner of behavior, tone of voice, even a glance. Especially her annoying in a man is something for which her younger brother was punished as a child. For example, the "older sister" can part G with a man only because he throws socks, wherever he is or bends the corners of the pages in the book.
Blinded by what was
However, it is not so important why it was the desire to meet Mr. Perfection. The main thing is that this desire can (and should) be overcome - because perfection does not happen in nature. Even the prince had a fairy tale, there would be the same shortcomings as a normal man. Do not want to spend the rest of your life alone? Have to narrow the bar of requirements.
Choosing the future partner in life, it is worthwhile to dwell on who has undoubted positive qualities and, most importantly, loves you, and the rest ... make your own! Yes Yes! As in the song: "I blinded him from what was, and then what was, then fell in love," - an excellent guide to action!
Mark all the good, dealing with a man who, in principle, is pleasant to you. What, you must completely close your eyes to the shortcomings? No, it's better to treat them ironically. This does not exclude your claims and comments, just a flaw will not spoil the impression of a person.
Always keep in mind the case that allowed you to think very well about this person. As soon as you think: "My God, how I live with this ... Again the socks are scattered all over the house!" - immediately remember something good. Remember in detail: sensations, sounds and smells, look at things reminiscent of a pleasant moment. Exercise is based on neurolinguistic programming - it works without fail. Partner again becomes for us native and desired.
Find an excuse
Usually everything good that a person does, we perceive as the norm, and on the errors we focus attention. Try to explain bad deeds by an unfavorable combination of circumstances, but admire good people as often as possible!
Open claims are useful - they help us understand each other better. People can get along together if the ratio of positive and negative partner traits is about 5: 1. And the ratio of claims is the same. Today you have already praised your faithful five times? Then one time and you can scold.
The ideal man for a beautiful woman is not a stereotype. Praise and admire your partner, even if he does not really deserve it. As often as possible, tell a man that he is the most kind, generous, caring. A little time - and he will become so.
Most men are aware of their shortcomings and have nothing against the remarks. A man will do what you want: you just have to put your desires into concrete words - they do not understand the "subtle" hints. They can, for example, look at the trash can full to the brim and do not understand that it's time to endure it. So tell me! And everything will be resignedly done.
Men are malleable with regard to the transformation of personal habits. For the sake of the beloved, they are ready to change, and at any age! Do not be afraid of male imperfections - create your ideal man for a beautiful woman.