Great Illusion
Dislike for the elderly from the point of view of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist is a defensive reaction, a naive and rude belief: "We will never be like this, we will never grow old and die." Then follows the conclusion: "the old ones are to blame, that they are old." What allows us to believe that old age will never touch us? Strangely enough, science. Over the past hundred years, about a hundred theories of aging, accompanied by suggestions, have been developed, how to "fix it." Change with the genetic modification "gene aging" (in the existence of which many geneticists doubt). Deceive the cells by introducing them a certain microelement, which activates the intercellular communication. In the end, just cut, pull up, and where it is necessary - to pump up the skin, as if it is an old, out-of-shape suit, requiring re-engraving. All this is so exciting and futuristically attractive that we simply can not critically treat such information, somewhere implicitly assuring ourselves that the previous generations have aged simply because they did not have the opportunity to use the achievements of molecular genetics and aesthetic medicine. We forget that everything depends on the brain. What exactly is the impulse sent from the brain to produce or stop the production of hormones, that the brain can start (or turn off) the program of premature aging, as well as cause graying, early menopause, excess weight, wrinkles. And since science has not yet found tools for rejuvenating the brain, we prefer not to think that without a constant positive attitude, conscious and painstaking disposal of negativity and phobias - including gerontophobia, without regular training of positive emotions and intense mental activity, youth is impossible . A person is young, as long as he is capable of something genuinely interested in and setting new goals. This postulate is known for a long time, so it does not produce such an amazing effect as the ability to rejuvenate your cells without any strain, just by drinking something "magical".
Is there a lie in a fairy tale?
If we turn to folk tales in which wisdom is often hidden, we find that elderly people are the invariable bearers of life experience, knowledge, disinterested support, and that a polite, calm, respectful attitude to them is always rewarded (or, from a practical point of view, pays off), and disparaging - is punished. But at the same time, older people are often passive. The problem of modern mothers is that even when they give their own children time and are completely and sincerely confident that they are doing everything for the offspring, they spend this time not on creating strong emotional ties, but on the social motivation of the child. In other words, more attention and importance is given to teaching English, figure skating or artistic modeling than collaborative activities, joint recreation, joint experiences and reasoning. The result is absolutely predictable: from children who received an early vaccination of competitiveness and career aspirations, self-sufficient people, not aimed at giving their attention and human warmth to their close ones, are growing up to succeed, self-sufficient people. Especially - the mother, who, in a paradoxical confluence of circumstances, increasingly needs regular and deep emotional contact with her children. They give advice, task or instruction, but they do it young. In this seemingly completely idyllic picture, a contradiction is laid, which is by no means the invention of our time.
After all, if in fairy tales it is insistently and didactically straightforwardly told that it is necessary to respect the elderly, this shows that even in the old days, everything was not smooth in the relations between fathers and children. Another thing is that children who listened to these tales, told by the way, grandmothers, unconsciously assimilated socially and pragmatically conditioned necessity to listen to the elders. True, according to the paradox of human life, we fully realize the need for respect and care for the elderly only when we ourselves cross the threshold of late maturity. The image of active elderly people, if you look closely, turns out to be negatively colored in Russian tales: Pushkin's Baba Babarikh and the Old Woman, who were not satisfied with the modest new trough, and the immortal Kashchei, in the guise of which the person who has been buried in the world, the old man ... Specifically in our country, gerontophobia in the sense of dislike for the old people is spurred on by the fact that for most Russians, old age is poverty, and not at all deserved rest on cruise liners even along the Volga (if not in the Caribbean Kim islands, as is the case with the German and Japanese retirees).
