There are people who constantly need to be in the company. When they remain alone with themselves, then after a couple of hours they begin to feel uncomfortable. In contrast to such extraverts, there are others - singles. A loner can not leave the house for weeks, see friends every few months, constantly talk about what needs silence, peace and solitude. But is it true? Are people really single people because they were born this way or was it the result of some psychological trauma and frustration in life?
The habit of living alone
Some of us as children were not particularly well understood by other children. Someone tried to still join the society, as a result, he succeeded. But some people are used to being alone. Their love of loneliness is just a habitual pattern of behavior that has developed from early childhood. In fact, a person simply does not know how to be in the company, how to conduct himself. From the fact that he is not accustomed to increased attention, a loner begins to feel uncomfortable, it seems to him that everyone is paying attention to him, watching, something they want from him. Accordingly, he has a feeling that it is better to be better than with someone. When a loner remains without other people's attention, he can relax and not think about what to do and what to say. He feels pacification, which he can not find in the company. It often happens that this type of singles in the depths of the soul really wants to learn to communicate with lyudmii better "join" the team. But because of children's and teenage complexes, it is extremely difficult to cross over their fears. That's why such people continue to go through life alone.
Disappointment
It also happens that someone chooses loneliness quite sensibly. For example, in adolescence, a person communicated with a large number of people, was constantly in the company, and then unexpectedly it is separated from everyone and says that it is better for him to be alone than with someone. The reason for this behavior can be frustration in the environment. Unfortunately, not all people find themselves good friends and worthy acquaintances. It also happens that people in the vynoschye years associate with "bad companies" and growing up, are very much disappointed in their environment. And since in a fairly long period of time they meet more bad people than good, there is a feeling that the world is painted in black. Usually, such disillusioned individuals alone experienced treason and betrayal on the part of the close people in whom they made a mistake. As a result, they decided that it is better to be one than to draw close to people, and then each time to experience pain and discomfort. By the way, these single people can have several close people with whom they maintain close relations. But all the peer-to-peer loner almost does not let anyone in too close to the initium fully trust. He can treat his friends perfectly with the people, but he will always feel how he fences off the invisible wall from them and does not let him into his life completely. Due to fairly rare meetings with relatives, such people try to control their affection, so that in case of a second betrayal, do not experience it too sharply and do not feel that the world has collapsed. Disappointed loners very severely restrict their feelings. This can be seen from the fact that from time to time such a type of people "breaks down." They begin to "go out into people", have fun, see all. But after a couple of days they re-enter into themselves and even more withdraw because they knowingly or subconsciously believe that they allowed themselves to be superfluous and, as it were, punish themselves for such behavior.
Angry loners
This type of singles is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the difference between them is that the disappointed simply choose loneliness and do not try to blame the whole world for this, even if they consider it far from perfect. A voztoobloblennye loners, being themselves, do not forget to constantly remind everyone around him that they are to blame for this kind of mental state of a person. Takyhodinochek can not be called real, because no one is allowed to go, they are constantly trying to attract attention. Such people like to try to prove to others that they do not need anyone. But in fact, they feel very unhappy because of the fact that they do not need them. That's why they try to attract attention. For example, almost every door has a spiteful grandfather or old granny who constantly does not like everything. This person does not communicate with anyone, but everyone knows about him, as every day his screams, abuse and accusation of those around him in all their sins are heard. This is the typical example of an embittered loner. It is difficult for such a person to prove anything, or to find a common language with him. In fact, he himself is to blame for his solitude, but he does not want to understand and accept it.
Loneliness- as part of enlightenment
Perhaps, it is worth remembering one more type of loneliness - these are the so-called enlightened people. That is, hermits, Buddhist monks, in general, those who choose solitude, not because of disappointments and internal complexes, but because they want to find answers to some questions and understand why they live on this planet. There are very few such fully realized singles, since not every person is ready to go in search of the truth, instead of building a career, creating a family and so on. Some believe that such behavior can be called a psychic deviation. In fact, most simply do not understand such people, and as you know, it is easier for society to call it incomprehensible than to try to figure it out. Enlightened singles do not avoid being completely with people. Simply they are really more interesting and comfortable in their inner world, rather than with others. Such people have a completely different outlook and views on life.
Therefore, if you do not take into account such enlightened loners, all other types of people who say that they want to be themselves, in the depth of the soul still need society. Simply they need to find the right approach, not giving them complexes and disappointments to take the upper hand with sincere impulses. Such people can not go into the soul, as in their apartment and have to sit on the sofa. It is necessary to open the doors to their inner world little by little, leaving room for personal space and in no case trying to press and snatch. And yet, trying to become closer to the loners, you need to be sure that in the end you will not become the reason for the frustrations. After all, if a single person does let someone out of the world, this one can not only expand it, but also destroy it completely. This must always be remembered.