Love
Yes, it is love that most often makes us control the people. Now we are talking not only about the love of a man, but also about the love of a brother (sister), friend (friend), child. When we love someone, then we worry about this man and, of course, we try to do everything to make him happy. But it is known how much we would not try for a person, he will still make some mistakes and he will suffer from it. But we do not want the native little man to suffer. So we try to protect him from everything. This is the main reason for control. We are trying to find out where he is going and what he is doing to warn against error. Even if a person directly says that he wants to decide everything himself, we still do not give in, considering that he simply does not understand what he is doing, and we know how it will be better. Most often this behavior is most inherent in relation to the younger ones. Moreover, a person can be as younger in age, and be felt as a junior purely-psychologically. Looking at such a person, we think that we have more experience in property, so we must help him, protect him from those mistakes that have been committed independently. And the more he does not want to take our help, the more we try to control. Naturally, a person, feeling our control, begins to resist him, since no one likes to be dealt with by all questions. Vitoge, he can start acting just to spite and make even more mistakes. And we, looking at this, further strengthen control. In the end, a closed circle is obtained, from which it is very difficult to get out. Therefore, control, caused by the love, in fact, brings instead of pluses many disadvantages.
The more we try to control a person and protect him, the worse our relations become. In addition, feeling control, a person constantly feels the desire to resist him. That is, when we advise something, he is already doing the opposite of the principle, only to prove to himself that he is able to act independently, that he does not have a personal opinion. Moreover, a person can perfectly well realize that he does not do the right thing, but he will not give up anyway, just to get rid of control. Control over your loved ones is the strongest and most senseless. Sometimes we do not even notice what we are doing, because love is just covering our eyes and it seems to us , that it is necessary to save the person at all costs. Although, in fact, instead of saving, we all spoil it. Therefore, if you notice that you are trying to control close people, try to stop yourself from stopping doing it. Undoubtedly, at first it will be very difficult for you, since a person will necessarily make some mistake, and you will be painfully tired. But then you will notice that a close person begins to listen to his advice and does not react to them so negatively. In addition, each of us needs to make mistakes and get our own experience. Without this, we can not choose our right path in life. Always remember that trying to control a person, instead of helping, you are harming him. And if you do not do this, you can fully become for him an authority and really save from many bad things that a person can face in life.
Mistrust
Another reason why we begin to control someone is distrust. If we doubt the feelings of a person, if it seems to us that he is lying, do not talk, etc., then we try to control every step he takes to convict him, to confirm his conjectures about his lies, and so on. We begin to call constantly, ask: where is he and with whom. If a person does not want or can not answer, we make scandals. In general, we are trying to make sure that the very minute of life we knew. Unfortunately, such control leads to the fact that people begin to lie and not talk with luck. It must be remembered that each has the right to his personal space and his secrets. If a person does not say something, maybe we really do not need to know about it and there is nothing terrible in his silence. On the contrary, it is abnormal that you do not give him freedom and want him to report on every step. Think about whether you are being forced to do the same, and if so, is it nice for you to feel that someone is following you constantly? Absolutely, you will answer: no. That's how you control your person. If you love someone, you must trust him and not suspect every minute that he does not carry out with you. And in the case, when you know that your suspicions are not groundless, it's worthwhile to wonder if you need such a person at all. As much as you do not control him, he will still act as he pleases. Believe me, everyone can find a way to get out of control for a short period of time and do what he wants. Therefore, its control can not be achieved.
The desire to control because of distrust arises on the basis of our complexes. We are simply afraid that a person does not like us enough, appreciates and values us. We believe that he can find someone better, change, love someone more. And all this is due to lack of confidence in ourselves. Our beloved may not even think about such initially, but, in the end, we will encourage him to such thoughts and actions with our control. Therefore, if you feel that you do not always trust a person and want to control him, then instead of spending your nerves and energy on shadowing the chandallers, you better try to change yourself. Once you understand that you really have something to love and you are not worse than someone, mistrust will disappear. Self-sufficient and strong people never control because of non-trust, because they can not even think that someone can find better ones than themselves. So fight with your complexes, and you are bound to take notice of the desire to control close people.
As we see, the desire to control arises only because of a great love for someone and because of self-doubt. It is these two causes that will become fundamental for the control of people.