Surviving grief means knowing how to go a long way in accepting loss and restoring a normal emotional and physical state.
In this state, a person is confronted with a complex of feelings:
- sadness and loneliness - is especially acute after the loss of a relative;
- Anger - comes from a sense of frustration, and powerlessness to change anything;
- a sense of guilt and self-flagellation - arises from the fact that a person begins to think that he did not say something to the deceased, did not do something;
- anxiety and fear - appears in consequence of loneliness, fear of not coping with the situation, vulnerability;
-Getness - can take the form of apathy or lethargy, unwillingness to do anything;
- despair - a serious form of a condition that can be protracted;
- shock - a condition of numbness, confusion, stupefying; it is experienced by people in the first minutes after the sad news.
Some thoughts are widespread in the early stages of mourning and usually disappear after a certain time. If they remain, they can lead to phobias and depression, which require more serious treatment.
Neverness is the first reaction after the news of death. Failure to believe in what happened can last for some time.
Confusion - the inability to concentrate, the scatter of thoughts, forgetfulness and detachment.
Concern is the obsession with thoughts of the deceased, the drawing of death pictures. Recollection of the images of the deceased.
The feeling of presence - the constant thoughts that the deceased side, did not go anywhere.
Hallucinations (visual and auditory) - happen often enough. A person hears the calling voice of the deceased, sees his image. Usually this happens within a few weeks after the loss.
Grief is more than just an emotion, it seriously affects thinking processes. A person who is in great stress does not believe in the death of a loved one, he constantly thinks about him, scrolls in his thoughts important events for him, it is difficult for him to concentrate on anything else, he closes in himself.
In addition to the emotional sphere, grief also finds a physical response in the body. Disturb the tightness in the throat, the heaviness in the chest, the pain in the heart, gastrointestinal disorders. Possible headaches, dizziness, hot flashes or cold chills.
With prolonged stress, serious health problems, the development of psychosomatic diseases can arise.
Many sleep becomes restless, intermittent, insomnia, nightmares. We must understand that people perceive death in different ways, some become isolated in themselves and want to be alone, while others are ready to talk about the deceased day and can be angry when it seems that others do not mourn and cry enough. It is important not to put pressure on a person, but help him to cope with his own experiences.
A person must understand that loss is the main part of our life cycle. Everyone who is born must die - this is the law. Everything that we see around us, one day will cease to exist - the earth, the sun, people, cities. Everything in the physical universe is temporary.
The death of a loved one forces us to ask ourselves "What is life?", "What is the purpose of life?". Answers to these questions can serve as an incentive for changing the way of life, make it more meaningful and profound, help change one's own character, make love to other people.
Recommendations for overcoming grief.
Accept the situation. It is necessary to realize that a person has left and a reunion with him, at least in this life, will not happen.
Work through pain. Allowing oneself to cry and get angry, tears and anger is an important part of the healing process.
Adaptation to the world without it. No one will replace a loved one, but it is necessary to learn how to live in the created situation.
Reinvest emotional energy into other relationships. Allow yourself to interact and build relationships with other people. Do not at all think that this will defile the memory of the deceased.
Restoring faith, beliefs and values. After a certain time a person undergoes pain and aggression, he returns to life. This is an important stage after suffering emotional trauma.
What to do and how to help survive the loss of a loved one.
1. Be a good listener. People should talk a lot about the death of a loved one. The more they talk, the faster they realize the reality.
2. Do not be afraid to talk about a person who has died.
3. Stay on the line. Call yourself or visit the mourner. In such a situation, a person is not in a position to independently maintain contacts with friends.
4. Do not use templates, speak sincerely.
5.Protjanite hand of help. It can be help in cooking, shopping, cleaning.
6. Take empathy - the ability to empathize with loved ones.
That's how psychologists advise to behave if a loved one has died and how to live further after the loss.