The truth and fiction about the first intimacy

When we were fourteen years old with friends, we dreamed that the first love, the first sexual experience, the first (he is the only and indestructible!) Marriage coincided with us. This did not work for anyone. But when we discussed our fates recently, we realized that life is moving in the right direction. So, how important is the first intimate affinity? Is the first man a standard with which a woman compares all subsequent? At what age is it better to start? Let's confirm or disprove the common thesis about the debut of love. 1. The first experience influences the further sex life.
It's true, if it was positive, then women have a conditioned reflex: sex is good, it brings pleasure. Such a lucky woman feels easier and brighter orgasm, gets more pleasure from sexual intimacy. Bitter experience, for example, a difficult situation, when a girl was taken by force, leads to the opposite result. The woman is left with a psychological trauma. Often she is afraid and beware of men, she blames herself for what happened. Sincere wound leads to problems in sexual life. Such a woman often has vaginismus, that is involuntary contraction of the muscles of the pelvis and the vagina. She needs work with a psychologist, sex therapist and other specialists - the earlier, the better.

2. The taste of the forbidden fruit is better to know by 18-20 years.
These data have long been outdated - now in many cases everything happens much earlier. Statistics implicitly says: in our country, 10% of children and adolescents from 9 to 14 years old already have sex! These "green" couples - a sign of ill health in society.

Dysfunctional families, propaganda for debauchery, violence on TV, in the movies - all this leads to the fact that children try to start their adult life as quickly as possible. Another 40% of adolescents enter into the first sexual intimacy from 14 to 18 years, 40% of boys and girls - from 18 to 22 years, and 10% - after 22 years. According to sexologists, a person should engage in sexual intimacy when psychologically ready for it. Equal friends and statistics are not worth it. According to doctors, "this" should occur with psychological readiness and preferably for love. The mutual consent of the parties is important. Not very good, when the girl sincerely resists, and the guy persuades her for a long time. And the girl is given only "because she is afraid of losing him" or "not to be laughed at by her friends." And He and She must be ready for this step. When a person is in love, hormones of pleasure stand out - endorphins and a stress hormone - adrenaline. Such an alliance of hormones produces a wonderful mental state. Staying in it, the girl gets more pleasure from sexual intimacy. Therefore, with endorphins farewell to virginity is easier and less painful - physiologically and psychologically.

3. Virgins after 25 can have headaches.
This is not quite true. Rather, psychological problems. If you remain innocent until 30 years old, the complex of the old maid can develop. Sexologists advise in such a situation to reduce the requirements for men. Then finding a pair will be much easier. In the end, you are also not perfect. However, there are people who are late for sexual development in comparison with the rest. Such women and men need medical help.

4. Oh, how hard the first steps are!
It's right. And the first sexual contact is difficult for both the girl and the boy. The difference is only in the psychological perception of what is happening: the woman seeks that the man she had last, and the man - that the woman he was the first. For men, the first sexual contact may be even more important. He feels a serious responsibility. After all, the first night for him - you can say a kind of "test of masculinity." If everything went well - you're a man. And if not ... In this case, he may even have an erection disorder. Especially if his failure will be laughed at. Such a young man, perhaps even have to go to see a specialist. Therefore, the behavior of a woman plays a very large role. It is necessary to exercise tact and delicacy so that a man feels comfortable.

5. Virginity is always lost at the first closeness.
Usually it happens. At the first proximity there is a deflow of the hymen. But it also happens that it is not torn, but simply stretched. She can not break even after repeated lovemaking. Or the spit can not be torn completely. For example, this can happen if a man's member enters the vagina not completely, and also if the girl's genitals have been damaged due to trauma, masturbation, or even inadvertently examining the gynecological chair. Some girls (and especially impressionable young men sometimes too) are afraid that at the first intimacy there will be a lot of blood. But this does not always correspond to reality. Abundant bleeding sometimes happens if the hymen is quite dense. Usually loss of virginity is accompanied by several drops of blood. The pain is present, but, as a rule, not very strong. And sometimes it does not happen at all. In any case, after a couple of days, the edges of the hymen heal and the girl no longer feels uncomfortable with sex.

6. The first man is the one who deprived the girl of her innocence.
In principle, this is so. But the girl can feel otherwise. For example, at the reception of a sexologist, one patient told that she lost her virginity at 17 years old - at a drunken party with an unfamiliar friend whom she did not see again. But her first man, she considers a young man, with whom she began to meet a couple of years after this incident. Sexologists explain this as a psychological device that some women use for "self-deception." They themselves choose which man to consider first and then sincerely believe in it. After all, feelings of sexual contact play a more important role at times than simple physiology.

7. The first sexual experience remains the most unforgettable.
Nothing like this. A woman will compare her men, and not the fact that the first partner will stand on this ladder above the rest. The most unforgettable partner may be for her not the person with whom she lost her virginity, but the one whom she fell in love not only with the body, but with the soul. By the way, the same applies to the stronger sex. Some of their women remember men all their lives, and some can even remember nothing - sometimes, even their name ...

8. At the first intimacy orgasm is mandatory.
This happens only in movies or in cheap romance novels: "it was her first sexual experience and she ascended from bliss to heaven," she felt the man's touch to his "bud" for the first time - and her body was filled with such grace as if at once thousands of beautiful flowers blossomed and millions of butterflies waved their wings. " Unfortunately, for the first time orgasm probably will not come, so do not wait for it in vain. A girl can experience pleasure from preliminary caresses or from masturbation. Orgasm can come later, with the advent of sexual experience. However, sexual pleasure - the concept is quite subjective and individual. Therefore, if you have experienced orgasm for the first time, it's just for you to rejoice.