The overwhelming number of husbands first of all appreciate the warmth of a reliable rear and home comfort more than a burning but short-lived passion. Your task is not to turn this rear into ruins. Only from there, where the earth is burnt, I want to run without looking back.
Psychologists say: a man is looking for a mistress in the one that he married at one time. It's not so much in the external "type" as in the internal content, the properties of the character that you over the years have changed, and he considered them ideal.
WHERE TO BEGIN
Determine what apart from sex you are connected and are you ready to sacrifice it for the sake of moral peace. If you do not consider breaking the relationship, you do not think it is possible - for this there is no material base, mental strength (you still love it) or self-confidence (that you will find another husband), if the children are friends with their father and love him, you have to fight for marriage. Above all, stop discussing his betrayal and act on a proven scheme.
TIME FRAME
Novels on the side last for men on average from 8 months (in general, not necessarily with one woman). Do you want to emerge victorious in an undeclared war? You must hold out for a year and a half or two. The main thing is not to let your rightful place be taken by another. Over time, everything usually gets better. The basic theses of this period, which you must inspire yourself: you are a beautiful woman and you can quite like it, you are not to blame for the betrayal of your husband, you are worthy of love and honest relations. But do not risk changing - this is an excuse to go!
CHILL OUT
Realize the simple truth: the appearance of another woman with you is in no way connected. It did not come from the fact that you are "terrible", "not groomed" or "stupid". Opponents appear in the most beautiful and virtuous wives.
What if my husband got a mistress friends? It happens when friends inadvertently (and even specifically) reduce their husbands "to the left." If there is a possibility to exclude them from the circle of communication - do it. If not - watch for their further actions.
Sobry "on the side" - you can briefly leave for a friend, but without things - and start acting. No putting him out the door and hysterics! This is stupid and does not lead to anything good.
COMFORT
Men rarely change sex for comfort, and this should be used. It is necessary to strengthen the house: to cook more delicious, to bring beauty and order, to take care of oneself, to start meeting with friends. Do not go down to monitoring the husband by phone and checking his mail. Try to protect yourself from negative feelings. If the relationship with her husband's mistress was tied up recently, at home he, most likely, will simply be a nightmare. He will criticize everything: your appearance, personality, work. Collect your will into a fist and do not be insulted, but listen as much as possible. And shake your head. All of your "new shortcomings" mean the virtues your rival possesses. This experience is not a sin and adopt. He will not lose you, but his husband will be surprised to find new, pleasant sides for you.
SAY SAY
He can tell you about the opponent. Tells - we listen in the position of "caring mother - and remember it well. The main thing is not to flare up. It is important to understand: what does it have that I do not have? Most likely, it turns out: we lack the qualities of "girl" and "mistress." "Girl" takes a man as he is - always admires and never criticizes. "Mistress" - passionate and unpredictable. She never has a headache! Most importantly - in all these periods do not deny her husband in sex. Sex should always be.
GENERAL DETERMINATION
The husband with whom you share common interests, rarely goes away forever. Start to involve him in a string of family matters. Involve relatives and simply pleasant and necessary people in your common circle of communication. Put your husband in the epicenter of all processes, let him know that he is needed and loved. "The negative side", having sensed something wrong, will slowly start to roll up scandals and to be scared. Your task is to get it first. You must forgive your husband's offense, otherwise it will not work! Meditation and a sense of self-sufficiency will help. Try it!
BUSINESS IS BAD IF ...
1. Mistress is permanent and long-lasting.
2. You can not have children, and the competitor is capable of procreation.
H. You have never been real friends - just lovers, whose feelings have cooled.
4. You are above it by status, material security, older, stronger, tougher.
5. He has such a status that he has a "mistress" to have a mistress, and the husband has got a mistress on the principle "so necessary".