Objective reality
Why does the attitude towards the elderly at the household level have recently changed for the worse? The reason for progress. Earlier - and this lasted for centuries - it was the elderly who were the bearers of the wealth of life experience necessary for the survival of new generations. They saw in their time and war, and hunger, and all sorts of human collisions. Over the life of the last two or three generations, the situation is changing rapidly. Now for success in life it is necessary to be guided in such areas that twenty years ago simply did not exist and the experience accumulated by the elderly depreciates before our eyes. Although, if you look closely at such eternal, timeless moments as the relationship between people, the elderly still know more. Remember, like Mark Twain: "When I was fourteen, my father was so stupid that I could hardly bear it; but when I turned twenty-one, I was amazed at how old this man had grown wiser over the past seven years. " Aggravation of old age and alienation between generations is due to many factors. At least two of them are related to changes in the structure of the family and intra-family relations. The first is an increase in life expectancy. To put it simply, a century ago the conflict of generations could not develop at full strength, as the older generation quickly passed away and, in the sociobiological sense, "liberated the place". The second circumstance: the replacement of home early education by the collective. It is known that up to three years the child is 100% dependent on the mother emotionally and mentally. And even after a three-year period, right up to puberty, direct communication with the mother, training behavioral patterns, survival strategies through imitation is paramount. But the last few generations of parents entrust their children to collective educators - kindergartens. Representatives of the generation of today's 40-50-year-olds often became victims of semi-educational upbringing. As a consequence, they first lost contact with their mothers, and then failed to instill a sense of family unity to their children at that age, when necessary: up to five to seven years. Calling to the children, and even more to the grandchildren's feelings, when the descendants turned fifteen, and even more so - thirty-five, is completely meaningless. Hence, in order to defeat gerontophobia in its aspect when it comes to negativity towards the elderly, it is necessary to radically re-examine the relationship with young children and approach them with the same respect and care with which you would like, that in many years to come they treated you.
Skin care in old age is necessary and caring for its appearance - too. But to get a prolonged and not only safe, but also useful result, you need a radically different approach to skin cells. Instead of forcibly removing the aging layers of the epidermis, cosmetics should do everything to prolong their life. Recall, each "set" of cells is designed for seven years. If, with the help of properly selected, skin friendly ingredients, to help each layer live through the allotted time (without prolonging the duration of cell life), the youth of the face will last at least a decade and a half, or even longer. For this purpose, of course, natural ingredients are best suited, because only they are able to really nourish, and not create the illusion of nutrition.
Payment for misappropriation
With moral psychological and, if you like, karmic consequences of age-related phobia ("everything returns, and how you treat the elderly, so in a few decades will treat you") is more or less clear. But troubles on this do not stop, because the second component of gerontophobia - fear of their own aging, too, can come out sideways to fighters for eternal youth. Artificial rejuvenation stands on two "whales": bringing to the surface of younger layers of the epidermis and urging on the hormonal background of the body. What exactly is fraught with hobby for hormones and uncontrolled use of all sorts of elixirs and cocktails of youth, doctors never tire of telling, insouciantly recalling that from the point of view of biology forever the young cell is a cancer cell. The first result is achieved due to deep peelings: from the surface of the face is ripped off (you in fact remember that to peel - translates as "rip off"?) The withering layer of the skin, from underneath it looks young, in fact, not yet ripe and defenseless before the aggressive environment. The problem is that we have a limited, inherited number of layers of the skin, that is, fifty. Each of them under normal conditions is designed for seven years, so that our set - with a large margin, for three and a half centuries, how many no one else has lived. If once every six months to do deep acidic peeling, laser resurfacing, photobleaching - and start at thirty, then by forty-five you can use up all the resources of renewal and regeneration. But after all, as we suddenly realize, advancing along the timeline, attractive and young you want to look and at fifty-five, maybe even more than thirty! So, to put up and put on a cross? Back to the times not so remote, when a fifty-year-old woman could only be a grandmother (in extreme cases - a young woman) and as such she perceived herself? Of course not! It's just that you need to take care of yourself competently, aiming not so much at the result "here and now by any means" as on the philosophy of wellness - that is, the well-being of the body as a whole for many years to come.